Ex been done for messaging someone under age

[sj14]

Hi just after a bit of advice, I was with my ex for 16 years then in June this year he got arrested for messaging someone under age, came
As a complete shock and obviously I left him. Didn't have any contact with him for 6 weeks until social services got involved for supervised visits with the kids. Daughter is 14 and son is 2.
I wasn't getting told much by anyone and he swore he didn't know the age so he was having supervised visits, last week the officer In charge of the situation rang me to say he will be getting charged this week and he definitely knew the age, my daughter don't want anything to do with him but I also don't want him having anything to do with my son, am I in the wrong for this? Is he able to fight me? When I told the officer I don't want him seeing him anymore she said I can't do that because he's the dad and he's safe because it's supervised. I just don't want anything to do with him or his family as his mum have lied about things too defending him so I don't trust them. It's obviously a stressful time and it's really affecting my mental health aswel as my daughters she's only just gone back to school after being home since June because of how she's feeling 

So sorry you've found yourself in this situation. Does your ex have parental responsibility for your son?

Either way, you can exercise your parental responsibility and stop contact completely if you want to and it would be up to your ex to go to the court to ask for contact if that is what he wants.

@Pleaseletitbenaptime

So sorry you've found yourself in this situation. Does your ex have parental responsibility for your son?

Either way, you can exercise your parental responsibility and stop contact completely if you want to and it would be up to your ex to go to the court to ask for contact if that is what he wants.

Thankyou for replying. Yeah he's on his birth certificate, I think he would take me to court Isit likely to go in his favour do you know? I just can't deal with any extra stress aswel as all of this.

It's hard to say but given his history I'm sure the court would be more sympathetic to your position. At the end of the day it would come down to what an assessment says is in the best interest of your children.

Can social services not help/give you some advice on contact?

am I in the wrong for this?
No

Is he able to fight me?
Unfortunately yes.

Get in touch with social services but even they don't hold much clout when it comes to the Family Court.

In all likelihood you will be on a hiding to nothing fighting supervised visits at least until the point he is convicted and you will probably just make your life more difficult by fighting it.

Your ex will never be left alone with his son, there will always be at least one social worker present, he will be restricted on what he can do.

I can understand you must be feeling very uncomfortable about this, but the last thing you want in that situation is to have the stress (and potentially cost) of getting involved in legal proceedings at this point. Talk to social services, Barnardos might also be worth a call, find out what your legal position is and potentially be willing to hold your fire until he is convicted.

The wishes of your 14yo should be taken fully in to account. She is old enough to understand what has happened. And if he is convicted, then the matter isn't going to be private - she may need support around this, and being forced to see him is likely to be highly counter-productive at every level.

Supervised contact with the 2yo is a different matter, and may well be granted.

Hi Thankyou for all your replies. So he's been charged and awaiting court, I told his family I don't want him seeing the kids and it don't look like he's going to try and fight me :)