To ask how much of an age gap is to much

[TheHopefulMum]

Hi All,

DH and I have two DC's a DS aged 8 and a DD aged 6. After having DD I think we both came to the assumption that we were done as we had one of each and we never discussed having any more children.

Fast forward to a few months ago and the discussion somehow came up about having another baby. We both agreed that we would like another DC and have had several discussions since about childcare and how this would affect our family, and my main concern is the age gap and how this could affect our two DC's.

Does anyone have DC's with large age gaps. We have discussed this with our DC's and neither of them seem at all concerned about having a baby but I just wanted some advice from other parents that may have experience with larger age gaps.

Get a dog - or a cat.

I really think you'll upset the balance of the kids you have now and for what?

Genuinely think people only do this if it's a. a mistake or b. they like the fuss having a new baby brings.

A puppy would do the same thing!

I think @U8976532 is so right, you can't consult your older children about this, it's far too much of a responsibility that only you and your DH should shoulder. And when the baby comes, they need to be able to say how they feel about it, but might not be able to if they previously said Yes.

I also had a (single) mum who consulted me and my sister on everything when we were far too young, including asking my older sister's opinion about parenting decisions about me... it isn't right or fair on the youngest child.

My brother is 9 years younger than me and 7 years younger than my sister. My sister and I (we didn't get on) had to share a room till we moved house - that was awful. We also stopped having holidays that involved hotels for a bit and that was disappointing. However then my dad got a much higher paid job and we had a bigger house and lots of money for holidays and other opportunities even with there being 3 kids. My brother was a difficult toddler but I found him to be adorable and have always got on well with him. He made our house more fun. He's now a good friend and a great help with my parents.

I have a 6 year gap between my two and they get on well. I don't think I'll have a third mainly as we wouldn't have enough money or time. My parents had the money for 3 and my mum had time as she didn't work much.

Ours are almost 16, almost 11, 9, 6 (twins) and 4mth.

All the big ones absolutely adore their baby sister. I think the only issue with larger gaps is family activities, not easy finding things to please all but you can get that with small age gaps too.