Friends being nasty at school

[SunnyShiney]

Hi,

Just looking for a bit of advice really. My daughter is 8 and has a physical disability which prevents her from running as fast as the other kids and jumping etc. She also has a mild learning delay and is very behind for her age in all areas including socially / emotionally.

Over the last couple of months the 'friends' she has at school can be quite mean to her. Saying things like they don't want to play with her, running away from her and from what i can gather just generally making a fool of her, saying she cant play this game etc.

I feel this is really affecting her mood and confidence (which she is very low on as it is) and I'm at a complete loss as to what to do about it.

I'm just looking for a bit of advice from anyone who has experience of this? Should i involve the school? Sometimes the things she tells me are bordering on what i would call bullying. I can see she is feeling alone and isolated as no one wants to play with her. I get that she maybe is a bit slower to pick things up when playing new games etc but it seems none of the kids are being kind or helping her, just being mean.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Ita heartbreaking seeing your kid go through this. I think it hurts more if we have been through it ourselves too.

I'd take two approaches. Firstly with your daughter explaining that friends who say that are unkind and that friends change. You may be close one year and not another, then friends again the next. I'd always be honest and ask about others in the class, ask if there is someone new she would like to invite round for a playdate.
Secondly, I would contact the school. To me this isn't just about being unkind it could be about her disability. Highlighting this to the school and asking them to weave some inclusivity stories or lessons into their week could be a subtle way to deal with it (if the teacher has time). But it also gives the teachers a chance to keep an eye on the behaviour and call it out when they see it.
Hopefully things will get better as they all mature but sadly we all know this may happen more over the years until she settles with good strong friendships. Build her resilience now and she'll be able to deal with anything.