Wicked step mother?

[2otheleft]

My 2 children go to their dads EOW for one night, this is all he sees of them. He's been married to his wife for a few years now. I've never met her. My ex is very secretive with his life, I don't know their address so I sure of where the kids go on the weekends.

My 11 year old daughter isn't allowed to take her phone there, she's told me her dad checks her pockets to see if she has it.

And tonight when they have returned from there, my daughter has told me that her dads wife has called her little brother mean names and swore at him. Calling him a little peace of st and an imature b*d.
Their dad wasn't a witness to this apparently as he was downstairs at the time.

I've asked him about it but he is ignoring the text and he won't pickup of I rang.

Just not sure what to do. They don't particularly like going their dads because they have to stay in their room the whole time.

Any advice on what to do? If anything...

Thank you

Wicked father for sure. Focus on that. He’s their parent and he’s not doing a good job from what you say.

Sorry about the typos....also forgot to mention she called them 'stupid and stupid' too
'oi, stupid and stupid, tidy up' this is what my daughter told me what the wife said to them

I would stop the visits.

They have to stay in their room!
No I would stop all visits.
Let him take you to court over it.
Write down everything your children have told you.
You need to put them first.

Well he isn't being their df is he? So stop the visits.
My df stood by and let his dw basically abuse me. . Wasn't allowed a drink. When df bought me a pasty I wasn't allowed a plate..
He allowed this. ..
Same as your ex is doing. Your dc are being silently abused..
I have been nc with my df for over 20 years.

This is from what my 11 year old has told me yes...but I don't know for sure what goes on at their dads. But she isn't one for telling porkies and I have warned her that everything she is telling me needs to be the truth because what she is saying is serious and it could be that she may have to tell someone else who will investigate it. She was adamant shes telling the truth.

I've never heard that term before silently abused, is that actually a thing?

Poor kids.

Dunno! But at 50 that's how I feel I was looking back. Sm did sly things to keep me and df apart - he was either too dim or just ignored it. And when I had dc she made him choose. He walked away from me and his dgc.
I once rang him. Asked for my df. She asked who was it?
I am an only dc..
Once asked for a sale item. Skint apparently..
Next week she said he had spent 300 quid on her...

Poor children

Listen to them if they don't want to go, at least until you can get to the bottom of it

I would message him again repeating your concerns in full and then say you won’t be sending them again until or unless he addresses the concerns.
Tbh I’d do my best to reduce the contact as much as possible. I also wouldn’t be comfortable sending them to an unknown address, staying overnight with an adult I’d never met. Sorry OP.

My kids wouldn’t be going if I didn’t know where they were.

But also, I had an evil step-mother yet I was never able to say it to my mum. She would say things to me when dad wasn’t there.
Please don’t make them go.

I agree with a previous poster. If he cannot respond nor address your concerns in regard to your children's safeguarding whilst in his "care" I'd not send them there. Let him take you to court. They will consider an 11 year olds feelings and he will be hard pressed to defend his ignoring your reasonable concerns . If he bothers that is