Am i overreacting??

[mamtobabyboy]

I just wanted to know if anyone thinks i am completely overreacting or overthinking this.

Basically, my partners mother has a lot of children of her own. Ever since i have had a child who is only a few weeks old at the moment, she seems to be taking over, and i mean completely taking over. Any time that I am at her house, she will take the baby and basically never hand him back to me. She will wonder around with him, change his nappy, take him off of me to "finish feeding him" AND she has also started to sit at the dinner table with him and eat whilst holding him. My partner and I do not do this at home but i feel like i have no place to say anything? The only time i have had him back was when he was absolutely breaking his heart crying and she made a comment saying something along the lines of "i don't know what you want i'm not your mummy" but then would still be very reluctant to hand him back over to me? She has also started saying that he's "he gorgeous boy" commenting over all of my pictures i post about him. She has also started to let him fall asleep on her and just continue to hold him but we also do not do this at home (i usually put him down after 20/25 minutes)!!!

I'm just not sure if I'm overreacting because it's genuinely making me very upset and my parent "doesn't want to get involved". I'm just more worried now that it's going to affect me and my parent because i'm getting upset over it and he's not wanting/willing to say anything. Oh, also i'm very nervous that's she is going to ruin Christmas Eve also as we are spending the morning/afternoon with her.

Please let me know your thoughts😣

When you are with her just don’t hand over the baby to her. It’s your baby and you shouldn’t feel forced to hand him over to anyone

Don't give her the baby. The baby is a few weeks old, how much time do you spend at hers??

@SleepingStandingUp

Don't give her the baby. The baby is a few weeks old, how much time do you spend at hers??

We see her twice a week and every time is the same. The thing that annoys me the most is that i'll be in the middle of feeding him a bottle and she will just grab him off me!

Stop seeing her! Sod that for a game of soldiers. He is YOUR child. Get a sling!

@mamtobabyboy
Hi OP. Obviously this is your first baby and you don't want to upset DPs family, you also sound as if you are not great at confrontation. These are Not criticisms.
You are the babys mother, you get to make the rules. I'm afraid that you will have to learn stand up for both you and your baby as your partner is not helping. There are a few weeks before Christmas so put your rules into place Now, so that by then she is used to them.
Firstly sit down with your dp and tell him what you have told us. Tell him that when you implement these rules you expect him to back you up.
Next go to his mothers and tell her.
MIL, I am sure that your wish to be close to baby comes from a good place and not from wishing to undermine me however if you want to have any sort of relationship with our baby you need to follow our rules. We do not sit at the table and eat over the baby. We put him to sleep at x o clock. We will not be carrying him around and neither will you or anyone else. I am sure that you understand that as a new and relatively anxious new mum I will be looking for your support when I need it. I am sometimes tired and tearful and as a mature woman I know that you can see this. However, if I do not ask for you to feed/change/take baby I do not expect you to do this. If you are holding baby and I tell you I wany him back I expect this to happen straight away. If we are with you and you will not respect our rules, WE WILL LEAVE. Thanks for your consideration
You could put this in a letter if not confident to say it .
But be warned if you let her get away with it she will continue forever. 💐

You definitely have a place to say something, he is your child.
Honestly if you let it continue when your already feeling the way you do it will only escalate and get worse.
You need to put firm boundaries in place now or it will be harder to do so in the future.
Next time she tries to take him from you tell her no, that YOU are feeding your child and will let her know when if at all she can hold him and that when she does and you want him back she is to hand him straight over.
Your partner needs to grow a backbone and support the mother of his child instead of sitting back and not getting involved.

[quote notthemum]@mamtobabyboy
Hi OP. Obviously this is your first baby and you don't want to upset DPs family, you also sound as if you are not great at confrontation. These are Not criticisms.
You are the babys mother, you get to make the rules. I'm afraid that you will have to learn stand up for both you and your baby as your partner is not helping. There are a few weeks before Christmas so put your rules into place Now, so that by then she is used to them.
Firstly sit down with your dp and tell him what you have told us. Tell him that when you implement these rules you expect him to back you up.
Next go to his mothers and tell her.
MIL, I am sure that your wish to be close to baby comes from a good place and not from wishing to undermine me however if you want to have any sort of relationship with our baby you need to follow our rules. We do not sit at the table and eat over the baby. We put him to sleep at x o clock. We will not be carrying him around and neither will you or anyone else. I am sure that you understand that as a new and relatively anxious new mum I will be looking for your support when I need it. I am sometimes tired and tearful and as a mature woman I know that you can see this. However, if I do not ask for you to feed/change/take baby I do not expect you to do this. If you are holding baby and I tell you I wany him back I expect this to happen straight away. If we are with you and you will not respect our rules, WE WILL LEAVE. Thanks for your consideration
You could put this in a letter if not confident to say it .
But be warned if you let her get away with it she will continue forever. 💐[/quote]
Thank you for this!

I definitely do not have the confidence to confront her but i definitely will try to stand my ground!

I do understand that it is difficult to speak up when you are not used to it. I have great faith in you OP. You can do this. We all have your back. Moan to us anytime but for both your sakes Stand up to her.
Good luck