1st timer breastfeeding - am confused, please can I get some advice?

[SantasGotABigFatEllieG]

Right. Not sure where to start here, but will try and shape some of my confusion into sensible questions.
I really want to breastfeed my baby. I am 23 weeks PG and am just starting to look at what you do with a baby as opposed to what happens when you are PG info, and am getting v scared.

It says in the book I am reading that 3/4 hourly feed routines are designed with bottle-fed babies in mind, and that breastfed babies will need more frequent feeds - every 2 hours. Says will need to feed at least 10-12 times a day. It says that even if you get some kind of miracle and your baby sleeps well at night you should wake it up to feed in the night every 3 hours at least or baby will not get enough nourishment and milk will dry up. This will mean I will get NO sleep and I am very scared about that. I have problems with depression etc and although obviously I know that when you have a new baby you accept sleep goes on the back burner, but if I cannot even start to try to get the baby into some sort of routine after a few weeks I am worried I will get really down. How long is it before breastfed babies can have a feeding routine?

Also - sorry if TMI - I have very flat nipples - is that going to make breastfeeding difficult?

Also - if your milk doesn't come for a few days, how is your baby getting any nourishment?

Also - what can you do to stop it hurting?

When can you start expressing?

And is it OK to have a drink (I know not to have a whole load obviously) when BF? How much goes through to milk?

Answers on a (very big) postcard please?

I think its definitely advisable to try breastfeeding first, as its almost impossible to start it if youve been bottle feeding first. If I were you Id give yourself a period of time, such as 6 weeks or 3 months, whatever seems achievable, and if the going gets tough during that period, keep reminding yourself that you'll assess the situation when you get to the end of that period of time, and dont make any decisions until that time!! Lack of sleep makes everything seem hard, and breastfeeding is a skill that both you and the baby will have to learn...at times it can be really hard going and frustrating, and just reaching for the bottle (with formula in, not alcohol...although it is temping!) seems like the easy option. To be honest though, formula may seem like the easy option...and at 3 in the morning when the baby wont settle and youve been feedin for what seems like hours..it really does seem like the easy option...BUT it isnt! Im so glad I stuck with breastfeeding, as I just cant imagine having the time sterlise bottles and make up formula, and have to go all the way downstairs in the middle of the night to heat a bottle up whilst the baby is crying! No thanks!

Our dd sleeps in the moses basket next to my side of the bed, and she only feeds for about 7-10 mins in the night...some nights she wakes every three hours (shes 4 months but shes only tiny bless her!) and some nights shell sleep from midnight till 7am, shes very random! Ive never fallen asleep feeding her, although I did with my ds. So when dd was born, I got up and sat in another room to feed her in the night until I got used to waking, as its an awful feeling when you wake up after having fallen asleep feeding...ds had fallen off the breast both times and was lying alseep on his tummy across my lap! He could have suffocated or anything!

Regarding the flat nipple thing...one of my boobs has a flat nipple which my ds had no probs with, but my dd couldnt feed from at all...it took me 6 weeks to get her to accept it! It was very stressful...I just expressed on that side so that I didnt loose the supply. All babies are different and some take to breast feeding really well. My dd was struggling alot at first and lost alot of weight, she just didnt seem to know how to latch on at all. I would get as much help from the midwives as poss when in hospital and try and get it as perfected as poss whilst youre there, it'll give you a bit more confidence when you get home! I would also recommend a book...i think its called 'what to expect when youre breastfeeding, and what if you cant'...it'll give you a rough idea of what to expect. Dont feel like youre doing something wrong if some bossy know it all midwife/health visitor/breastfeeding counselor tells you it shouldnt hurt at all when it is! It can hurt, even with a correct latch. My nipples hurt both times until about 6 weeks, especially on the nipple which was flat. It also hurt when I expressed...and obviosuly that isnt a latch issue! I think some peoples nipples are more sensitive than others...but rest assured if it does hurt it wont last! And cream with lanolin in it is fantastic stuff!

Im so glad I stuck with breastfeeding as there were plenty of times I felt like giving up...but its the best thing I ever did! I love it, and will be sad when the day comes when I have to give it up! I would recommend to anyone to stick with it...its just amazin! Its a great feeling when I look at my dd and her little rolls of fat and I know that my milk did that!
Good luck!!

Ah that's nice mumof2pixies - good to hear it was a positivie experience for you in the end. Thanks for the tips x

hello!
just thought i'd add my thoughts on this. i've just reached 10 weeks of bf with my first baby, which is 9 weeks more than i thought i'd get to at one point!

Whatever people say - it will hurt sometimes - your nipples and boobs have to get used to a hungry babe munching away

You have to be stubborn and want to continue - cos just when it feels so hard, it suddenly gets a bit easier

3am is the worst time ever invented! Nipple shields are the best thing i came across (avent ones) they worked for me and helped me continue bf when i was about to give up...

Get lots of support - i'd never have managed without my dh and my sister. Although she lives miles away, her advice over msn and texting was invaluable

Good luck!

Hey Santa, 5 months ago my feelings were very similar to yours: worried about depression, lack of sleep and breast feeding.

Its going to be ok!

I read Gina Ford and was like 'oh crap...' but really its much more fluid and 'seeing what happens' when feeding on demand. May I reccomend the following:

• Stock up on food for freezer, loo roll, tins etc cos I really couldn't be bothered to do more than shop for fresh stuff.

• Don;t worry too much about feeding - you are entitled to lots of help. Find a nice support group - even watching others feed helps. Make sure your latch is good. LATCH LACTH LATCH - that's what its about.

*Remember that despite sitting on your bottom and watching TV, breast feeding is tireing so don;t feel guilty about lots of naps.

• Take every bit of help you can get - get a breast feeding slave (partner?).....for getting juice, reaching remote, taking baby for a little rest.

• Have fun! In the night, when you might feel a little sick with tiredness remember what a special job you're doing and tht it WILL NOT ALWAYS BE THIS KNACKERING.

Not an expert but recognised my own fears. All will be great

Congrautulations on your pregnancy.

I suggest that if you are worried about breastfeeding that you attend a breastfeeding support group like La Leche league before your child is born.

They can advise you on how to avoid many of the problems that breastfeeding mums can have. Most La Leche league groups also have a lending library of books on parenting and breastfeeding.

There is as many ways of parenting as there are mothers. Babies and breasts are all different and have different feeding needs. Newborn babies can vary massively in weight.

Ellie - I was worried about PND before I had DS last year as I have suffered from bouts of depression in the past.

I talked to my midwife about it so that people involved in my care would be aware of it. I also made sure that I got loads of support sorted out - my mum was fantastic. Practical support like helping out with washing, cooking, housework is great if you can get it in the early weeks (helps when you're knackered) but you also need emotional support - I found when DH and mum told me I was doing well, this really helped.

The Breastfeeding boards on MN are full of info and support. I found a local BF support group at my surgery helpful too.