Awful night with 5 week old Newborn

[TobiGus]

Hi FTM here. My partner went back to work this week. I was actually dreading being left on my own and how I would cope but I've had some nice days with my DD even though it's tiring. I feel like I'm only just starting to enjoy things at times have spent the last 5 weeks with bad baby blues and anxiety. Yesterday was a really good day although she doesn't sleep for long and I'm still tired I enjoyed it because I could do a bit around the house and have a shower which felt like an achievement.

Then in the night she just started screaming and wouldn't settle or sleep. She seemed ravenous as well and wanted to feed more or less straightaway after the last feed ended. I'm combi feeding and couldn't keep up with preparing the bottles. It was the worst night I'd had since the first week when she came home and she was similarly inconsolable then. It made me so miserable again and was thinking of why she was doing it and blaming myself.
Is she going through a growth spurt right now and has anyone else experienced similar?

Just looking for a friendly word from someone going through/ who has gone through the same thing. This is so lonely at times

The first 6 weeks with a newborn are particularly tough! Cluster feeding is to provoke a higher breast feeding supply, it's not fun while this is happening but it has a purpose..she is hungry and doing all the right things to get you to feed her. Crying is her only way to communicate that. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.
Can you chat with your HV for some real life reassurance?

Congratulations!

Adjusting to life with a baby is A LOT. And the loneliness plays a big pwrt. Sounds like you're doing really well; showering and a bit of housework is definitely an achievement.

Your night sounds perfectly normal (unfortunately!). Their sleep is so unpredictable. Remember two things:

1. Sleep progression isn't linear. It's up, it's down. Sometimes it appears to be getting better, sometimes it appears to be getting worse. But on the whole, they do gradually get there.
2. Everything is a phase. Don't panic. Don't dramatically make changes.

Lyndsey Hookway is a really good person to follow.

Just see if you can adjust your day according to whatever kind of night you've had.

I'd personally recommend baby groups too. Some people hate them. I'm a total introvert, but I even got something out of them.

I found weeks 4-10ish the worst. They seem to be in a near constant state of growth spurt/developmental leap/unsettled behaviour and the overnight cluster feeding (which it sounds like you are describing) is lethal. It’s doubly hard that you are suddenly on your own for a lot of time, with nothing but your own thoughts.

I’d avoid asking ‘why’ about the behaviour and just rolling with it. It is 100% nothing you have done wrong - at this age their behaviour changes daily, if not hourly. I found it pretty unpredictable and searching for answers didn’t really change anything, just caused me lots of stress.

Do you have good support in real life? Newborns can easily become all consuming - having other people around to keep you grounded is really important. Also, if you are combi feeding, does your DH help overnight?

Welcome to parenting. Sounds totally normal with a newborn even up to 18 months you’ll have some horrendous nights. You get used to erratic sleep eventually! Swaddles, white noise and dummies help

5 week old baby here (nearly 6 weeks) and we have the exact same night last night. She wouldn’t settle, constantly feeding, every time I put her down she’s be up 30/40mins later. Think I’ve had about an hours sleep all night.
I just kept thinking she’s not doing this on purpose she’s doing it cause she’s in pain or hungry or just wants me.
It’s a killer the lack of sleep though! I hope for a better night tonight.
Hope you got some sleep!