Returning to work with a breastfed baby

[Wacko91]

Hey
I have been EBF my lil man . He is 6 months old now, refuses bottles of expressed milk etc. i have started to wean him onto solids. He is my 3rd baby. I formula fed my other two children and they were weaned onto solids from 4 months as at the time those were the recommendations for formula fed babies. Now 10 years and 5 years and alls good with them. I returned to work full time after my 2nd lil man and all was smooth. This time round , I am dreading it. He only knows me really as im with him 24/7 and with the current pandemic there’s hasn’t been a reason for me to leave him with anyone plus I have been trying to keep our contacts down as his Daddy is a high risk. Anyways , I am rambling.
I most likely will have to return to work , but looking at part time. I will be gone for 12 hrs 2 days a week and 10 hours on a sat , i just dont know how to manage this breastfeeding . I am not ready to stop, and also I dont know what I am at with the solids, if anyone has any routines I can have a look at, at least with the bottles ye no how much baby is getting. My baby wont take bottles. Wil my supply stay if i dont feed during the day and 12 hrs seems like a losing time to go without feeding baby, even though by then he should be established on feeds, being 8 months old. And then my poor boobs , if for 3 days a week im not feeding reg, on different days,would I spend majority of the time engorged?? Soo many questions,,,I wish there was more supports in place to protect breastfeeding …

I also have so many hens and weddings next year. I am just so stressed with the thoughts of leaving my youngest. Defo have separation anxiety. Fml

I went back to work with my first and I'd be gone 7-5. I did express milk whilst at work during my lunch break but my mum (who had him) said that he wouldn't take it and would just wait for me to come home. It's really hard to leave them but you'll both adjust and settle into a new routine and he'll be so happy to see you when you get home.

I think the most important thing is to protect your supply so making sure you express. Talk to your work and request that they provide you with time and a place to express.

It will be alright. I agree about expressing, milk is still main source of food and you do need to keep supply up if you wish to continue breastfeeding. It is so lovely to have those bedtime snuggles, and really helpful when your baby has a cold to help them sleep and breathe easy.

Who will be looking after the baby when you're at work? At your house or somewhere else?. You really need to spend lots of time with that person if it is family. And ideally you should start to leave the baby with that person for short periods. I don't like the idea of you leaving your baby for 12 hours with strangers in an unfamiliar setting, it is a little cruel. If it is a childminder or nursery, you need to get baby used to being away from home a LOT - spend days out at a relative's or friend's house. Find out what routine the baby will be following in the daycare and align your routine (naps, meals, etc) to theirs now. Try and be absent when it is milk time, let someone else try and feed the baby a bottle.

My DD1 simply refused to take a bottle, and at 10.5 months, with me returning to work at 11 months, I panicked and decided to force her to wean to sippy cups of milk by severely restricting time on the boob then cutting out the daytime feeds first (she carried on having boob at bedtime til about 14 months). That weaning process was very hard, lots of furious baby tears and little thrashing fists, but it worked, and food was well established so she wasnt only drinking milk at that stage I went back to work.

With respect if you're returning to work, your contacts will increase again. So you might as well accept that, and spend the next two months socialising your baby and getting the baby used to you not being there. Hungry babies can be very stubborn in my experience and that can be stressful. I've had friends whose babies refused milk all day and would wait til mum came
home to drink milk. The babies did ultimately thrive but it was uncomfortable for the mums to know their absence was being met with hunger strike.

Regarding engorgement personally I had no issue at all, but my milk supply is high and responsive to "changes in demand" so I might just have been lucky.

Separation anxiety really kicks in a little but later, so you still have a window of opportunity to get your baby ready for a big change.

My DS won’t take a bottle but I’ve just discovered that he will happily drink strawberry milkshake from a glass. I know I’m just encouraging his sweet tooth but adding a bit of pureed fruit to his milk makes him much more willing to drink it. Mixing breastmilk with Weetabix or adding it to purees are also good ways to get a reluctant baby to take his milk.

I work 8 hour shifts and I pump for half an hour during the dinner break. If you’re working 12 hours shifts then maybe try every three hours to begin with. After the first few shifts you might decide that you need more or fewer breaks.

I don't like the idea of you leaving your baby for 12 hours with strangers in an unfamiliar setting, it is a little cruel.

Oh give over.

OP, my DS was a little older when I returned to work so not sure how much this will apply to you, but here's my experience anyway. I still feed him the three days I was home without issue, no engorgement on my work days but maybe feeling a little fuller on my first day back in work. Later again I dropped to just feeding overnight and did that for several months. Milk supply isn't as fragile as you may think :)

I didn't pump because he wouldn't have drunk it and life is too short. In your shoes I'd be looking to express for comfort if needed for the first few days and then giving formula if baby will take a bottle or cup. If not, they won't suffer for it, you just might find they feed a bit more when you are around.

I wouldn't worry about getting in to the same routine as the nursery. Do 6 month olds give a shit about routine...? Regardless, mine have both managed to survive having a different routine on nursery and home days.

Would just add as well that I know people sometimes feel guilty about sending their kids to childcare when they're so little, but our anecdotal experience is that DS coped much better than DD who started when she was 6 months older, and that's despite DS being born just before Covid and so not really seeing other people. At 6 months it'll be before separation anxiety kicks in as well.

My DS was 9 months when I returned to work, we figured out he would drink from a sippy cup or straw cup (basically whatever he was having water at meal times from) and my parents or DH gave him expressed milk from that. I expressed twice a day to begin with but now (from around 12 months) I just do it once a day.
He doesn't normally have any milk during the day now just water and then feeds from me when I get home.
My supply hasn't been affected as far as I can tell and I haven't become engorged. I can get a little sore at work if I haven't been able to express till later in the day. When I do express I don't get much anymore but I'm going to keep going as I move to 12 hour days soon!

Some useful information here about your legal rights when you return to work:

maternityaction.org.uk/advice/continuing-to-breastfeed-when-you-return-to-work/

I went back when my son was 9 months. I made are he was having 3 solid meals and snacks. I also asked for him to be offered milk at various intervals but he rarely drank it. I dropped him off at 7am and would do a quick 5 minute feed then again about 5/6 when I picked him up. We co sleep so he has unlimited access all night. I didn’t pump at all during the day. It took a couple of days but my breasts adjust. And on weekends/holidays he still feeds during the day. It’s amazing how your breast can adjust so quickly. He’s 2 now and we are still going strong. He’s also had many nights away from me, and he sleeps all the way through or may ask for milk once.

It'll be fine. Both of mine were BF bottle refusers. One went straight to a sippy cup, one got the hang of bottles. I expressed with my first then used formula when I was at work. I didn't express at all with my second and mix fed from 6 months, BF excluding when I was with her, formula when not. I went back to work 2 days a week (out of the house around 12 hours a day) from just before 6 months with my first and just before 12 months either my second. I never expressed during the working day, just fed them in the morning before I left and when I got in again. Both BF for 2 years so we had no issues at all. I also had weekend away when one was about 9 months old. I just pumped and dumped a few times.

How old will he be when he goes back?

I'd say you don't have to worry too much about supply - it's well settled by now and it sounds as though you will have a couple of long days but be feeding normally the rest of the time.

In terms of what to do - get up early and do a massive feed in the morning and a few feeds in the evening. If you can get him to take a bottle - try what you can to get him to accept. It's always better to have someone else try (you go out and let DH try - if the milk (you!!) is around he won't be interested.

Good luck!

[quote Vuvuvuzela]Some useful information here about your legal rights when you return to work:

maternityaction.org.uk/advice/continuing-to-breastfeed-when-you-return-to-work/[/quote]
Thanks for all the reply’s. I live in Ireland. I can’t afford childcare. So his grandmother is really the only one who could help us with the kids. (She never breastfed either) so the -lan would be, I get up with all the kids, feed in the morn , get others ready for school,do the school runs for 9am,then give baby yo granny,be in work for ten and then she’d do the rest that day until husbands home from work round 530 / 6pm. I don’t finish until 8 but I never get out on time so it be 9ish before I’m home. So I’m giving myself 12 hrs if a window away on the 2 longer days during the week

Most or every Saturdays lol sorry my spellings are terrible

Och, all sounds really stressful. One thing to say is that like you’ll know from your others, there is quite a lot of change in dependency on milk during that 6-9mo phase, and by a year he should be fine to go long days without milk if he won’t have it any other way.

Over the next few months, gradually getting more used to granny and also offering milk via sippy cup. We also used tiny little shot glasses and one called a doidy cup, to help a reluctant bottle baby to accept milk. I think a lot will change over 8 weeks and while your anxieties are natural, by the time you get there it will all come together.

Also even if baby won’t take the milk, it’s worth you expressing during day at first to stop yourself getting blocked ducts, it’s a big change to your body. I think with part time hours and feeding the rest of the time, your supply is unlikely to be hugely impacted. For context, I am still feeding my 3yr old from only one boob (6 months ago she declared right boob milk was ‘yukky and sandy’ ) and she now only feeds maybe every 3 or 4 days, and there is still some milk there. Your body is amazing the way it adjusts to meet the demand.

If he is likely to be a year old before you go he won't need a bottle. Can use a beaker and also drink normal milk when you are not around. He will be eating solids and drinking water and not so reliant on your milk. It can be more of a comfort thing from that age I think. A morning and bedtime feed will be fine.

It's important to know that you have protected workplace rights when it comes to breastfeeding and returning to work. In the United States, the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) requires employers to provide reasonable breaks to employees to express breastmilk for their child up to one year after birth. Each state's laws are unique, so be sure to do some research before heading back to know what your entitled to.
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