Anxiety and everything else...

[Windyrose92]

So idk...I haven't done one of these in awhile. I feel like I just need a place to bounce my thoughts around. I have a 4 year old boy, he's seriously my heart. Quick background, never had mental issues before...had a very hard and traumatic delivery, was diagnosed with ptsd and post-p anxiety shortly after, then 6 months later my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, year or so later she passed which just added on obviously. I am on anxiety meds which definitely help but sometimes I just go into the panic attacks about what if something happens to my son....like it scares me so much knowing I love something so much that if something happened to him it would kill me and how could I go on and then I randomly worry about what if he grows up and gets on drugs and I watch him slowly kill himself. I know these are intrusive thoughts but seriously it gets ahold of me bad sometimes. Just to be clear, my husband knows what I go through and is definitely here for me, yes I've seen a therapist before (not doing that again) and no I do not feel like harming myself or anyone else. My question is...what the heck is wrong with me?? Do other parents go through this???

Not all parents go through this, no. But many parents with anxiety or panic disorders do, yes. It's awful!!

The best you can do is to seek treatment (which you're doing), find and practise coping strategies and learn to live alongside your anxiety as well as you can. Are you getting any counselling? Do you have CBT techniques that work for you?

And are you managing to practise any 'self-care' ie taking moments for your self doing things that make you feel refreshed and better, whatever that may look like? It's so hard when you have little children..

The trick with counselling is to find someone you click with.
And definitely find your own coping mechanisms for when your anxiety over spills.
Do you have a regular medication review for your antidepressants, so you check they’re working, and if you might be better off on something else ?
Are your anxiety over spills linked to your cycle ?
And remember that alcohol is a depressant.