When will the sleepless he'll end?

[Mimba1]

DS is 8 months and has never slept past 5am. Not one single day. Factor in a difficult pregnancy and I haven't had a good night's sleep in over a year. Currently sitting in the dark in my kitchen while DS kicks, bites and pinches me trying to keep him quiet until 0730 when DH will take him and I can go back to bed for a couple of hours. Been here since 0430. Like every single naffing day for the last week. Actually if the clock says 4 when he kicks off that's a good day. I'm often up from 3am. Sometimes 2. Nothing will settle him - he just naps for 20-30 minutes at a time until we eventually let him get up. I'm at my wits end - today I told DS I wish we'd never had him. I just feel awful and it's all because of lack of sleep. When will things get better?

Oh it is so hard when you feel like you are constantly exhausted - 8m is SO young, in a few months things might be a great deal better, or they will at least be different - this will just be a phase you have to get through. Both mine naturally started mostly sleeping through around 10 months so hopefully your Ds will be the same. Can DH do early tomorrow if you are feeling like this today? Can you go to bed early if you know you will be up early (so boring I know). It sounds like you are in need of some looking after yourself so you are able to find the patience for DS - can you so something relaxing or fun today to make things seem more positive? Hope 7:30 rolls around quickly for you!

Get a sleep consultant - honestly it changed my life. We had multiple wakings until 9 months. She wrote a new routine and slept through in two nights. It wasn't cry it out. There were tears involved but we always provided comfort / reassurance. What you are going through is hellish.

This won't help and is light hearted but you won't get any sleep when DC are teenagers either. Or even when they've left home! Mine have flown the nest but I still toss and turn all night when they share their worries.

DD was like this, didn't sleep well till down to one nap and walking well at after 1. It was very hard going. We sleep trained to teach her to go to sleep by herself at about 1 and that helped a bit but she still loves an early start.

Hi, OP

What time is your little one's official bedtime? Does he nap during the day? Is he teething?

Mine was such an early waker at that age too. He did eventually grow out of it. I can’t remember exactly when but he’s now 12m and for the last few weeks he has tended to sleep til at least 6am.

Hang in there. It is so, so hard

Mine is 3 and still doesn't sleep through the night without waking up, although it's easier to deal with now.
It will get easier and you do get used to sleeping less. As PPs have said 8m is so young, the baby will change again once they are on solids full time. My first was an early walker at 10 months and was a fabulous sleeper, my second walked at 13 months but was a terrible sleeper until 2, so I share your pain, I was on the brink.
The sleep consultant idea is quite a good shout, I don't know if @redo18 has any suggestions? I'm pregnant with number 3 and need as much help as I can get

What time is DC going to bed? Are you getting any chunks of time asleep at all?

Yanbu to want him to sleep (I'd get a sleep consultant or sleep train). But yabu to think a toddler should reliably sleep till 7.30. My rising 5 is a good sleeper, always has been, but I can count on one hand the times he has slept past 7. Many young children are natural larks and will rise at dawn regardless of when you put them to bed.

@DeepaBeesKit he goes to bed at 1830. He usually wakes up once or twice between 9pm and 2am and either settles himself or we settle him if he doesn't after 5 mins or so/ beside himself. The problem is that any waking after 2am and he won't settle again. I'll spend 30 mins getting him to sleep and he'll do one sleep cycle and wake again after 30 mins. We're in that pattern then however many times it takes until 6am - at that point I turn on the lights, say "good morning" and change nappy, get him dressed etc, read some books, do breakfast. I don't expect him to sleep until 0730, that's just when I can go back to bed because DH is getting up. I'm lucky I get that - I know a lot of mums don't.

@Asi1 he is definitely teething - but he's always teething! They seem to come through one at a time roughly 3 weeks apart. It could be that. If it is I've got a long road ahead of me! Nap times are not great. He has a nap about 90 mins - 2hrs after our artifical "morning". Always lasts 30 minutes. Another one around 1130 and then one or two naps in the afternoon depending how tired he is. I've done everything I can think of to try to get him to nap more than 35 minutes but he doesn't - even in the car he wakes up after 35 minutes and if I keep driving he either looks out the window for the next 20 minutes or starts to cry. The odd day where I've managed to squeeze in 5x30 minute naps (thinking he needs more daytime sleep) have been the worst nights where he's woken up before 3am. It's hard anyway - he has 3 solid meals a day and still wants 5 bottles. Fitting in 8 feeds and 3 naps is already a lot! I tried cutting down bottles because HV told me to but he just cried. He's 11.6kg and 75cm (measured last week) so I'm not entirely surprised he's eating more than they recommend.

Maybe a sleep consultant is a good idea!

@redo18 who do you recommend for a sleep consultant?

6:30pm until 5am is 10.5 hours - that is about standard for babies of that age. Try putting him to bed later. It is a myth that they should be sleeping for 12 hours.

Have a look at Lyndsey Hookway's stuff, she's very good and evidence based. For example this (it's a video sorry)

www.instagram.com/p/CDcAUyPgiXD/

Try https://instagram.com/sleepytimesleep?utmmedium=copyy_link

Not one of the ones with huge followings and affordable.

She does free 15 minute sleep consultations so you can get a feel for them

Oh OP, I really feel for you. It's a dark place, I know it well, been there :( My only suggestion would be to try and put him to bed later. My DS used to go to bed around 8pm at that age and I often went to bed with him and had a solid 5 hrs in one stretch which massively helped (I couldn't have done that at 6.30pm as that's when we were having dinner).

I second @BertieBotts seems very early for a bedtime. I would do bath around 7/7.30 so that they are down to sleep from 7.30-8ish.

My LO at that age went to bed nearer 8pm and then slept until 7/8am. 6.30pm is very early for bedtime and he's therefore had a full nights sleep by the time 5am rolls round.

Also look at his daytime sleep. If he's sleeping a lot in the day, then he will need less at night and therefore be up earlier.

How much day time sleep does he get?

Your baby is getting plenty of sleep and is doing nothing wrong. You will have to slowly move his bed time back a bit or go to bed early yourself.
I sympathise because being up for hours and n the dark keeping quiet is a bit miserable. Psychologically I used to find before 6 am felt like the night although I adapted over the years and , particularly in the summer, don't really mind 5-5.30 now.

Cut to two naps. You may find day sleep consolidates when you do. Sounds counterintuitive but often works.

You need to push first nap back quite a bit. Aim for around 3 hours after your desired wake up time, NOT actual wake up time. So if you're happy with 6:00am, first nap should start around 9:00am. If this first wake window is too short, your LO will figure out they can continue to wake early as they'll soon have an opportunity to catch up on sleep, so try and stick to it.

Push bedtime back to 7-7:30pm.

Also, white noise and a dark environment always helped mine.

You will get through this x

I think he's going to bed too early.
My 11 months old usually falls asleep somewhere between 8-10pm, and wakes up at around 6:40-8am, which also isn't great, but at least it's not 5am.

I think 6.30 is far too early to be going to bed for the night. My Sil put my niece to bed at this time and was quite rigid with it, she was up religiously at 5am every morning…. My other Sil puts to bed about 830 wee on sleeps till at least 7. No sleep is awful, hope you crack it soon x