Worried about my 15month old development

[Ayd7815]

Hi all! I wondered if someone could give me some insight or reassure me.

I have a beautiful 15 month old daughter

No concerns with physical milestones etc
It's more language

Positives - clapping from 9 months. Initiating peekaboo herself from 10 months and still loves this. Can wave sometimes since 14 months.
Very smiley and happy little girl who babbles a ton all day and can say 'isshh' for fish and some times 'ca ca' for clap clap. Sometimes says mama to me.
Copies other sounds sometimes and sticking out tongue out.
Great eye contact. So affectionate and seeks me out all the time to sit in my lap and pick her up. Arms out and cries and pulls at my clothes. Likes to demand my attention a lot. If I leave house she runs to door and cries
If I go upstairs she stand by stairs and cries for me to come back
Responds to her name most of the time. Can follow a point well and looks at object not my hand. (This is more recent)
Explores all day long and plays with her toys appropriately
Starting to bring me some toys to show me I think. Not sure on this one.
If she wants water from sippy cup she brings it to me and holds it out so I can open it for her. She's passes other things back and forth too. ESP if I do something fun with it she loves to watch and laugh
Joint attention. If I show her the light chandelier for eg. I play with it and she looks at me and looks at the light and laughs and wants to do the same. Lots of eye contact kissing and playing and laughing with me and dad
If I point at picture in book she will copy this action. And same with light up toys and buttons.
If I sing a song and pause she will hum and babble away like she's singing too. Lots of smiles and back and forth looking here
She's always looking for me if she can't find me and smiling lots. When she's upset and I'm not holding her she looks for me to hold her
We have strong emotional bond for sure
Understands simple instructions like 'no' and will stop.
Come to mama, give to mama.

Negatives

She doesn't point. Not with intent to share or ask for things. Huge concern for me. Everyone always says it's huge red flag. And I'm worried she won't be by 18months. Times flying by.
She can do the action of pointing for a while but isn't using it for communication yet
Another concern is when we are playing she wants to sit in my lap and play or go through a book but she doesn't give it to me to go through with her if you know what I mean.
Sometimes she brings a book up to me or a toy but I'm not sure if it's to share with me

If she was pointing I wouldn't even be concerned at all. Do I have to be worried? Do you think she will pick it up before the dreaded 18months cut off?

Sorry for long post. Please help. :s

I wouldn’t be too worried, everything else sounds very positive. I have a little boy the same age and he does everything your daughter does but he does point.

I also have a 2.5 year old who didn’t point until over the age of 2, still doesn’t really wave, has few words and has been referred for early intervention. I knew something wasn’t quite right from around 13 months. He had stopped clapping his hands, we couldn’t get his attention and he never reacted to us entering the room or leaving. Didn’t react to his name until over the age of 2 and didn’t play with toys appropriately.

Health visitor told me that regression of skills is the biggest red flag. Also 18 months is still another 3 months away for you and babies develop a lot in 3 months.

My 16 month DD doesn’t point. I got worried about this too and went down the rabbit hole of Googling, but actually there are a thousand positive things she does, just like it seems for you. She sounds like she’s interacting well to me but I’m not an expert 🤷‍♀️

I have a 2.5yr old, he did point occasionally but never that much and doesn't now! Also he didn't say much at all until he was 2. There are lots of positives in your post and I wouldn't worry too much for the moment, they all develop at different rates

@Temple29

I wouldn’t be too worried, everything else sounds very positive. I have a little boy the same age and he does everything your daughter does but he does point.

I also have a 2.5 year old who didn’t point until over the age of 2, still doesn’t really wave, has few words and has been referred for early intervention. I knew something wasn’t quite right from around 13 months. He had stopped clapping his hands, we couldn’t get his attention and he never reacted to us entering the room or leaving. Didn’t react to his name until over the age of 2 and didn’t play with toys appropriately.

Health visitor told me that regression of skills is the biggest red flag. Also 18 months is still another 3 months away for you and babies develop a lot in 3 months.

Hi. Thanks for your post.

I really hope my little one picks up pointing soon too. If she was doing this and sharing her toys with me a bit more I wouldn't be worried

Yes regression is a big one. But my LO is better in development in all areas then she was at 12-13 months.

@Scrunchies

My 16 month DD doesn’t point. I got worried about this too and went down the rabbit hole of Googling, but actually there are a thousand positive things she does, just like it seems for you. She sounds like she’s interacting well to me but I’m not an expert 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for your reassuring post. How is your little one doing. Now? When did your LO start pointing to share and ask?

@Orangetractor

I have a 2.5yr old, he did point occasionally but never that much and doesn't now! Also he didn't say much at all until he was 2. There are lots of positives in your post and I wouldn't worry too much for the moment, they all develop at different rates

How is your little one now? Thanks for your post. X

Mine is a few months older than your DD and he’s my second. He did point at that age but I can’t remember the nuances like whether he handed me a book or sat himself down on my lap to read. I don’t think he responded to his name, though.

Your DD sounds really communicative! It sounds like she wants to communicate with you, she’s trying to make noises, and she’s expressing her wants (eg with the sippy cup).

If you’re worried about the lack of pointing, can you ask your health visitor? She sounds as though she’s doing just fine to me but a HV might be able to offer some reassurance or confirm that this is something to watch.

@MyCatHatesWhiskas

Mine is a few months older than your DD and he’s my second. He did point at that age but I can’t remember the nuances like whether he handed me a book or sat himself down on my lap to read. I don’t think he responded to his name, though.

Your DD sounds really communicative! It sounds like she wants to communicate with you, she’s trying to make noises, and she’s expressing her wants (eg with the sippy cup).

If you’re worried about the lack of pointing, can you ask your health visitor? She sounds as though she’s doing just fine to me but a HV might be able to offer some reassurance or confirm that this is something to watch.

Thanks for your kind words! When your LO was this age and Pointing. Was it to show you things they were looking at or ask for something? Thanks again x

Hi OP, my son didnt point to request until about 14 months, and pointing to share was closer to 16m I think. Has always been a very sociable and engaged child, but I remember the wait for the pointing is so stressful especially if you're in the google rabbit hole in the meantime!

@FestiveMelts

Hi OP, my son didnt point to request until about 14 months, and pointing to share was closer to 16m I think. Has always been a very sociable and engaged child, but I remember the wait for the pointing is so stressful especially if you're in the google rabbit hole in the meantime!

It's so stressful! It's making me very stressed atm My LO is 15 months and still not pointing to request even. When I have something she wants she just reaches whole hand and tries to grasp and cries ans will look at me too sometimes to give it. X

some kids just don't point much. And in everyday life at home, there may not be much need to point, especially if your child has good language and can talk about stuff instead of pointing.

activities you can do together to encourage pointing include

• read books together. with a familiar book, you can say 'wheres the dog?' and see if child points to the dog
• visit museums / farm parks / places to see stuff. anywhere that gives you the chance to point and gives baby a chance to point.

and most importantly, don't obsess over it. your baby sounds great.

That's a huge list of positives – she sounds like a very engaged and interactive little girl. If she's recently started consistently looking at what you're pointing at, I'd guess pointing herself isn't too far behind (and as a previous poster said, 3 months is ages yet).

The reaching for something and then looking to you is also very positive. It obviously isn't pointing, exactly, but she's clearly communicating 'I want this, can you help me get it?' and looking to you to see if you've understood what she's asking.

@parietal

some kids just don't point much. And in everyday life at home, there may not be much need to point, especially if your child has good language and can talk about stuff instead of pointing.

activities you can do together to encourage pointing include

• read books together. with a familiar book, you can say 'wheres the dog?' and see if child points to the dog
• visit museums / farm parks / places to see stuff. anywhere that gives you the chance to point and gives baby a chance to point.

and most importantly, don't obsess over it. your baby sounds great.

Thanks so much for the kind words and tips. I will do them. It's so hard to not stress because it's meant to be important to happen by a certain age etc

Thanks again x

@skkyelark

That's a huge list of positives – she sounds like a very engaged and interactive little girl. If she's recently started consistently looking at what you're pointing at, I'd guess pointing herself isn't too far behind (and as a previous poster said, 3 months is ages yet).

The reaching for something and then looking to you is also very positive. It obviously isn't pointing, exactly, but she's clearly communicating 'I want this, can you help me get it?' and looking to you to see if you've understood what she's asking.

Hi. Thanks for your post. Yes she recently is very good at following a point. I will quickly point at something and pull my hand away and she's continually looking at what I pointed at for eg.

Last month or so. And much more joint attention too. Even DH has told me he's noticed this. There has been big changes from 12 months which was 3 months ago. So maybe she will make big changes by 18m.

I hope so anyway! Secretly petrified. But hoping for the best.

She has

Sorry this is causing you so much stress. Not pointing can be a red flag, I guess it’s ASD you’ve been seeing it as a red flag for - but with all the other social communication skills she does have, I really wouldn’t worry too much. It sounds like you’re spending a lot of time analysing if she’s doing what she should - but, if you can, do try not focus on the one or two things that don’t fit with expected milestones for now - in my experience there’s often something you could pick out! (Two DDs and ASD specialist by profession).

My DS didn’t point at all till 16 months. I was worried but my DH wasn’t at all. Paediatrician in the family not worried at all either, due to the kinds of things you’re talking about - overall expressiveness and interaction.

All the social/communication bits he has been behind his peers but very strong on all the physical stuff. He is 3 now, chattering away. He’s also pretty ahead (I believe) in some areas, started identifying numbers and letters around 18 months, can count in the 100s and so I think it might just be he’s weak I’m some areas, strong in others, and overall wonderful.

From the overall picture you provide she sounds lovely. Keep looking into it though, HVs can be crap but do flag soon if no change perhaps.

OP, I’m fairly sure pointing to request came first, then pointing to get me to look at things. He is almost two and he definitely does that now. But I can’t remember when he started doing either, which is terrible (total second child syndrome ).

What I would say is that we suspect our older DC has ASD. I had concerns from around 18 months but none related to pointing - and your little girl doesn’t tick any of the red flags as far as I can see. So honestly, I would just enjoy her and keep an eye on it.

Out of interest, does she go to a childcare setting? If so, you could ask the staff there. Being around other children sometimes makes children pick up new skills more quickly - my younger DC has certainly done most things earlier than DC1 but I’m fairly convinced DC2 is neurotypical as well as having DC1 as a role model.

@monkeyted

Sorry this is causing you so much stress. Not pointing can be a red flag, I guess it’s ASD you’ve been seeing it as a red flag for - but with all the other social communication skills she does have, I really wouldn’t worry too much. It sounds like you’re spending a lot of time analysing if she’s doing what she should - but, if you can, do try not focus on the one or two things that don’t fit with expected milestones for now - in my experience there’s often something you could pick out! (Two DDs and ASD specialist by profession).

Hi for your post it's helped me as your a professional in the field of ASD and gave experience with your own LOs.

I do tend to analyse a lot and it's getting me down for sure.

Thanks so much for your reassuring comments. I hope it does happen soon

I know how some kids won't do every milestone etc but everyone says pointing is the one that has to be there I guess . So completely freaked me out

@pjani

My DS didn’t point at all till 16 months. I was worried but my DH wasn’t at all. Paediatrician in the family not worried at all either, due to the kinds of things you’re talking about - overall expressiveness and interaction.

All the social/communication bits he has been behind his peers but very strong on all the physical stuff. He is 3 now, chattering away. He’s also pretty ahead (I believe) in some areas, started identifying numbers and letters around 18 months, can count in the 100s and so I think it might just be he’s weak I’m some areas, strong in others, and overall wonderful.

From the overall picture you provide she sounds lovely. Keep looking into it though, HVs can be crap but do flag soon if no change perhaps.

Hi! Thanks for your post. It's helped! Also some kids are better in areas and others are in different ones My LO was a bit quicker the average in physical milestones For eg But bit later the average on Language. I guess if she was pointing I wouldn't be so worried I'm happy to hear your little one is doing so well. Guess 16 months is Normal to for pointing xx

He's fine now, language exploded within the space of a few weeks, nursery are happy with his progress. He was "slow" to walk as well, didn't walk until 14 months but he's growing at his own pace and thars fine by me

@MyCatHatesWhiskas

OP, I’m fairly sure pointing to request came first, then pointing to get me to look at things. He is almost two and he definitely does that now. But I can’t remember when he started doing either, which is terrible (total second child syndrome ).

What I would say is that we suspect our older DC has ASD. I had concerns from around 18 months but none related to pointing - and your little girl doesn’t tick any of the red flags as far as I can see. So honestly, I would just enjoy her and keep an eye on it.

Out of interest, does she go to a childcare setting? If so, you could ask the staff there. Being around other children sometimes makes children pick up new skills more quickly - my younger DC has certainly done most things earlier than DC1 but I’m fairly convinced DC2 is neurotypical as well as having DC1 as a role model.

If pointing to request comes first I'll keep eye on this first too. Also thanks it makes me feel better that she hasn't got other signs. It's just when people talk about pointing it sounds massive and freaks me out. I will keep eye on it.

No she doesn't go anywhere else for childcare
Me and DH are now home workers since pandemic and she was born in the middle of it and spends most of her time at home.
She's fine around others but gets grumpy if others pick her up unless they give her something and then she's their friend haha
She better around other kids in our family. She's joy playing with them yet but will watch them and snatch things from them if she wants it and climb on top of them sometimes playfully

She's the closest to me though. Always looks for me in a room and wants to be near me constantly. She's my heart. She really is...

@MyCatHatesWhiskas

OP, I’m fairly sure pointing to request came first, then pointing to get me to look at things. He is almost two and he definitely does that now. But I can’t remember when he started doing either, which is terrible (total second child syndrome ).

What I would say is that we suspect our older DC has ASD. I had concerns from around 18 months but none related to pointing - and your little girl doesn’t tick any of the red flags as far as I can see. So honestly, I would just enjoy her and keep an eye on it.

Out of interest, does she go to a childcare setting? If so, you could ask the staff there. Being around other children sometimes makes children pick up new skills more quickly - my younger DC has certainly done most things earlier than DC1 but I’m fairly convinced DC2 is neurotypical as well as having DC1 as a role model.

Doesn't play with them yet *

@Orangetractor

He's fine now, language exploded within the space of a few weeks, nursery are happy with his progress. He was "slow" to walk as well, didn't walk until 14 months but he's growing at his own pace and thars fine by me

Thanks for letting me know. Glad he doing well. It's reassuring to hear x

My DD didn't point for ages, still doesn't point much, and she is the brightest little thing imaginable. Try not to worry x

Sounds like my DD!
Very physical, early roller/crawler and walking very confidently by 11 months. Has only just started to point at 15m, not interested in speaking too much. Can copy some sounds very rarely, says mama/daddy dad dada and star, but doesn't seem too interested in trying to speak more, loves stories though.

I'm not too worried, I may be if there are no more proper words by 18months.