Eldest child feeling left out after arrival of new baby

[Naz2009]

Hi Mums, I had a baby 6 days ago, been home for only 4 days with NB. My eldest is 5 and a half and tonight during bedtime she was looking very sad. At first she refused to speak finally she opened up. Clearly very upset about the matter, as she was trying her very best not to cry.
She said "it's like you and daddy love the baby more" We had a good long chat, I explained to her, how baby needs more of my time and I was the same with her when she was a baby.
She said "it feels like you're my step mum"
That's got to me!. I don't want my little girl to feel such hurt.
I try my best to keep things as they was pre-baby. We have special bonding time during bedtime and I'm make sure that I still stick to this.
What advice do you have for me.

I think building the relationship between big sister and the baby is a good way to manage this.

Make sure to big her up when people are coming to see the baby or when you're out and about. Say things like "Yes, she's an amazing big sister! She's so wonderful with the baby...so gentle and the baby seems to prefer her!"

And plant that seed in her head...that the baby likes her best.

I always remember taking DD1 out for a walk with her brand new sister and DD was about 3 and a woman stopped to look at the baby but she just glanced in the pram and said "Oh a new baby...and THIS must be her big sister! Wow...isn't she lucky to have YOU as a big sister! What a lucky baby this is...her big sister looks so kind and lovely"

And I never forgot that because DD was just glowing after the new baby had been getting all the attention.

@FortunesFave thank you so much for your advice. I will be sure to implement this.
Caught her hiding and crying tonight. When questioned she said "baby is taking all the love"
You where fortunate to come across such a lady who gave your daughter that much needed attention.
Tbh I'm not even showing baby any love. When DD is home. I only pick baby up to feed and change.
I wish she wouldn't feel unloved.
She was so excited when she knew a baby was coming. I never had predicted, she would behave in such away.

I would try to be a bit brisker? The big attention should be on her when she's being her best self or spending time with the baby, not when she is (forgive me) wallowing. I'm sure she has sad feelings and it's a big adjustment, but it's one a lot of children have navigated perfectly fine. She doesn't have to dwell on her sadness and neither do you.

@Naz2009

Hi Mums, I had a baby 6 days ago, been home for only 4 days with NB. My eldest is 5 and a half and tonight during bedtime she was looking very sad. At first she refused to speak finally she opened up. Clearly very upset about the matter, as she was trying her very best not to cry. She said "it's like you and daddy love the baby more" We had a good long chat, I explained to her, how baby needs more of my time and I was the same with her when she was a baby. She said "it feels like you're my step mum" That's got to me!. I don't want my little girl to feel such hurt. I try my best to keep things as they was pre-baby. We have special bonding time during bedtime and I'm make sure that I still stick to this. What advice do you have for me.

Hi OP All I can say to you as a mother who had three children is to involve your daughter as much as you can and get her to help you with the baby. Bath times are always good for this. Get her to help you dress the baby without making her feel pressured. Make sure you tell people how much she is helping you and how good she is with the baby when she is there so she hears everything. Make her feel important and let her know how much you love her and how you could not manage without her. When I had my little girl my son was shocked. I remember how he behaved when they visited us in hospital. It was awful. He was only 21 months when she was born, and obviously the centre of our world and suddenly this other baby is here taking up mums time. He started hitting other children at the playgroup because he was jealous of all the attention new baby got. I started involving him at bathtime and he would help. We started off bathing her in the living room in a baby bath and he helped to wash her etc and then when we got her out of the bath he would get in it and had fun. It worked almost instantly. Good luck !

Oh bless her. It's very early days (congratulations btw) and it's a difficult age - my similar age nephew is being a right pain at the moment with all the exhaustion of end of term plus excitement of Christmas so it's probably all a bit much.

Did she get a present from baby and give the baby a present? I'd make sure any visitors give her a big fuss before giving the baby any attention and talk to her about stuff that's not "being a big sister". My eldest was younger but I found a big difference once I could carry the baby in a sling, it meant I got lots of baby cuddles and DD sort of forgot he was there.

Thanks ladies, you have all give me great tips, helping at bath time worked a treat. She enjoyed being able to help wash the baby.
Very grateful to all your comments.