Party of schoolfriend, do I send Ds or not? Help with etiquette please!

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Received an invitation to a party of one of Ds's little reception friends.

I don't know who he is, who his mum is, etc. Not a clue.
Ds says he isn't really friends with him.
I don't know if the whole class is invited, it is in January.

There is a mobile number to ring for RSVP..obv I want to give her an answer soon but what do we do?

I won't be able to invite a lot of kids to Ds's birthday next May. Should I just take him anyway, despite not having the foggiest whose party it is?

TIA

Yes, you get used to it. If you take him, then you will then know the parents/child for next time. You can always stay with him if its at asoft play centre or similar. All as long as your ds does want to go I guess.

I don't think you need to think about who you can invite to your ds' party for whether to say yes or not. This child is probably either inviting all the class, in which case it will be nice for your ds to mix with all the children out of school or the child just likes your ds and wants him at the party!

Even if you don't accept the invite surely you should still invite the boy as he extended an invite to your ds. If he doesn't know the boy well this could be hs chance to change that.

Oh yes, take him - it is a lovely way to get to know the mums.

Ok, will do...thanks! God I am so not used to this lark!

Paula does that really mean I have to invite every child who invites ds to theirs?

I have no money, I couldn't afford to hire a place. They are hiring a church hall.

gosh, I never do whole class parties - some people do, but that's up to them.

can you tell by the venue if it's likely to be a big party? Probably is, if you and ds don't know them that well. Perfectly normal. Take ds if he wants but don't feel obliged to invite in return if ds is just having a small bash.

No you don't have to ask all the children back who invite your ds

some people have vast parties and that's their prerogative but it doesn't mean their child earns 50 invitations in return

Does DS want to go?

If so, I'd say yes and go. Good way to get to know other parents/children anyway.

Doesn't matter who you invite to your DS's party. I am sure most people don't invite children just to esure they get an invite to yours.

Does DS want to go?

If so, I'd say yes and go. Good way to get to know other parents/children anyway.

Doesn't matter who you invite to your DS's party. I am sure most people don't invite children just to esure they get an invite to yours.

Yes go. And no need to invite back people that have invited you if you are having a smaller party. I would also probably stay as your ds doesn't know the other adults, and make sure I told the mum I was planning to and would be happy to help with serving food etc.

Oh dear I really am not liking the sound of it now!
I find my own children tough going, let alone a roomful of other people's - that's why I avoid M&T groups.
I have a 6 month old, as well...it will be hard work to actually help unless he is asleep.
I am feeling very apprehensive about this!

But I know it's good for Ds1 to have a social life, despite his mother not having one...

Thankyou for all the suggestions by the way It is really helpful. Lots of things I hadn't thought of.

no need to help if you have a baby - i have taken a book because i'm not much of a socialite!

Oh Ok, I will do that.

Learning curve, isn't it? I guess we take a gift, don't we? I know it's a little boy. That's about it.

Yes, you take a gift. And once you've given that, you are under no obligation to invite the other boy back. My dcs have been to some of these mega-parties, but all we've ever done is small tea parties.

All the broody mums will LOVE your baby.

It doesn't matter what you buy - but I have noticed that some of the supermarkets have some good books, no-one will know where you bought it.

It will be worth it, though I agree that it is bloody hard.

Thankyou, I will steel myself, might even enjoy it...I do like children, just a hundred at once scares me a bit!

I really appreciate all your advice. I would be totally lost without you lot

There isn't a law or anything.