ADD / ADHD

[DontWantTheRivalry]

Do any of you have children with a diagnosis of these conditions?

If so what behaviours led you to think that something just wasn’t ‘right’?

I’m sorry to ask a personal question but I’m a little concerned about my 4 year old son’s behaviour but my husband tells me I’m over thinking things or over analysing.

I guess I thought it might help to hear from parents whose children do have these diagnoses to either confirm or allay my worries.

Thank you.

My daughter has adhd. She is now 13 and pretty well managed with lots of sport.
At 4 she presented as being very active (really struggled to sit still), short attention span, anxious in new situation, emotional. Terrible sleeper (still is) and emotionally young.

Thank you for your reply.

I feel like my 4 year old is emotionally very young too and he can have some mighty meltdowns. It’s so hard to know what is normal behaviour.

He’s 4 years and 4 months.

He is a total live wire…..sometimes it’s like he can’t stay still and he will run around the house for what seems like hours, being loud and rough with his older sibling.

But then at other times he’s perfectly calm and quiet….for example he can go to the cinema and watch a film no problem, he can patiently play board games and wait his turn and if we are going arts and crafts he can fully engage and sit and do it nicely for long periods of times. Same with puzzles….he will sit quietly and do 4-5 puzzles (up to 100 pieces each) without causing any disruption.

He sleeps well - he goes a good 11 hours without waking.

I don’t know….something just niggles at me when he’s having his crazy periods. My first son was never like this so I have nothing to compare it too in terms of whether it’s just normal 4 year old behaviour or not.

Dc1. Always slept well and there were no signs from birth all the way up to late foundation/reception.

In y1 he struggled with sitting still and concentrating and hated writing.

He didn't mature at the same rate as his peers and didn't seem to know how to play with them.

He would never sit still at home and watching TV with him was (and still is) infuriating: he is either bouncing around and up & down like a yo-yo or, if he has control of the remote, never watches a programme to the end and prefers flicking back and forth instead.

Eats like he thinks someone is going to steal his food.

Makes random loud or silly noises and always interrupts conversations with things that have nothing to do with the topic being discussed.

Hates games that take a while such as cards or board games. Gets angry if he loses or has to miss a turn.

Anything out of the ordinary or exciting, such as an upcoming party or celebration, he can't control his excitement and is pretty much climbing the walls by the time the event comes around.

Touches and fiddles with everything: can't leave a button un-pressed and anything that comes apart will be in bits in no time.

Incredibly impulsive and doesn't seem to learn from past bad experiences or having been told off.

Excels at reading: he has always kind of hyper-focussed on reading. He often has 5 or 6 different books on the go and will read anything with words on. He's the same with anything techy such as a computer or whatever because he just presses buttons without worrying that it's going to crash the system.

Hates loud noises and places where there's a lot going on but is the noisiest and busiest in the house.

As a baby he slept really well but as he has got older he has found it more difficult to fall asleep because he can't stop thinking.

Makes random loud or silly noises and always interrupts conversations with things that have nothing to do with the topic being discussed.

My son does this too. For no reason, and completely out the blue he will make really strange screechy noises.

I’ve always thought he was a boisterous little thing but over the last couple of months it’s worried me more as it doesn’t seem like his behaviour is age appropriate.

He doesn’t stop talking or singing either.

I had parents evening in year 3 and the teacher said a lot of the time DS is day dreaming and not understanding the work.
I saw it at home, then times where he would be bouncing around non stop, my sofa became a trampoline, wouldn't play with a game more than 10-15 mins before another game or toy was out.
Interrupted me at all times regardless who I was talking to, Like he couldn't wait his turn.
Hates losing at games and got easily upset if someone else won.
Eats far too much food than they need. Drinks too.
Finding it hard to sleep but can sleep for 10-11
Hours when out.

I ended up taking my son to a doctor as it was apparent in two settings (school and home) they usually need evidence of this so questionnaire sent to the school and at home. SALT and child services were involved to strengthen the diagnosis and not something else.

He was diagnosed aged 7 with ADHD. Used medication since then. Now he's 12. Still very much a day dreamer but the tablets do help him to an extent. I'm just pissed at the minute because his paediatrician hasn't seen him for two years (pandemic) and hasn't bothered to phone me either, he defo needs him medication dose increased.

And now Will spend countless hours on his PS shouting to his friends but hates homework and have to compromise to get it done.

What age did you start having concerns Jellytot?

I don’t know whether to speak to someone about it. Maybe it’s just normal behaviour that I’m seeing? I don’t know.

Around year 2 but the teacher was useless! Every parents evening she would be so generic that I didn't bother to ask questions!
I saw some symptoms at home but thought if he's not having problems at school then maybe it's something I need to change at home.

Soon as he was in year 3 the teacher was completely honest from the start and I went from there.

I made an appointment with the doctor. My son showed symptoms while we were there, walking around the GP's room interrupting me when I was talking to the doctor. She referred him and we went from there.

Wow @GTAlogic your DS has so many similarities to mine (age 6). I think he has ADHD too.

Has been the same with Y1, really struggled with the expectations in behaviour and the amount of writing. His writing is poor, it seemed ok in reception but I’ve now noticed it’s not as good as his peers as he’s had a few Christmas cards.

Makes the silly noises, interrupts.

Hates things that “take too long”.

Gets very over excited!

Doesn’t learn from past mistakes (gets put on the “storm cloud” at school or told off for the same thing over and over again - gets upset about it at the time but still does it again!)

Can’t leave anything alone, and if he’s asked not to it’s almost like he’s compelled to do it.

He still sleeps well, thank goodness. And also seems ok with his peers, although I think as time goes on they’ll notice he’s more impulsive/fidgety than they are.

My DS also never looks like he’s listening in a group setting, like at school or in a club. He’s either chatting to the person next to him with no regard that the teacher is talking, or he’s looking away, fiddling with something. It’s like he hasn’t grasped he’s expected to listen.

He’s also sensitive to loud noises too. Not to the extent that his life is disrupted, but more so than your average child his age I’d say.

His reading also seems to be better than many of his peers, especially considering his writing is behind.

How old is your DS now and when was he diagnosed?

OP my DS isn’t diagnosed but I think it’s a big possibility so I’ve asked for him to be referred. I’m expecting a long wait though. I’ve listed above all of the reasons that make me think he has it. I’ve gone through the list of signs and he ticks a lot of the boxes for “combined type”, my DH has recently done something similar online for adults and he ticks most of the boxes for inattentive type which I’ve suspected for a while.

OP what I would say is your DS is still very young at 4, he may well grow out of it. It’s only the last year really where I’ve thought perhaps my son isn’t typical compared with his peers (he’s 6, in year 1). The fact that your DS can concentrate on lots of different things including crafts etc is encouraging, my DS couldn’t do anything like that at 4, he could only concentrate on things that were of specific interest to him (building, Lego, Knex etc). He’s still like it a bit, although he will do his school work - rushed, so he has more time to do an activity he chooses. He’s lucky he’s bright but I really worry it’s going to hold him back.

You could speak to the GP or Health Visitor.

Confusedandworried321 He was diagnosed at the end of year 3, when he was 8. I'd had concerns for a couple of years but, in our area, they won't investigate adhd until they're at least 7 because the symptoms could just be down to immaturity.

He's 10 now and in year 6 and has been on Medikinet for almost 3 years. At first he was taking 10mg slow release tablets but he lost his appetite and therefore lost too much weight; now he takes a 5mg tablet twice a day and, although he still has his foibles and his own way of doing things, is much better. His handwriting is legible and he can write for extended periods of time and academically he's where he should be (apart from reading and computing where he still excels).

He is still quite immature for his age, socially speaking, and is part of a programme in school that aims to help him manage his friendships and his anger (he's a lovely, gentle and sensitive lad but when pushed in a certain way it's like he explodes). He's going up to secondary school next year and is quite anxious about it but all the teachers involved are actively supporting him with the transition.

I'm a teacher myself and, although I know that comparison is the thief of joy and all that, I knew all too well what most children his age were like in terms of their academic abilities and in their behaviour and I just knew that something wasn't right with my ds so as soon as he moved into year 3 I asked his teacher about a referral.

Thanks everyone for your comments.

I’ve previously been told I can be a bit anxious and an over-thinker so I don’t know if I’m doing the same now.

When he woke up this morning he came into mine and DH’s bed and lay with me for half an hour really calmly and talking to me every now and then and it was lovely, but then other times he can run and jump around the house for so long that he’s sweating.

We went abroad earlier this year and he sat nicely on the plane for 3 hours just watching a film or looking at books, so I know he can be settled…..but when he has the moment of extreme activity or times when he’s really fidgety my worries just start up again.

I have another older son and I keep trying to think back on what he was like when he was this age (there a 3.5 year age gap between them) but my memory is hazy.

My 4 year old goes to a childminder three days a week and she has never expressed any concerns about his behaviour but I don’t know…..something is just niggling at me.

Look OP I think you should trust your instincts here. I "knew" from DD being about 2 that there was something different going on. People will tell you "oh all 2/3/4/5 year olds are like that" but I think if you know you know.

I raised it with teachers in reception and then year 1 and right at the end of year 1 the teacher said actually I do think there is something after all. It took the whole of year 2 to get a diagnosis via CAHMS and she started medication in year 3 it was a game changer.
She was so behind at school up to that point but if it hadn't been for Covid I think she would have left t expected level the improvement was so good.
Don't leave it.

Light switches is another thing - he can’t walk past them without switching them on and off repeatedly.

I spoke to his childminder today and she said she was going to speak to me about his behaviour anyway as over the last few months she feels he has changed and has become a lot more fiery, boisterous, always wanting to be on the go etc. She doesn’t know if he’s just tying to push the boundaries and playing up a little, or whether there’s more to it.

I have a feeling that if I spoke to a HV or GP they would probably just tell me he is too young to be investigated anyway.

I understand it is hard to get a referral
Before the age of 7 but we actually know several families where child
Was diagnosed with adhd before the age of 5
So. Worth trying!!

Speak to GP. Childminder. HV. And get a referral in asap. Might be quick

Best of luck!