Can't cope with newborn, advice please!

[Frazzled37]

Hi,

I'm really struggling and not coping well with my 6 week old at all. After the first few days he just stopped really letting us put him down for naps or at night, and has got progressively worse. He also takes so long to settle that he is constantly overtired.

I had to get a sling a couple of weeks ago to help him catch up on sleep, but I don't like to use it all the time. DH has started to take LO in the sling between 8-11pm so I can have a bath and nap. If he doesn't have him in the sling I am lucky to get between 1-3 hours of broken sleep a night, and no sleep in the day. I am so exhausted and sad that my LO looks tired all the time that I just cry most of the time now.

I have tried all the tips (swaddling, white noise, drowsy but awake etc) and try to put him down before he's overtired. However he feeds for nearly an hour so is overtired after a nappy change and feed! He has ended up awake for over 5 hours straight on occasion! I am constantly obsessing over trying to get him to sleep which is just stressing me out so much. When I do settle him he'll wake after 1 sleep cycle. Pushchair and car seat no longer even work to get him to sleep either.

Sorry for long post but I just feel I am doing such a bad job. I still have to use nipple sheilds too as both too tired and frustrated to try to wean him off, so I feel bad about that too. Please tell me it gets easier!!!

@Thinkbiglittleone I just feel it can't be good for him being squished up all day and half the night. I also can't sleep or do anything having him attached to me all the time!

@Fallagain I'm too scared to try co sleeping to be honest. I'd probably be too paranoid to actually sleep.

[quote Frazzled37]@Thinkbiglittleone I just feel it can't be good for him being squished up all day and half the night. I also can't sleep or do anything having him attached to me all the time!

@Fallagain I'm too scared to try co sleeping to be honest. I'd probably be too paranoid to actually sleep.[/quote]
I understand that. I didn’t cosleep with my oldest until she was 6 months because I was too scared of SIDS as she was ff but it’s a game changer. If you don’t mind I will send some links about cosleeping later. I think every parent should read up on cosleeping and be prepared just in case because it’s often unplanned cosleeping when you do it at in the morning which is unsafe. I’m not saying you have to do but it’s good to be aware how to do it safely just in case you do.

I hated the newborn stage. I hated being tired and exhausted for seemed like every minute of every day.

Was going to suggest looking in to silent reflux and/or cranial osteopathy.

It gets so much easier. Hang in there

@Fallagain I'd appreciate the links, thank you! 😊

PFB didn’t Co sleep. It was a sleepless nightmare.

Dd2- co slept. Much better all round. I felt much more relaxed and confident to do it.

This is designed for health professionals and the data is from 2017 but its worth reading
www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

Safe cosleeping guide
www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/
In don’t think it mentions that baby shouldn’t be next to a wall or a bedguard

Durham university have been studying ‘normal’ sleep. They are the ones who suggested the ‘c’ sleeping shape but it also has lots of reassuring data on the fact that human babies just don’t sleep well.
www.basisonline.org.uk/sleep-health-safety/

Its also worth trying to get your baby in daylight as much a possible this can include through a window.

If you do cosleep and find its not comfortable on your back then you can try frequently swapping which side of your body you are laying in and put a pillow between your knees and behind your lower back.

The new born stage is about survival.

It might sound a bit strange but could your partner/sister/mum sit in bed and keep an eye on you and baby while you cosleep? My ex would sit in bed and watch tv/play on his phone and keep an eye on us both while we got some sleep - obviously not all night but for naps. I’d feed her side lying and it was brilliant!

Thank you @Fallagain, and good idea @Thrivingnotsurviving. My husband is off for Christmas soon so I can try this then. At the moment LO only does one 2 hour stint in the night, and is awake pretty much the rest of the night with the odd 30 min nap after over an hour of settling, it's unbearable! I'm not even sure he'll like co sleeping though as he normally has to actually be on me to sleep, is being next to me enough?!

It’s worth a go! Have you tried side lying feeding? If you can get the hang of that LO can feed while you sleep and should be very happy! You can look up the ‘safe C’ position for cosleeping which is safe and should be cozy for you and little one