Mum (Nana) feeds toddler chocolate and biscuits are day!

[Musomama1]

Essentially that. My mum has really supported us with our LO over the last two years, and has him for some of the day once a week, at her house.

Things have broken down over the last six months that she literally only feeds him biscuits and chocolate on demand! I think it's since LO has been able to communicate to her that he would like another biscuit, and a milky bar...and then this just goes on all day.

It's once a week, she does take him out, I'm hugely grateful she does what she does. And I do understand that part of the deal with free childcare is I have to accept what is happening.

I've just bought a motherload of healthy snacks from Aldi. I can live with him just having snacks on one day, but they can very easily be far less sugary - like rice cakes, yoghurts, toddler biscuits.

The problem is my mum doesn't understand things like rice cakes, has a real blind spot for all these 'modern' alternatives. And she can't say no to my LO's demands, thinking she's being cruel to deny him.

Should I not get too hung on it?

Tell her she will he cruel to help your dc get fat and have black teeth...
Tell her straight it's healthy eating or nursery will do it.

Is he also having proper meals (and eating them) on the days he’s at your mums? If yes then I’d probably let the once a week biscuit binge go. If he’s literally just eating sugary crap and no proper food then I’d stop the unsupervised visits and if you need to find paid childcare instead.

And I do understand that part of the deal with free childcare is I have to accept what is happening.
Either ask and brush his teeth well or use paid childcare.

@LakeShoreD

Is he also having proper meals (and eating them) on the days he’s at your mums? If yes then I’d probably let the once a week biscuit binge go. If he’s literally just eating sugary crap and no proper food then I’d stop the unsupervised visits and if you need to find paid childcare instead.

He has proper breakfast at ours and dinner with us in the evening. So my mum was only responsible for lunch but he hasn't been eating that lately as he can just ask her for more biscuits 🤣.

He has proper breakfast at ours and dinner with us in the evening. So my mum was only responsible for lunch but he hasn't been eating that lately as he can just ask her for more biscuits 🤣.

It's not really that funny, is it. If she's giving him crap to eat at the expense of him eating lunch, then she's neglecting his basic care needs. Personally I wouldn't be all that relaxed about that.

Would she have fed you like this? Ask her if not, why not? If she's not prepared to put her foot down with your child, you will have to.

*And I should add that, much as I love her, my DMum would be exactly the same. Despite being willing to, she doesn't provide childcare for us as a result.

@Santaischeckinglists

Tell her she will he cruel to help your dc get fat and have black teeth... Tell her straight it's healthy eating or nursery will do it.

Yes need to sit down and have a proper talk next week.

Yeah it’s not funny because he needs a proper lunch and she’s not meeting his basic care needs. Obviously you know your mum best but if you had a chat and she agreed to change, do you think she might just start lying to you instead? If it were me I think paid childcare instead would be the way to go and from now on visit mum together so you can say no when the biscuit tin comes out.

I'm having the same problem with my mom. She understands healthy etc but now that my son can say "more please" and "cookie" she's constantly giving in because "it's so cute" . It was jammie dodgers the other day!
To counteract it I restrict treats during the week as Thursday is Nanny day. He still eats plenty of veg and healthy meals I'd just prefer less sugar!

@GiltEdges

*And I should add that, much as I love her, my DMum would be exactly the same. Despite being willing to, she doesn't provide childcare for us as a result.

Financially we can't go a whole day of paid childcare yet, but this will change next year so it's not forever. Oh dear, wonder if loads of Dmums are like this?

I have a similar problem. As soon as my back is turned DH starts feeding my 8 month old cakes and muffins and swiss roll. DH insists that he is only giving him ‘a little taste’ goes on about how much the baby enjoys eating blueberry muffins.

PIL (usually, I’m on mat leave atm) have DD1 (3) for four days a week. They give her healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner but do allow her a lot of fruit, biscuits and puddings.

As it saves us a small fortune in childcare I let it go. We’d possibly have to rethink if she wasn’t getting the full meals, though I don’t know how we’d tackle that.