Adult child - relationship struggles/any experiences?

[Jem1603]

My son is 22yrs old and recently our relationship hasnt been good. His father passed away when he was 5 years old and I have been a single parent and not been in another relationship because my relationship with his father (an alcoholic) was very damaging and I have ptsd.
Our life has generally been enjoyable and active - lots of friends/family and holidays. I've worked, studied and supported him through uni.
He has recently started seeing a girl and it seems very serious - I like her she is sweet and intelligent. Comes from a large 'perfect' family and really loves my son - so I've been happy for them.

Just recently she started to talk about therapy she's having to deal with her abusive ex - and while we were all sat together discussing the current climate of women coming forward I mentioned some things about my own experiences. He seemed ok with it, because we have talked before about some of the issues - especially his father cheating on me - and he said his girlfriend knew everything.
I left 'the talks' until he was an adult because I didnt want to damage his confidence - I've seen my friends hate on their children's fathers for years and I know it's damaged them. However, I knew when the time felt right I would have to tell him because it has really affected me and my ability to form a new relationship.
However, long story short, he's returned to do his MA and has suddenly become very cold with me and I don't know how to deal with it. It seems it's ok to talk about misogyny, abuse, cheating etc if it's your girlfriend or friends - but if your mother was a victim it's different. To be honest I did tell him his dad loved him very much and was always a great father just not the best partner. Was it wrong what I did? And if so how do I remedy this - or can I ever. I feel really heartbroken that I have hurt him.

That is very sad. I think all you can do is ask him why he has changed his demeanour to you. If he was a teen I would say that he might be wrestling with some identity issues related to this. But being that bit older he should be able to talk to you.
It could be that there was a conversation between him and his gf later which cast what was said in a different light, it might be that it brought up some anger and sadness that he is finding hard to deal with and by association you're getting the cold shoulder.
I would continue to show him warmth and love as usual but gently bring up that he seems to be shut off from you and it's making you sad. Tell him that you'd like to resolve it of you can and ask him what might be behind it. Don't guess, just keep it really simple and tell him how you feel (in a nutshell) free from accusation.
He can either realise he is being unfair or he will have something to iron out, let him know if he needs to talk to you, you are happy to listen.
If he was deprived of his father at a young age that is bound to cause deep emotions even if they're not your fault.
Good luck, and be careful confiding in the gf until you know her better, it's nice to show understanding but she loves your ds and if she deems your choices to have damaged him she might judge, unfair as that is.

Thanks TopCats - it's really kind of you to respond.

He has been seeing his girlfriend about a year - he has had some addiction and mental health issues and I have been supporting him through it, however he said that he has talked to his gf and said they had talked a lot about me and she had highlighted where the issues were - I thought maybe she was right, and he needed to become a man and spend time away from me because it can't be easy going through your teens without a dad.
I really like her and want to think only the best but she wont spend time with me alone - I do think she was a bit surprised at how close we are. For instance, he was having a crisis one night and called me while she was there sleeping - I couldn't understand and asked him to wake her but he said he would be fine. I let it go, but I asked him if he could confide in her more to get the support he needs. She seems to have taken this on board.
The issues surrounding his father are very complex and sad so I know how difficult it is for him.