How is 1 to 2 compared to 0 to 1?

[SamanthaVimes]

Hi everyone
I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant with number 2 and am curious how other people found going from 1 to 2
In my head it can’t be as bad as going from 0 to 1 because we know so much more now but I’m not sure if I’m being naïve!

1-2 is easy because you’ve already had that big life change. 2-3 was a big shocker for me, much harder than expected!

The baby part is infinitely easier, because you’ve done it all before. There’s an adjustment period where you have to work out how to juggle baby and toddler/older child, but then it’s ok. We prioritised getting the baby into a bedtime routine early to have a couple of hours peace in the evening - lifesaver for sanity!

So much easier than I thought, 0-1 rocked our world.. obviously in a really good way but nothing can prepare you as you will know for the new life that comes with a child. You don’t need to go through all of that again, you’ve done it all before and you can do it again. Of course every child is different and I think with my second I feel things are much easier because he is a good sleeper, although we had other things to deal with like cmpa which I just didn’t prepare for.
Don’t worry it’s the best thing ever! I feel I was a little anxious with dc1, was sleeping with one eye open like ‘is she breathing ‘ 😂 but when dc2 came I was loads more relaxed and felt I could really enjoy x

My second is only 9 weeks old, but I have found the adjustment from 1-2 a lot easier than 0-1. The older one is 3 and he is so much harder work than the newborn, but she is a lot easier than he was as a newborn. But perhaps that's because I'm used to no sleep and only spending my day sitting on the sofa!

What’s the age gap? I think you never have that ‘omg’ shock that you have when you have the first but other things are harder especially if your first is still in nappies and/waking in the night/teething so 2 lots of nappy changes etc, more than twice as long to get ready to go out anywhere! So I would say different challenges to when you just have 1 but you’re already in ‘baby/kid mode’ so it’s not as much of a shock as first time.

Much easier second time round imo

@Sockpile

1-2 is easy because you’ve already had that big life change. 2-3 was a big shocker for me, much harder than expected!

I was going to say exactly this

This is all very reassuring

@Retrievemysanity my older one will be just 2 when the new one arrives assuming all goes well so a bit of a smaller gap than I would have liked but that ship has sailed now!

It was much less of a shock for us than 0-1. Our age gap was 19 months and while things got a bit hairy in the hour before bedtime for a while, in general we're really glad to have had them so close together.

Oh you have a small gap, fab! It will be great, you’re already in the thick of it.

I had a 2.5 year gap between 1&2 and it was heaven, but my eldest loves babies even to this day. 20 weeks with another one and the other 2 are 6 and 4 so might be a bit more of a shock after so long!

Worst thing was jealousy, other than that it was a breeze. 3 onward just slot in to life too, exhausting at times (early days and illnesses) but if you're organised it's not too bad.

It really depends on the children in question. Babies are completely different and their temperaments, feeding and sleeping habits etc make for profoundly different experiences of parenting. You're doubling the possible range of experience by adding another.

0-1 was like a grenade had been thrown into our whole world. I look back now and realise I was just surviving and didn’t really enjoy a lot of his first year. 1-2 was a piece of cake comparatively. The biggest issue we had was jealousy. At that point you’re already knackered, busy, never get a break etc. so it doesn’t feel like such of a shock. I was so sure for ages I only wanted 1 child but now we’ve got 2 I find myself thinking wouldn’t a third be lovely!

I found my small gap (the same as yours SamanthaVimes ) much easier than the bigger 3.5 year gap I had from 2-3. With a 3.5 year gap yes the older kids were fully out of nappies (night dry too through luck) but there schedules of school/ preschool/ football club/ friends to play/ bike rides/ were so incompatible with a breastfeeding, up all night baby! I was constantly having to drag the baby out when he was in the middle of a feed that had gone on for hours or had just fallen asleep finally.

With an only just two year gap its perfect because you set your own pace - two year olds don't have school, preschool or playdates (and if they do its arranged at your convenience).

It's about 4 times as difficult, but it also makes your realise how easy babies are compared to toddlers!

Tbh though, I didn't find 0-1 difficult, and didnt 1-2 either. When the second become mobile, I found movie baby + toddler far more difficult than any of those stages.

I had a three year gap and the second one was easy. He just had to fit in the routine of the older one so mostly ended up napping in the car during the day. She had to go to bed early as she was at nursery and wouldn’t go if he didn’t go so he rapidly learnt that 6.30 was bedtime. Not much free time for me during the day but blissful evenings.

I found 1-2 much easier than 0-1, but I had friends who thought the opposite. They were people with very small age gaps and easy first babies!

2y8mo between mine and I found 1-2 shockingly hard. 0-1 was a world rocker but you had time, energy, patience and one baby to care for.
By the time a second came around, a newborn almost felt alien again and I'd forgotten plenty in the mists of bottles, boobs, sterilising, nappies, happiness and not wanting to go back to work.

Juggling 2 was really hard for me and I actively looked forward to a return to work for a break!
Older DC loved the baby though and was very gentle. Now they're older (5&2.5) they're much more enjoyable!

Much easier

0-1 is a big life change

I found the baby part easy with second even though he wasn't as easy a baby as the first but I enjoyed it because I was more laid back. But definitely harder as toddlers and now primary school age... sibling rivalry and all

@MarshaBradyo

Much easier

0-1 is a big life change

Totally agree. Although baby is only three weeks old but it's been great so far. DD1 is 18 months old, she was pretty intense as a newborn but DS2 is so far very chilled. Phew!

Both equally hard for me I think, but for different reasons.
My first, I was young and terrified of everything.
My second, I knew what to do with babies but she was a lockdown baby and I’ve raised her alone from birth so knowing what to do hasn’t really made it any easier second time round.
Second baby is also an absolute savage who bites, smacks, won’t eat and has never slept more than 3 hours in a day… since she was born
Send wine

0-1 was a shitstorm but dc1 was/is an absolute force of nature.
1-2 was pretty easy but dc2 was/ is super chilled out and easygoing.
So depends on the baby/child!

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I found 1-2 100 times harder than 0-1. I was in shock for months. Only had a 16 month age gap which probably didn't help though!

Did make me realise though as others have said that babies are SO much easier than toddlers (and my second baby was much harder than my first but this was still the case).

But yes- I'm afraid I felt completely lied to by all the people who had told me that 1-2 would be easier. It's just been completely relentless.

I thought 1-2 was harder than 0-1.
I expected all hell to break loose with the first, but I was too complacent about adding another!