Making life easier for a new mum

[Scribbinge]

Hi folks,

We're expecting our first in the new year and I imagine we're about to be buried under Christmas gifts for the baby from our super excited family.

Whilst thats great, I do still want to make sure my wife isn't forgotten about as her own person and get her something nice this year that will make her life easier as a new mum but I have no idea where to start (besides the simple gesture of putting in work so she can get some me time!).

It's really easy to find stuff for the baby but I'm interested to hear from mums if there was anything you had or received as a new parent that was a godsend for YOU not your child, whether it be some tech, a luxury or some other creature comfort that helped you get by, find more time for yourself or simply made you happy!

Thanks

@PotteringAlong

I do still want to make sure my wife isn't forgotten about as her own person and get her something nice this year that will make her life easier as a new mum

That’s a completely contradictory statement. I want to make sure she’s not going to be forgotten as her own person but I’ll buy her mum presents. I’m with @Thegreencup. Nope.

Oh ffs. Just let the man do something nice for his partner. 🙄

I found Amazon Echo aka Alexa invaluable in our DC's room. It meant I could listen to the news or the radio, play a lullaby or set an alarm if I needed to without having to put the baby down.

A good quality silk eye mask could also be useful for naps. Sleep was the #1 thing I wanted in the newborn days, I'm not sure I would have wanted to get my hair or nails done particularly.

An insulated mug for hot drinks
Sports bottle for cold drinks
Luxury hand cream
Ear plugs for when you do the night shift
A voucher for an antenatal (or postnatal) massage

That’s a completely contradictory statement. I want to make sure she’s not going to be forgotten as her own person but I’ll buy her mum presents.
100% this.

She won’t need the bloody insulated mug or posh PJs to swan about in if you take the baby every morning for long for her to have a proper shower, put on some real clothes and drink her coffee whilst it’s still hot.

I wouldn't say a godsend but i really enjoyed a candle from 'babyblooms'... they are safe to have lit as they are made from natural ingredients...other than that, i enjoyed tucking into a box of chocs at 3am when sat rocking the baby half asleep watching tv lol...

We are also expecting our first in the new year. I have asked my mum for vouchers to buy clothes after baby is born as I'm anticipating needing different sizes etc.

I was pregnant last Christmas and my partner got me a lovely ugg dressing gown and slippers, some wireless beats headphones and an IOU for my first 6 months gym membership once I was ready to go back because he knew I'd want to go and he knew I wouldn't be willing to pay for it while I was on maternity.

I second the PP who said an Audible subscription and some good wireless headphones if she doesnt already have them. I did a lot of walking with a pram on cold windy winter days when my baby was tiny and having an audiobook made it actually something to look forward to! Also feel like it helped my brain not turn into mush with sleep deprivation!

Some fancy body lotion moisturiser, a good one within your budget that smells lovely to make her feel pampered after a nice bath. Bath bombs, salts, nice candle, face mask for said bath.

I appreciated a chillys bottle for night feeds as was constantly thirsty and wanted cold water in the middle of the night. Also a boot camp membership but not everyone might appreciate that! Gift vouchers for a spa day or massage when she's up to it. Maybe a subscription to Netflix, sky, Amazon etc for some info tv watching if you don't have one already

Just had a birthday (due January) and my DP got me a kindle paper white as my old faithful kindle didn’t have one and I’m hoping to read during night feeds etc.

For Christmas I’ve asked for some decent Maternity/nursing pyjamas as I predict a lot of time in them!

Other than the kindle I don’t want things for me at the mo. I am in complete nesting mode and sorting everything for the baby and anything that will help that is what I want. I’ve asked family for a new two part washing basket… these are not things I’ve wanted before but ALL I want now 🙈

Big fluffy mittens that attach to the pram to keep hands warm when out walking.

A phone holder for the pram, or accessories holder with space for a coffee cup, phone etc. always found that handy when out and about

Wireless headphones and an audible membership
Insulated mug with very secure lid (don't want to spill hot tea on baby)
Long phone charger cable
I'd of liked dh to buy me a mummy mug

God there are some miserable replies on here to a guy clearly just wanting to do something nice for his wife. Whatever you get her I’m sure she’ll appreciate the thought you’ve put into it, but things I really appreciated were a Kindle my husband bought me with a backlight so I could read during the night feeds (reflux baby needed holding upright for half an hour after each feed so I was awake in the dark a lot - so was he, we split the nights). An Audible subscription is also a good idea, I’ve enjoyed listening to books while walking with the pram. Hair / beauty vouchers are a lovely idea as would vouchers for new clothes. Best you can do is just be there and support her and be an equal partner as others have said, from coming here and posting this I can tell that’s exactly what you intend to do. Good luck to you both and congratulations!

Space to be left alone to nurse my baby and not have made to feel like i had to host guests.

@PotteringAlong not sure what you find contradictory about that. Everyones going to be buying us baby clothes toys etc I want to make sure that whilst she's stuck at home nursing she feels cared for. There've been loads of other constructive suggestions from others, but thanks for your input anyway

I longed for one of those hideous old people's home looking nursing chairs you get in John Lewis. Remember being in the shops with my aching upper back and sandpaper eyes, caressing the cushions and not daring to sit in it because I knew I'd have to get out again!

Best thing I bought for myself was a snuggler arm chair
So roomy for feeding at night, I used to snuggle in and watch the tv

Best thing the dad did was do the dream feed at 10 change nappy etc and I'd be in bed with ear plugs by 9pm
Bliss of 6 hours sleep 💤

Thinking back all I wanted was a night on my own in a hotel so I could sleep for 12 hours straight 🤣

@Scribbinge I find it contradictory because you say you don’t want her to be forgotten but then say you want to buy her presents as a new mum. And, whilst she is a new mum, she is still her own person and that identity hasn’t been erased. Making sure she’s cared for isn’t a Christmas job, it’s a job for life. So, if she needs an insulated coffee mug buy her the mug, but don’t buy it for her for Christmas.

I was bought a voucher for a massage which went unused. I wouldn't assume anything that involves separation from baby, she might well not want to leave the baby for any length of time. Or she might want to buy not be able to due to feeding as expressing and giving a bottle isn't a given. Plus while some may find expressing not a chore and geek out gives them a break, for others leaving EBM for a break just isn't a break, you need to do extra work expressing then while you are away from your baby you need to express when you'd normally feed them because your breasts will be full and uncomfortable.

I liked my kindle with a new baby as I could increase the text size to be able to read it while rocking, it is easier to read with 1 hand than a paper book and you can stick it down and not worry about losing the page. I'm usually very much a paper book person and now the kids are older I couldn't even tell you where my kindle was but it was great for the baby days.

I do also agree with Pottering, she will still be herself, but on the other hand it can feel bloody miserable to be given things associated with a hobby or passtime that you won't be able to do for ages.

@PotteringAlong
Well, you're not wrong but you're also missing my point I think. I'm not asking for recommendations of things she needs I'm looking for things she might want. For example people saying she might not be able to read whilst feeding was really helpful; my wife loves to read and I'd never have thought that she might struggle to do it whilst feeding, so the suggestions about audible are really good and thoughtful. Not saying I'm going to get her a "best mum" mug and call it a day haha.

@ponkydonkey
Haha we have one of those and I'm sure it will see heavy use! I am generally kind of nocturnal so I'm hoping our usual sleep schedules carry on as they are and I'll take the late shift so she can stay in bed!

If she’s likes getting her nails done or a massage a gift vouchers to a local spa was one of the best presents I got. Forced me to have some me time when baby was round 5-6 months and it was lovely

I'd also say that when I had my first I felt some pressure to get back to being 'me' but couldn't because of the baby... And wondered if I was doing it wrong because should I be able to? Of course the answer was no and if I could go back that's the thing I'd change; not worrying about trying to cope and just go with it. So things that allow her to concentrate on the baby and make it comfortable to do so are good.

Honestly I don't think it's going to be presents that do it from you, but I think it's nice you're asking.

I would be cautious about hair and nails - I don't find it relaxing or fun to have those things done. I never get my nails done and would see a gift like that as judgement rather than nice

@ThePlantsitter
Yeah I think you're completely right, and I imagine it's futile trying to fight the fact that being a parent defines your life to some extent! I think anything I can do I should do if that makes sense. Even if the gesture is inconsequential and ineffective I think she'll just appreciate the effort. We're both a little apprehensive at the moment and Christmas will be the calm before the storm for us so I just want to get her something that she can enjoy and take some of the edge off the imminent storm of emotions coming to us!