Survival tips - 3 year old and newborn

[Panda368]

Tomorrow is my first day flying solo with my 3 year old and nearly 3 week old.
3 year old can be strong willed but generally ok - although he’s a nightmare to get out the door.

New baby is getting more fussy by the day but does sleep lots in the day, when he is awake he is either screaming or feeding though which is getting stressful.

I’m shattered from a few shit nights of screaming baby - what can I do to survive tomorrow without resorting to paw patrol all day?

I’m dreading this. Any advise / tips?

Get up and out! Baby in sling- tire 3 year old at a softplay, where they can play, you can drink coffee/feed baby!

Good luck

Another one saying try to get up and get out and burn some energy from your 3 year old, I make lunch the night before and nothing wrong with some TV in the afternoon, you had a baby 3 weeks ago! Congratulations on your new arrival. Also a travel mug to keep your tea/coffee warm

Yup, the sling is your friend, at home and out. Baby can snuggle and snooze while you tire 3 yr old out on a walk or get some one on one time in with a play doh session or similar. Colouring and play doh are also great for when you’re feeding baby. A buggy board has also been a god send for me. Baby naps in buggy, 3 yr old potters along next to me in town or rides on the board when tired. I also do lots of chasing 3 yr old round the house when I can persuade baby to sleep in the rocker.
Accept that sometimes it will work really well and you will feel amazing and completely blessed with your two little people, and other times it will be a proper bloody shit show and you’ll feel like leaving home. Enjoy it when it’s good and when it’s bad remind yourself it’s just a few hours of your life and it will get easier.

Paw Patrol has its uses … this might be one.

Firstly, don’t feel guilty if you do need to resort to paw patrol.

I have a 2.5 year old and a 2 month old. The toddler is at nursery 3 days per week so I only have them both 2 days. I’m finding those days slightly easier but i do still dread them to be perfectly honest.

I think key things are to prepare the night before e.g. pack bags if you’re planning to go out, have everything downstairs that you might need so you don’t have to keep running up and down and leaving them alone together. Have easy things to hand for breakfast, lunch and snacks, my toddler and I have a graze bar for breakfast and shop bought pasta salad/sandwich for lunch. Get the baby into a sling so you can be hands free for the toddler. Go to toddler play groups/soft play where the older one can run riot and burn off some energy while you have a coffee and hold the baby. Pull in support from any family and friends who are not working. Load them both into the car and drive around until they fall asleep then get to a drive through and buy yourself a coffee and cake.

Basically, just lower your standards and do whatever you can to make it easier. Good luck!

I try to find parks that are gated so my toddler can run wild but can't escape as he can't open the gates himself. That way if baby needed fed I can sit on the bench while toddler plays. Though the baby usually just sleeps in the pram. Also ones that I can park right next to in case toddler needs carried away mid tantrum 😂

Soft play, toddler groups and play dates at friends’ houses was our saviour during this stage. Big one can run around independently while grown up has a coffee and feeds/rocks baby in a buggy (sadly mine don’t do inward facing slings without howling). DD1 was 2.9 when her sister was born, and we spent the first couple of months doing the above in the morning, then home for lunch and then afternoons spent either ‘helping’ me with housework/baby care or being allowed to watch an alarming amount of Paw Patrol.

DD2 is now 4 months and it’s much easier. Naps and feed times are more predictable so we can work around that, and being at home is less stressful as the little one is happily entertained watching the big one.

Free pre school hours from age 3 and grandparents are also a saviour!

Get to the bottom of why baby is screaming?!

I had a three year old and newborn fairly recently too (smallest is 3m now) and my standards were so low I was sliding over them by the end of the day 😂

• kinetic sand or play doh would keep older DD busy for ages
• failing this, midday baths on rainy days were a novelty and could kill about 40 mins especially with added duplo or anything that doesn’t normally go into the bath
• spray bottle with water and cloth to ‘clean’ surfaces with
• my absolute favourite - washable pens needed - draw pictures on mummy’s arms. This was when I was at my most desperate, kept her busy for 30 mins while I closed my eyes.
• telly is definitely your friend, especially when viewed through a basic tent fort.
• buffet style lunch - raisins, fruit, sandwich etc
• getting out and about is great but totally understandable that it is not always possible.

Good luck! You will have rough days but it definitely gets better!

Lower your expectations! Some days you might get out, do stuff, feel great. Other days you’ll sit staring at a peppa pig marathon in your pjs holding a cold cup of tea. Both are fine and anything in between xx

@Daisyv2

Get to the bottom of why baby is screaming?!

So helpful 👍🏽

@Daisyv2

Get to the bottom of why baby is screaming?!

Er.. I take it you’ve never had a baby? 😁

@Daisyv2

Get to the bottom of why baby is screaming?!

Are you serious?

If you know how to do that, you could make a fortune.

Congratulations on your new baby!

Do you think you want to go out or stay in?

Are there any playgroups still on near you?

Are you able to drive?

Don't know where you are but near me it's raining tomorrow but dry the rest of the week and not too cold. Could the park be an option? Especially if theres a cafe?

I've had various age gaps between 2 and 4 years. My tips would be get everything ready the night before if you can or the afternoon before if baby is unsettled in the evening eg as soon as you get home load up the changing bag again with anything you have used in that day.

Long life snacks for you and toddler are always good to keep in bag eg flapjack bar and carton of juice.

I used to keep a little.wetbag of spare clothes under the buggy and just replaced as needed.

I also find breaking the day down helps whether you are staying in our going out. Eg as a rough guide

7-9 might be breakfast, nappies, dressing etc

Aim to be somewhere by 10 so park, playgroup, soft play, library etc

Lunch out at a cafe or grab something on the way home from a shop and even better grab something for tea while you are there

Home after lunch hour or so of TV.

Then an afternoon activity eg playdough, kinetic sand, simple puzzles.

Will you toddler play independent at all while you get on with stuff?

Soon it will.be teatime.

Hope your day goes well op!

@Onehotmess

Lower your expectations! Some days you might get out, do stuff, feel great. Other days you’ll sit staring at a peppa pig marathon in your pjs holding a cold cup of tea. Both are fine and anything in between xx

Yes to all this!

Also, is your 3 year old at preschool?

Thanks for all the advise. I’ve had a slightly better night with the baby so I’m feeling a little more positive about today.

3 year old is at nursery 3 days a week so I only have to worry about Mondays and Thursdays with the 2 of them. First day of double mumming is daunting though.

I’m hoping to get outside somewhere today for the sake of my sanity so will attempt park or convincing toddler to help me take a parcel to the post office with the pram - I do drive but always feel guilty about driving really short distances but I think I will have to just suck it up for now.
I’ve been brave and booked him a trial at a toddler music class this morning to try and get us out at a reasonable time.

I don’t know why baby is crying so much. It’s probably reflux or colic or just being a not yet 3 week old baby… 🙄

How was your day @Panda368 what did you get up to? How are you feeling?

@Plantsandpuddlesuits we all survived! The morning was good as we got out to a toddler music thing so we were out of the house for a bit.
The afternoon was a bit patchy but baby has slept the whole afternoon so apart from a few feeds I’ve been able to put most effort into the grumpy 3 year old who woke up at 5.15. We have watched too much peppa pig and survived one epic screaming meltdown that was fixed by building a road network out of cardboard.

All in not the worst day!

Currently bracing for the baby’s witching hour(s) while dp does bedtime.

Well done @Panda368!

Great job OP! We have a 3 year gap & honestly, it’s a good gap I think. My 3 year old loved being helpful .. fetching the nappies & wipes and bringing toys or dancing for her sister etc! She was also at an age she’d finally sit still for a bit longer & watch TV! And honestly, we did watch a LOT of TV. But that’s OK! She was also more independent with playing alone, which was helpful & also mostly out of the toddler tantrums so wasn’t too bad to take out & about. Not that we could very far, DD2 was born in March 2020 🤦🏼‍♀️

Deffo found a baby carrier essential.

They are 4.5 & 20 months now & have a brilliant relationship. They play together really nicely. I mean they have their moments & bicker over toys but overall, they really love each other! ❤️