Toddler sleep (advice and own experiences please)

[MamaSJ15]

Our 2 and a half YO daughter takes a long time to go to sleep at night at the moment. She is in bed between 7 and 7:30 but it can take her up to 10:30 to actually go to sleep (one night was after 11pm). She doesn't get out of bed, she just plays around with her teddy, or chats/sings etc, then the odd whinge every now and again when she's actually been trying to sleep and is obviously getting fed up cause she can't! This has been the case for the last two weeks, we originally put it down to a big change in her life because we took her out of nursery and she started a playgroup with her cousin and spends the afternoons with her nana or auntie (which she is really enjoying), then she had her flu vaccine, then had a cold, so we kept making excuses for it. Two weeks later and now it seems intentional!
Yesterday, she had no nap while she was at her aunties house, and went straight to sleep at night, but that's after tantrums for be being too tired! We know she needs her naps (which we are limiting to an hour or less), but anyone been through this and have any tips?

Sounds like she's ready to drop her nap unfortunately. DD did those late nights and I found that she needed a decent nap every 3rd/4th day which worked loads better than trying to limit a daily nap. The couple of days she didn't nap were a bit of a shit show for a couple of weeks and then it got loads better.

We’re the same although slightly younger at 20mo, he used to be asleep within 10-30 minutes, it’s actually taken 3 hours one night but usually it’s more towards 1.5 hours. He’s never fussy, just seemingly not tired when he absolutely should be! After spending 1+ hours in a warm dark bed with him too I’m half asleep and then can’t get to grips with my evening/night at all and just end up going to sleep!

Can you make her bed time later and see how that goes?

That sounds like our 2.5 year old.

She's shown some other signs of potentially dropping her last nap so I guess that's what it might be.

@RedwineforSantaplease at what age was this happening for your DD?

@KL92xxxx we've had it happen before, think she was about 22 months at that point which I knew was too early to drop the nap, she came out of it gradually but it felt like it went on forever 😂

@Ilovecoffee2 I had thought about that but I didn't want it to be the case that we put her to bed later then she still takes the same amount of time to go to sleep which means it's even later. I mean, it's possibly worth a try though.

@Hulmeert what other signs have you noticed?

I had the same issue with my little boy who is a similar age. We actually came to realise he was overtired. I confused the hyperactivity for him being “low sleep needs” but actually it’s a sign of being overtired. We’ve just worked with a sleep consultant to address our issues.

We find bringing bedtime forward helps, there seems to be a sweet spot where he’ll fall asleep and if you miss it it takes him ages to unwind and drop off. I am mindful of how much sleep he needs - around 11-12 hours for him. If he’s had a good night it’s wind down at 6 and aim for sleep at 7. If he’s not had enough sleep (like this morning when he woke up at 4.40 for a poo!!) I bring bedtime an hour forward and make sure our “winddown” is really restful and not rushed.

I struggle to get him to nap but try and encourage it where his nighttime sleep is less than 11 hours. But wake up by 2 absolute latest, preferably 1.

We follow quote a rigid bedtime routine which I think helps as he follows each step knowing what’s next.

I think that sounds like overtiredness OP. I'd keep the nap-maybe limit to 40 mins (1 sleep cycle) and try a 6.30 put down xx

Definitely sounds like its time for the nap to go. When they stop napping they still need the same amount of sleep but in one chunk. It takes about two weeks to adjust to no during which time its a good idea to allow an additional 30 min for the bed time routine.

When my DD (who’d previously always gone to sleep without any problems) started taking hours to drop off at that age it was because she needed to stop napping during the day. There were a couple of weeks with overtired tantrums and very early bedtimes then she got used to it and has been in bed at 7:15, asleep by 7:30 ever since.

You've got 2 camps here, you'll have to try to work out which is right! I'm in camp drop the nap, at that age. She might still need a nap some days, maybe every other days or every 3 days she'll have a nap and catch up. Both mine dropped their nap at 2 & 4m. Which was weird because they're like chalk and cheese! My sisters lad she thought he needed the nap still and kept it until over 3yo even though he was the up until 9:30pm. Her choice but wouldn't be for me.

Another vote for nap dropping I'm afraid, DD dropped hers at around 2 and she went from a similar night owl situation to reliably going (most nights) 8pm ish til 7am ish. She always sleeps in the car so if we go anywhere more than 20 mins away I know we are in for a late bedtime!

Thank you all for your opinions and advice. I'm going to keep them all in mind and figure out what will be best for our LO.
I personally think she still needs a nap for now, but maybe a shorter nap (and making sure it's not too late in the day) may be a good idea. I have thought about it being overtiredness, but we would struggle to put her down much earlier due to full time work and the time we're home etc.

My 2y11mo still needs a nap as he's exhausted and tetchy by 1230, so he has no more than 1.5 hours. Upstairs for bathtime soon after 7, we do let him have quite a long bath and story time and he's asleep by 8.30, wakes up at 7.

So for anyone reading this thread who would like an update...
It's probably been 3-4 weeks now since it started, we've tried various things to see if it would help, such as shortening her naps, putting her to bed later, letting her nap as long as she needs (in case she was getting overtired from the short naps), and honestly, the only thing that has made any difference is no nap at all. Generally, if she goes a day without a nap, she'll be asleep within a few minutes (rather than the 2-3 hours it was taking), so I'm finding she gets more sleep overall with having no nap than she was getting with a nap.
I don't do it every day, if she wants to nap then we let her, but same thing happens at night, takes forever to go to sleep!
Any other suggestions are more than welcome, but this it the only thing making a difference for our particular situation. Thank you to everyone for all your suggestions so far

I always find when you’re getting children to adjust to a new nap schedule, consistency is key. So you need to stick with no naps, even if it means a few unpleasant days while she gets used to it.