Insomnia postpartum

[Allaboutthefood]

Dc2 is 10 weeks old. I've enjoyed the newborn phase so much this time and have bonded with baby a lot faster than with DC1, I had really bad anxiety the first time.

However this time I seem to suffer from a bit of insomnia. Dc2 sleeps brilliantly and I just lie there for hours unable to sleep and getting increasingly anxious about it.

Then I need to function on 3 hours sleep the next day. The fact it is self inflicted is making me so upset.

Just taken DC2 for a walk and I was crying the whole time. I feel like a rubbish mum for being tired when she couldn't be more perfect. I feel like I am broken somehow as I go to baby groups and realise my baby sleeps brilliantly compared to the others yet I am not rested and full of energy like I should be.

I am really spiralling thinking this will be forever and I'll never be able to be a good mum to my two children as I will be constantly tired and dealing with this my whole life.

I do have a habit of catastrophising but i guess I just need to hear everything will be OK. Will it? How do I stop being my own worst enemy?

Hi Op, sorry you’re going through this. I had really bad insomnia post partum too. When my baby slept well I’d lie awake expecting her to wake up needing me and when she didn’t I’d feel temporarily relieved, then the next night would roll round and I’d lie awake another night worrying thinking tonight will be the night something will happen.
I ended up speaking to my GP as I went 3 full days in a row without sleeping and it was seriously affecting my day to day life. The prescribed a temporary course of sleeping tablets and an antidepressant that had a mild sedative, so now I do manage to sleep most nights and I don’t feel nearly as anxious anymore either, thankfully! My baby is 13 months now, this all peaked around 5 months post partum for me (but it’d been happening more or less since she was born)
I know medication isn’t for everyone but maybe speak to your GP and see what they say. Insomnia is awful, but don’t beat yourself up about it

Thank you @Oreoreo. I am BF and baby won't take a bottle which I think is compounding my anxiety that I won't be able to fall back on medication if it gets really bad (and also that I can't ever escape for an uninterrupted nights sleep). I did contact my GP when this happened 3 weeks PP and got referred for CBT. I coincidentally finally heard back today and will have my first therapy session next week. Really hope it will help.

Last time it passed after a few days so fingers crossed it happens again this time and I sleep well tonight.

Unlikely though as DS was sent home from nursery with a temperature earlier so my anxiety has been triggered again. Knowing I need all my energy to look after both children on my own tomorrow is guaranteed to keep me up tonight. Argh I hate this so so much. I want to cry.

I understand the dilemma with the medication, I formula fed so I didn’t have that playing on mind.

I hope your LO is okay and that you have a better night tonight. I know it’s tough going and I can’t imagine having two to look after and go through this, I only have the one.

Hopefully the CBT referral is not too long a wait and that the techniques they use can provide some relief too

Hi

I had horrendous insomnia with my son. I ended up under the care of the perinatal psychiatrist because the anxiety and exhaustion of never sleeping nearly finished me off. I want you to know you will be absolutely fine. I sleep like a log now and my son is 15 months. Like the previous poster said, please talk to your gp about this. I was given sertraline to treat the anxiety and a short course of sleeping pills. I also have just finished CBT which has been amazing for the insomnia and the anxiety too. You can self refer for CBT and I recommend this if things spiral a bit.
Here are some things that helped me:
Don't just lie in bed for ages. If you can't sleep for a while, go for a walk around the house, turn on the light and read or listen to a sleep app.
478 breathing is great too. Look it up.

Thank you both! @buttercupmoon this is just what I needed to hear thank you so much. I made the mistake of googling it earlier and found threads where it seemed the problem only got worse for posters and lasted for years. So hearing it can also just get better is a huge relief.

So glad to hear CBT was helpful too as I'm starting this next week. Very excited as I've had low level anxiety on and off for a few years so it's about time I tackle it. Looking forward to improving myself so I can be the best mum for my children. I'm feeling very determined.

DS is quite poorly but OK, in a way it's helpful as I'm completely distracted from my own issues and have less time to obsess over how well I'll sleep tonight.

There are lots of medications considered safe to use whilst breastfeeding and your gp can advise you on this if you do need a little more help

https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/drugs-factsheets/

I hope the cbt helps, it is so difficult and the anxiety can really impact on sleep so treating that can have a knock on effect

Do you have any local support or anyone you can chat to about how you're feeling?
Take care x

Do the night feeds in bed and don’t be on your phone during night feeds.

If you have been trying to fall asleep for a long time and still can’t sleep then pick your baby up for a dream feed - hopefully the oxytocin will help you fall back asleep and if your baby is on a full stomach then you’ll get a longer sleep stretch when you finally fall asleep.

I had terrible PP insomnia too.

For me, the trigger was feeling like I was listening out for my baby crying and waking me. I found that wearing earplugs helped - I would wake for a cry, but not hear every little sound. I also started listening to audiobooks very quietly on a sleep timer before bed so I wasn't trapped with my own thoughts. That helped a lot too.

Hope you're over it soon - it's rubbish and really gets you down

I took sertraline for this after both pregnancies.

Thank you all, I had a fully sleepless night the night before last and really thought I was heading for a mental breakdown. It is so horrendous. I have made an appointment for GP on Monday.

So interesting to hear its happened to others and I'm not weird or a bad mother (spiralling thoughts!), I need to de-dramatise it a bit in my head.

@CottonSock how long did you take sertraline for each time and was it easy to then come off it? How quickly did it work and did you get any side effects? I first mentioned insomnia to my GP weeks ago and was prescribed it, but that night I slept really well and was then fine for weeks so didn't end up taking it. Think I will if it persists though.

However I somehow managed to sleep 10 hours last night and feel so much better!! Let's hope it lasts!

My gp did tell me not to rush coming off it. She recommended a year. There were some side effects. For me night tike sweating. The cessation I had symptoms that were a little unpleasant but overall worth it.
I didn't sleep for 3 nights straight at one point and was non functional and a mess. Negative thoughts were another symptom for me.

Hi Op. I had to comment as this was a big thing for me too.
It is hard when you can't sleep but as you managed 10 hours sleep last night you know you eventually do get to sleep. I've had nights where I've only managed to get an hour or two of sleep and eventually I sleep well again so I try not to worry about it too much. Although it feels horrible at the time.
I recommend:
-Trying to relax (know it's not easy)
-The effortless sleep method...a life changing book!

• Good foam earplugs and an eye mask

-Deep sleep relaxation app -Magnesium supplement -Carrying on as normal and plan fun activities to do even when you have a bad night, having things to do stops you dwelling on it. Don't be afraid to go to the doctor. I was out on mirtazapine for a while and it worked well for me.

Take care

I would try sleep hygiene before any medication. For many Sertraline has terrible side effects both going on and coming off

I have pregnancy insomnia and do:
Bedtime yoga
No screens post 10pm and until 8am (no matter how unsleepy I am)
Earplugs
Pillow spray from aromatherapy associates
Progressive muscle relaxation exercises

I always had sleep issues and insomina with my baby. I am terrified of the baby dying and then even when leaving him with his dad for a few hrs I can't sleep as I end up anxious about sleeping. I can't help but listen out for crying as well. I've started therapy and what really helped was not to put so much emphasis on I must sleep and if I go to sleep now I will have x amount of sleep etc. Just think of it as time to close your eyes and relax and dont put pressure on yourself to sleep. Honestly it really helped me. I am going to start medication as well as am just an anxious wreck.

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and advise, I really appreciate it!

@cottonsock thanks that's very helpful. I'm so glad it was helpful for you, I think i need to determine at what point the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. For now I've managed to get some sleep before getting to the point of total exhaustion but earlier this week I wasn't far off.

@again2020 you're right I need to focus on the fact that despite having some horrendous nights I then end up sleeping well again eventually so I need to not worry and catastrophise so much. I have been OK the last few nights thank god but I know as soon as I get a bad night it can spiral quite quickly, so much pressure!

@totalwasteofpaper thank you I've had some success with these before, especially yoga, but just have a few nights where nothing works. I was surprised how quick they are to prescribe medication with no information at all about side effects. When I mention I'd rather avoid sertraline for now my GP gets really annoyed with me. I start CBT next week so I hope that will help as it's definitely anxiety causing the insomnia.

@RedRuby26 this all resonates with me I'm exactly the same. I am so envious of people who can leave DH in charge overnight so they can sleep more, that doesn't work at all for me! If I'm in the spare room l sleep even less wondering if baby is awake or needs feeding, if DH needs help etc. It's harder work!

It means I can't get a break at all which is tough. I had all these anxieties with DC1 (minus the insomnia) and found it got better around 6 months when sleep got more predictable. That's just 3 months away so fingers crossed! Hope you feel better soon too.

Has anyone who struggled with insomnia post partum had any test to rule out physical causes? After I had DC1 the GP mentioned thyroid issues can cause these symptoms (anxiety, palpitations, insomnia) and can be common after birth, or it can also be caused by deficiencies. I had a blood test at the time, and would like one this time again in case it's something easy to fix. One can hope!!

Also, if it's a postpartum thing I wonder if it eventually resolves itself and when, maybe once hormones are fully back to normal? I think knowing there's an end point would help!

I was the same with my first. I took amitriptyline 30 mg for around a year from 4 months postnatal. I was also having zleep paralysis which is horrible. I was basically just anxious and exhausted then the anxiety stops you from sleeping when u get chance to. It got better for me at 6 months, I slept in bed with the baby and fed side lying when he awoke I the night as I was more anxious if he wasn't with me. The fact you slept 10 hours the other night should help you feel better than you cam sleep when you really need to. This also made me less anxious, u kept telling myself that no matter if I have 2 or 3 bad nights I'll eventually crash and have a good one. After 6 months I felt so much better and less anxious, its sleep deprivation anxiety and hormones but it will all level off. I have a second baby now and although I've had bad nights ive not had bad anxiety as I know it will get better and it's all just a phase. Wish you all the best.

Good news that you slept a good sleep. That wouldn't have been possible for me at the point I went on the sertraline. The negative thoughts were also a sure sign I had PND. My gp advised taking nytol a couple of times a week was OK if breastfeeding. Perhaps not if co sleeping though.

I had horrible insomnia that was linked to post partum anxiety. I was prescribed amitriptyline, which is safe when breastfeeding.

So good to know some things are OK to take when breastfeeding as I spent part of my sleepless night worrying that I wouldn't be able to get help unless I got baby to take a bottle which didn't help!!

Thank you @Carleton so amazing to hear it can be just a phase. Glad you are able to enjoy your second baby, congratulations!

@Allaboutthefood how are you getting on now? My baby is now 6 months and my insomnia feels out of control, especially since stopping breastfeeding 2 months ago. If things are better now, what worked for you?