Sleep training

[Charlied82]

Hi all my baby is 7 months old and had a very rough start in life, horrific birth, bad silent reflux, colic etc he was held and carried around constantly, skip a few hellish months and we are finally out the other side, off the meds, feeding really well! The issue we are having is sleeping or lack off! He goes to bed between 7&8, dark room, bottle, baby massage (if its not bath nights) a wee song and into his cot awake, he is quite good at getting himself to sleep after that and will sleep soundly until around 12 and then for the rest of the night he could wake 1/2/3 times per hour just looking for his soother or a wee rub on the tummy or sometimes he wants fed (the feeding is fine with me as he is back down in 20 mins) i am contemplating trying the cry it out method or the ferber method but he gets himself into an awful state during the day if i dont go to him straight away and very nervous about doing this at night as i have 2 other kids! I am caught between is he having wind pains (started using detinox in a couple his bottles which helps with the wind) or seperation anxiety as he is a real wee mummys boy due to the constant carrying when he was born 🙈 He has 3 daytime naps at around 30-45 mins each and has a great routine during the day and has more than enough food to see him through the night! I am back to work next month and need to get nights sorted asap! Anyone else tried the sleep training in the middle of the night and been successful? How long did it take? I don't want judgement for the cry it out/ferber method, i dont want anyone telling me there is no harm in babies needing cuddled to sleep etc my kids do not lose out on affection and are very healthy well rounded kids, i just want my baby to sleep longer than 30 mins at a time at night 🙈

Before trying cio I would try night weaning. Is his soother a dummy? Could you clip it onto a lovey so that he is able to find and replace in the night himself?

He might only want a bottle 2 of the 7 nights, he is more waking looking for comfort! He is able to find his dummy no problem and is able to put it in his mouth but then throws it out the side of the cot just so we have to go to him. I sit a few dummys in with him and the majority of the time he is just too lazy to get it himself or knows if he doesn't we will 🙈 i gave in last night and took him in beside me because i was so exhausted and he slept soundly til 5am, fed and into his cot and slept til 8am, so have a feeling its seperation anxiety 😭 i cant have him in with me every night and dont want to create more problems doing so

Before trying Ferber or cry it out i suggest trying more gentle methods to see if that might work since he has separation anxiety . He will still cry but at least you will be able to comfort him and reassure him that you are there. Sleep lady shuffel is one that i am doing right now and i am getting really good results better than i did with cio or ferber . Mine is older (18 months) but i believe if i did it when he was younger it would have worked quicker . Good luck.

I would recommend the book "Precious little sleep" which is a super easy and quick read, and covers cio and other slower methods for all kinds of scenarios... Was really helpful for my daughter's sleep.

My DD was a terrible sleeper at that age, every 45 minutes, so I feel your pain. We didn't do cry it out, but I did do the pick up put down method at bed time, it was hard work at first. First night I was in her room for around 90 minutes doing pick up put down, by the fourth night it was 40 minutes and then by the end of the week we'd cracked it, made suck a difference to her night sleeping and she was able to be put in the cot semi awake after that and would self settle happily.

There is a reason you’ll get judgement. Sorry OP but it’s cruel. Yes your babies may get plenty love and effection during the day but that doesn’t mean they don’t need it overnight. Babies cry for a reason, just because they’re fed and changed they may still crave other things. They may be anxious, scared etc.
Babies don’t self soothe… they just learn that nobody is coming to help them and that’s really sad. And neglectful. Are there any sleep coaches in your area? Could you ask your HV to put you in touch with somebody?

OP please don't do it. Your baby waking is a biological norm and the suggestion above about night weaning at this age is premature.

Have you heard of Lyndsey Hookway? She is a sleep specialist, she has a couple of books, she is on Instagram and she has a page called Feed Sleep Bond on Facebook.

She has lots of suggestions which can help without leaving your baby to cry alone. The truth is the amount of waking is NORMAL, and as a parent there is no clocking off time. Have you considered going to bed early to get a decent sleep before baby starts waking at midnight? Have you considered having baby in your room again so it'a easier to soothe them?

It will pass and your child will grow out of this, but it's your responsibility (and your partners) as a parent to care to support your child until they learn. Sleep is developmental. Personally I want my child to cry if something is wrong so I know, so I can help. God forbid if she was in pain or something was wrong and she didn't think I would come.

@TiredEyes1991 firstly my children are far from neglected and for u to suggest such a thing without knowing someone is extremely judgemental something which i specifically stated i did not want in my post! I go to my baby everytime he crys i was looking for options for gentle ways to help with his sleep before trying the cio or ferber method! My baby is suffering with the lack of sleep at nights hence i reached out for some non judgemental support, clearly i came to the wrong place when people like you are coming in with comments claiming its neglect instead of scrolling on if nothing useful to say

I understand how hard it is. I’m living it now.

Waking 1-3 times every hour after 12 is torture. And you have other children. And are going back to work. You have a lot on your plate.

You said when he is next to you he slept better. So he wants comfort.
You yourself said he had a very rough start in life. And he is only 7months old.

Could you not cosleep for a while?

@RedRobyn2021 baby is still in with us as i won't move him to his own room until he is sleeping through, will def have a look at the sleep trainer u mentioned thank you, i am fully aware parenting has no clocking off time it would just be more beneficial for all involved if these particular parents and baby were not as sleep deprived! In the last few days we have introduced a more manageable bedtime routine and seem to be making a little progress (baby steps) my other 2 slept through from 5 and 7 weeks so this is a complete shock to the system, whoever said u will have parenting mastered by the 3rd is a liar cuz this little bundle we have has proven he is completely different than his siblings lol

@Thinking2041 co sleeping isn't an option for us as i don't normally find it a safe method for babies sleeping not to mention the issues it can cause when moving into a different room i was just desperate for some sleep that particular night, thank you for replying though 😁

As she sleeps from 7pm to 11pm it sounds like she can link her sleep cycles and self settle which is often why people have to sleep train.

Could you try some longer naps during the day? Counter intuitive- but seems to work!
1.5 hours to 2 hours daytime for a 7 month old seems quite light, try a short first nap and longer second one of 2-3 sleep cycles (1 - 2.5 hours)
It may be that you then stretch it out and drop the third nap.

Otherwise - the leave for 2 mins, 4 mins, 6 mins etc does seem to work for a lot of people.

Good luck!!

@Charlied82

I know exactly what you mean, my daughter was waking all through the night countless times and I was really suffering. You're so lucky you had two that slept like that!! I hope my next one does

I was so against sleep training but actually severe lack of sleep is so unhealthy and dangerous for you all. As pp mentioned give ‘precious little sleep’ a read. It’s working for us and there are lots of different methods depending on what might work for you. Hopefully you all start getting more sleep soon 🤞🏻