If you have a four year old, can they...

[BlueSoul]

Go into a shop with you and just stand next to/near you, fairly still ish for about 5 mins?

I know grown up shopping is a bit dull for a four year old, but needs must sometimes. And my son is constantly moving away/around, touching things, etc etc. I'm trying to work out if this is something I should be worried about.

At school he is apparently perfectly capable of standing still in a line and in lessons. In shops this just goes out of the window!

My DS4 can. My DD3 can but any longer than 5 mins and she gets irritated x

My DS (now 7) couldn’t at that age. Even now he would struggle though he is much better. School has flagged concentration issues as a concern but he isn’t diagnosed with anything and they have said he’s been improving especially this year.

4 year old can. 3 year old not a fucking chance.

My DS can but hit and miss really. What I find super effective is asking him to help me- hold the list, find this, fetch that, push the trolley, hold the basket, pick this one or that one...of he has a task to complete and feels he helping he will focus and that stops the wandering off/touch things/meandering along and bumping into people.

When my ds2 was 4 and I had the temerity to be distracted from him for a minute he hid in a display bathroom cupboard in b&q. Longest ten minutes of my life.

Maybe on a good day but there's a reason I prefer solo shopping!

Stays next to me yes but doesn’t stop talking!!! Swap you

If there’s nothing really interesting nearby and I can engage him in conversation yes but frequently it’s a no.

Yes, he knew from a very young age to hold onto the pram or hold my hand, so yes he could.

Depends on the shop. My 3yo DD is an angel in Asda food shopping. She'll stay right by my trolley being good the whole time, sometimes telling me if her legs are tired and she wants to sit in the seat. If it's a clothes shop though she will not abide me trying anything on. She turns into a whingey terror. She doesn't run off or anything though...

My 2 year old and 4 year old both can and do, they wouldn’t leave my side and know not to touch anything. They might ask if we can go and do something else after a while. I always get compliments on how well behaved they are which to be honest I always thought was just people trying to be nice but based on this thread maybe they are being genuine! I know they are very well behaved (I’m pretty strict) but I didn’t think unusually so!

No help here as DD1 is just about to turn 3, but you’ve just all filled me with horror thinking about a time when she won’t fit in the seat in the supermarket trolley!

Years ago when DD1 was a baby I went clothes shopping with a friend and her 3 year old. I silently judged her for the fact that she strapped this giant child into a buggy and gave him a tablet to watch a movie on.

Now DD1 is nearly 3 I think she’s a bloody genius.

Sort of. She's fine if I keep talking to her. If not, she'd get fidgety and start swinging in my arm or something.

DC1 yep totally fine
DC2 HAHAHAHAHAH no

Thank you for all the replies, I feel so much better now!!

My 6-year-old can, my 4-year-old can’t- just like my 40+ year-old husband who fidgets and then wonders off.

No 😂 She's generally a gd child and reasonably does what she's told but in shops she can't help but fidget, touch things and be a general pest (to me). Sometimes tries to climb the counter when I'm paying for stuff 🙈 she does stop when I ask but then moves on to doing something else she shldnt!

My 5 year old could. My three old can now. Like pp said I get compliments on them which I thought was just people being nice. Although I think it depends on what you mean as still. Mine need to stay close to me (it used to be holding the pushchair but they stay close enough to be safe), if we go past toys or something interesting 9/10 times I'll stop and let them look. I usually get them to 'help' like scan at the self checkout or put things in the basket. If I know it's a long boring shop I'd usually let them pick out a pack or sweets or something to have at the end.

Is it just the shops he's like this in? Or just certain shops? Like can he wait nicely at the doctors waiting room or waiting at traffic lights for a green man or similar when out and about?

It might be that he just doesn't like that particular shop or he knows it's got some exciting things that he gets too excited about.

Mine 9, 7 & 4 can’t. Complete nightmare if I try shopping with all 3. One at a time is best and always have something for them to focus on. Even if I don’t need a trolley I get one and 4yo goes in it with my phone. Or give them something to focus on a pack of sweets or something or give them a job.

It depends on the day. Some days yes he'll be fine. Other days a total nightmare, he doesn't run off but has to touch everything and complain.

My DD4 is more than capable... but shops are just too tempting. She loves to touch everything and comment on everything. If we were outside and I stopped to talk to a friend, she would be fine.