Baby won't spent time alone

[testy1997]

My baby is 9 weeks old and just won't sit on her playmat alone, or do anything on her own. She wants constant attention and is always wriggling. Is this something to be worried about as all of my other NCT friends' babies manage to sit there happily cooing away.. I've read all sorts of things about hyperactive and fussy newborns going on to have adhd diagnoses and I can't stop obsessing.

9 weeks is a second leap development, prime growth spurt time and still in the fourth trimester. I wouldn't worry about babies who will lie on a mat Vs those who won't tbh. None of mine tolerated playmats or bouncy chairs etc for any length of time at that age as they just felt happier and more secure being held. As far as I know none of them have ADHD etc.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Enjoy your little one- try not to compare them to others babies as they're all so different. X

My son was the same - it's absolutely nothing to worry about. He needed interaction and entertainment constantly as a baby - now he's seven, very bright and very independent!

Its hard work when your baby wants constant interaction, there's absolutely no way that anything like ADHD could be diagnosed at this age.

This is completely normal. If you’re really worried about your baby, ever, then you can of course speak to your HV/GP.

Baby is far too young to be able to identify anything like ADHD. Try to avoid Dr Google, it will diagnose everything and anything. Appreciate how easy it is to worry

Neither of mine would be on their own, even now at 3y and 1.5y they don't do well on their own. It's normal, your friends are lucky, they all get there in the end though. 9 weeks is so tiny too, still in the 4th trimester, have you got a sling? Mine lived in a sling till they were a bit bigger.

Mines 4 months and I'd say until around 10 weeks we couldn't leave her for a second without her crying. Now she can play with things she's less demanding.

Both my babies have been like this, my son is 7 weeks and so far occasionally he will tolerate a few mins here and there alone on mat/in carrycot/in bouncy chair but more often than not he won't, and even when he does it's not for long at all. My eldest couldn't be put down at ALL. She cried all the time even being held tbh. She's 3.5 now and still hardly does anything alone, she always wants to be close to us or around other people, strangely she's an introvert but still needs company all the time. Actually thinking about it one of my siblings is like that!

My ds has adhd.

He loved nothing more than entertaining himself under the floor mat or in his bouncer.

ADHD diagnosis not the end of the world anyway. Kids and adults I know with ADHD might be a bit hyper but they are some of the most funny, caring and loving people I know.

Anyway, do you have some exciting toys for them to play with, bars across the mat with dangly bits, a swing or bouncer with sounds? Jumperoo? You can get socks with a rattle thing on them or the soft books with crinkly pages etc etc

Forget the jumperoo suggestion - couldn't remember the age range but just seen it's from 6 months so don't put your baby in that!

Totally normal at 9 weeks. She’s still in the fourth trimester, she just wants to be with you. She will gain independence as she gets older, based on her secure attachment to you.

completely normal. baby will probably want constant attention for the next 2 years - that is just what it is like.

but you don't have to be doing baby-focused stuff all the time. if you are doing household things (laundry / cleaning / cooking), put baby in a sling & talk nonsense all the time while you do the job - describe each sock & t-shirt etc. That is fascinating to a baby who has everything to learn about how the world works.

and this is the time to go out lots - baby groups / cafes / parks are all interesting to the baby and good for you to feel less isolated. It doesn't matter what you go out for, even wandering around the supermarket pointing things out to baby is fine. but do get out if you can.

the thing babies always hate is if you are looking at a phone, because they can't see the phone & don't understand what you are doing. And similarly, a baby that age can't do much on his/her own, and can't play alone for more than a couple of minutes. So get a sling & keep baby close if you can.

One of my dc has suspected all sorts at 13!! Been a very easy baby and young dc until he hit 11..slept through a 2 weeks!!
No signs of anything being untoward back then.
Some dc just need you more ime.

Thank you everyone. It's just so tough when you're surrounded by angel babies who just chill!

Oh it’s hard work having a high needs baby, I fully sympathise with the hell of being surrounded by angel babies. DD1 improved a bit when she could sit up by herself, a bit more when she started cruising at 9 months and exponentially when she started walking around 11 months.

Some babies just hate being babies. It’s a thing, they’re called high needs babies. The name doesn’t help when you’re going through it though! DD1 categorically wouldn’t entertain being held/worn all day but was happy upright in a buggy where she could look at stuff - would that help?

9 weeks old is still a newborn and want to mostly be held from what I remember.

Not that it has any relevance to a future ADHD diagnosis, but if she does have it, she can be super successful and happy with the right support and understanding. I have it and it never affected my parents, only me.