Does it matter that my baby gets what it wants all the time?

[R1cciteddy]

Literally that, I give her what she wants so she stops crying and so we are both happy. Will she be a nightmare as she grows? she's almost 4 months

My main worry is she cosleeps and naps in a sling.

I will want some kind of life one day

Any tips from those that were too 'soft'

Keep doing what you are doing. My mum accused me of spoiling my babies by being attentive to their needs...

They are lovely and well adjusted preteens now. I regret nothing.

Enjoy your baby!

You're doing the very best for her. I took the "easy" way and carried DD2 constantly and co-slept etc. I didn't make a rod for my own back. She's mid teens now and is curious, bright and very empathetic. Also happily and appropriately independent. I'll never be sorry I followed my instincts with her. I take no credit for her but I also feel sure that I didn't "spoil" her.

Are you happy though? I know lots of mums who co sleep and feed on demand and all the other attachment parenting behaviour who say they don’t mind but are secretly really angry and resentful and that resentment is usually directed at their partners whose “lives aren’t affected at all”.

You're doing a wonderful job

You can’t hold, love or comfort your baby too much.

I’m definitely an advocate for a little bit of routine, so trying to keep naps roughly the same time, putting baby down in the basket now and then but by no means rigid and if they wanted to nap on my chest (as both of mine did) then I let them, then occasionally I could manoeuvre them into the bed or into the cot for a little bit.

Give them all the love they want. 4 months is nothing and they need you. It’ll pass so quickly so soak it up!

Of course at 4 months! How can anyone think otherwise? FFS.

There is a well argued theory that human babies are born 3 months before term because humans walked upright before the adult female pelvis could really cope with childbirth and if we'd remained on all fours then birth would be physiologically a lot easier.

So think of any child born at 40 weeks as 3 months premature. It helps you get your head round it.

After having my first DC I would have said that I was an attachment parent. I breastfed, we co-slept, did baby wearing, baby lead weaning, etc. Then along came DC2 who had feeding issues so bottle fed from quite early on, slept in a cot, preferred the pram or car seat to the carrier, spoon fed when weaning. Turns out I wasn't an attachment parent, I had an attachment baby. What I am is a parent who responds to their babies needs.

If it feels easy it's because you're doing what's right for your baby, yourself and your family. If it feels difficult, then change it. But if it's not broken don't fix it. You're doing great 😊

Thanks everyone, I'm definitely doing the right thing it seems. And yes we're all really happy, need to stop comparing myself and just go with it

You're not doing the wrong thing. What you're doing now may not be the right thing for you in future (eg baby carrier - at some point they get too heavy to walk to sleep) but you can just address it then.

You can't spoil a baby, don't worry! Your job at this age is to give her what she needs

Hey friend,

Love hearing that other mothers are carrying their babies all the time and cosleeping. My little one has definitely spent more of his life being held than not (9 weeks though) and I'm going to keep being available for this until he doesn't want to.

Sling is my lifesaver. I'm also significantly more active than before I had him (dancing while doing everything - including typing this) which is pretty fun - even at 3 am when I'd much rather be asleep and he needs to be danced to sleep before coming back to bed with me.

You're absolutely not alone.

P.S Lucky baby!! DH and I wondered what about being carried about everywhere was so excellent and gave each other a turn, including bouncing and jiggling, and it is honestly so relaxing. Give it a go if you have anyone willing to carry you about for a bit.