Concerned for my 9 year old

[Coo5]

After advice please.....daughter is in Year 4 and struggling with friendships. She started from a very healthy point in Reception being a social butterfly and this continued to the first Lockdown.

Unfortunately the school she attends mixed the two classes and she returned to a class in Year 3, without any of her closest group.

More lockdowns followed, then several isolations and her confidence seems to have taken a battering.

She now has one super close friend from reception which has endured all the turmoil, but I can tell she hankers after a wider circle of friends again.

I am unsure how to approach or advise. I wonder whether to liaise with the school, or to let it all work itself out.

She is currently feeling quite miserable as she is now on a table with all boys for her lessons. She can hold her own, but should she be expected to. Just feel she needs a break to come her way.

Any suggestions welcome...

God I think you need to ask the teacher to move her. Nothing wrong with boys but no little girl wants that!

It's a funny age 9. Some of the girls will be heading towards being "more grown up" and others won;t...often it's a time of change.

Ask her if she'd like to invite any particular girls over. Tell her teacher she's having a hard time and you don't want her on a table full of boys!

I wouldn’t ask to move her- especially if she’s able at her work.
Maybe have lots of 1:1 play dates with both boys and girls so she has time to get to know them.

Why wouldn't you ask to move her Luch? This is a girl who wants more female friends but is stuck on a table with boys...kids notoriously like to be with at least one friend on their tables.

Well depends on why she is at that table. In our class there is streaming so she should be at a table with peers of her own ability. I was thinking of ways her mum could help her make friends with boys AND girls that might help her feel more settled.

Of course, ask to move her!

I'm a teacher and I'd definitely welcome a parent coming in to liaise about this. Do it today. No one will think you are over the top or 'that' parent.

I would speak to the teacher, there might be a valid reason why she is on that particular table, for example my son 9 is very popular and a bit of a chatter box, so his teacher moved him tables to all girl table (fortunately for him hes also the smallest in the class and all the girls think hes cute 😂) but he wasn’t chatting away with his mates and was actually getting his work done quicker, he wasn’t particularly happy about his new table but after speaking to his teacher I wasn’t gonna make him move my son because his school work was greatly improved, if there isn’t any particular reason why your daughter is on an all boy table then by all means ask her to be moved xx

Your child is at their table to learn and work - not socialise.

I have taught classes where seating plans have to be carefully thought out and reviewed regularly due onto the make up of the class and the way they interact. If a parent asked me to move their child in this situation I would be internally eye rolling.

I would speak to the school and fund out if it's an option to have her moved to a class with more of her friends. If it is then ask your daughter whether she would like that so she has some autonomy over the decision as that will make her feel empowered and give her some confidence in making decisions for her own well being xx