School run advice

[KnackeredKnickers]

Just looking for a bit of advice. I have a 7 month old and DD that has just started school. On the school run we pass another family, 2 girls, probably about 7 and 8, and their mum. We pass them on the school run most mornings and at the pick up, they go to a different school, we just cross paths.

The issue I have is the 2 girls often run up to DD and go for a cuddle, I was taken off guard as they don’t know us at all. I said to DD that she doesn’t have to cuddle them and that I will tell them no if needed , she’s says she wants to. I’ve just taken baby out of the carry cot and into a stroller and today the oldest girl goes up to him and starts stoking his face. I say nicely he’s got a cold so maybe she doesn’t want to touch his face. The mum then tells me her girl also has a cold and casually ‘that time of year’. Then why the hell are you letting her touch strangers babies?

I want to nip in the bud but want to do it politely as we pass them everyday.

Opinions on how you’d take it if I just outright said can you not hug DD/touch baby or am I being precious?

Not sure what the issue is. DD says she's happy with it, baby won't care. Older girls will probably lose interest at some point anyway.

They just sound like confident kids. And also really quite kind & caring 🤷🏼‍♀️ My DD has two year 6 buddies she’s made through after school club & I think it’s SO sweet they want to be her ‘friend’. Every morning they run up for hug, ask if she’s ok & tell her they’ll see her at lunch. My DD says they play together. I hope my DD has as much time for the little kids when she’s older! Our school really encourage friendships across the year groups which I think is nice. Your DD doesn’t sound remotely phased by these kids, I can’t see the problem really..

As for stroking your babies face, they are just imitating adult behaviour. I guess it’s a bit space invading but they probably just think they are being nice! Not really sure how to approach that one really .. 🤔

Sounds like really lovely interactions between the children! I wouldn’t discourage at all

Ime babies that are always surrounded by bigger dc settle into nursery and school so easy!!
At 3 my dc was known to all the Big Kids at the gate already!!

Yabu...they sound quite sweet.

Aw it sounds cute. You can pop the rain cover on the buggy if you don't want them touching the baby - I always used to use it when it was cold regardless of whether it was raining or not anyway.

Walk a different way 🤷‍♀️

Cross the road!

You stated what has happened but not what your problem is with it. If you don’t want them to touch your baby then say not touching, thank you.

I would have hated this, worried about germs being passed on, and people not having any boundaries. Is it normal to hug and touch strangers? How do you teach small children about stranger danger if you allow this?

@NellePorter

I would have hated this, worried about germs being passed on, and people not having any boundaries. Is it normal to hug and touch strangers? How do you teach small children about stranger danger if you allow this?

One of the downsides of Covid and keeping our distance from everyone is that we are losing our own natural immunity. Our bodies learn how to fight germs by being exposed to them. Everyone I know who’s had a cold this autumn has been quite poorly with it, because it’s been worse than usual - kids needing time off school, adults getting chest infections etc. Exposing your children to other children will help them develop a stronger immune system. So, let the kids hug! A hug is worth a fortune!!!

@soontobe60 this is nothing to do with Covid, my kids are much older now, maybe I should have specified, I would have hated this when they were that age. Pretty sure they got plenty of germs from their own class mates to build up immunity.

Yep, being precious.

If your children are happy with it I don't see any problem.

@NellePorter - these are 7&8 year old primary school children giving a fellow school child a hug. They are hardly stranger danger are you suggesting OPs child shouldn’t interact with older children in their school? In case of germs?! Or in case the 8 year is a dangerous threat?! C’mon! 😂

Fair enough if it’s an adult doing that, deffo stranger danger. But it isn’t. Did your kids never make friends with others in the park or softplay or anywhere?! Mine constantly do and run around holding hands and playing role play games etc 🤷🏼‍♀️

I suppose it’s a boundary thing on my part. I have no issue with her hugging a friend she made in a playground or after school club, but these children don’t attend the same school we literally just pass them walking in opposite directions.

When she’s made a friend on a day out, any interaction more likely to be on her terms as it is the other child/children. She can remove herself if she wants to.

There really isn’t another way to walk, here they just run up to her and hug her. There isn’t an ‘escape’ if you like, other than me saying no. I want her to learn boundaries, I don’t make her hug family members if she doesn’t want to. She says she doesn’t mind but I’m not 100% convinced.

I’m not against nice interactions between children but learning about consent starts now. May sound a bit left field but hear me out. I remember going to night clubs as a 18/19 year old and being grabbed, etc. I felt at the time ‘I don’t mind/should be flattered’ because I didn’t know any better and thought ‘this is just what happens’. Those consistent messages about consent and what’s ok start young. So I’ve been telling she’s doesn’t have to hug them if she doesn’t want to but it’ll be easier for her if their not just running up quickly and doing it. Hence saying something nicely to mum.

As for the baby, well I wouldn’t let DD touch a stranger’s baby without permission. They may be imitating behaviour and of course they have sweet intentions but that doesn’t make it ok not to ask. Baby has already had bronchiolitis and it’s horrible to watch. I don’t let family members over if they have stinking colds, let alone people in the street.