My toddler has weaponised his scream

[pinkgin85]

I know toddlers scream, but mine is on another level. He doesn't cry when he's angry, he screams at the top of his voice and boy does he have a set of lungs on him. He's 22 months.

We can't really take him out in public too much, he wants us to put him down so he can run off and when we don't he screams and screams bloody murder.

Last night we fancied a takeaway so ordered it for collection. DH took him with him to pick it up. Food was meant to be ready by 7:50pm but when he got there it wasn't. And then toddler wanted to be put down but DH wouldn't so he starts screaming. DH said the entire restaurant was looking at them and he'd never seen the staff move so fast, they were working like headless chickens to get their food ready so they could get him out of there

Anyways, when will this stop? He also screams when he wants anything from older DC and we're all his hostages basically

I know this sounds a bit far out but…

I would recommend watching a few episodes of Dogs Behaving Very Badly. Almost every episode includes a dog that runs off and won’t come back or that pulls on the leash. Instead of holding him to stop him from running off, you could try the ‘long leash’ training technique that Graeme Hall uses with his dogs to train your toddler to come back to you when you call him, or at least train him to walk nicely on a leash.

Also make sure he gets enough exercise - in my opinion lack of exercise is a major cause of behaviour problems in toddlers. Toddlers typically need at least three hours of exercise per day, in some cases up to 12 hours depending on the breed.

I think you all need to turn your back and walk out of the room as soon as he screams totally ignore it like you can't even hear him. Soon as he stops go to him and give him attention. He will soon learn. Have you tried a backpack with lead type thing for when you are out. If you are at the park and he screams just give one warning stop or we go home. The second he does it again you leave straight away no negotiations. You have to be strict about it and stick to your guns. You are In charge not him. Good luck

I know exactly what you mean and really feel for you but don't really think it was a good idea to take a toddler out at that time of night when you know he's an escapologist!

We had a running phase and used a harness for it. Didn't take long for it to pass but at keast they can be safely put down that way.

Not judging but maybe some behaviour issues are sleep related. 22 month okds are usually asleep at 7.50. Earlier bed times are usually linked to better sleep and better behaviour. I know this isn't always the case as my 3 year old goes to bed super late, but this isn't the norm for most kids.

You need to stop the screaming asap. We always left the room whej it happened and made sure whatever they wanted was not received. They soon learnt screaming achieved nothing so it stopped.

Good luck! Ifs all easier said than done

Our 2.5 DD is exactly the same, she is lovely and kind and quiet at pre-school but when she decides she’s not doing something that we want her to do (put shoes on, get in the car, get dressed) then she screams in an absolute rage! She shakes as she gets so angry. I normally go down to her level and try talking to her, ask if she would like a cuddle. Most of the time though she has gone too far and just keeps screaming and I have to carry her away screaming. She is my 4th child (none of the other 3 did this!!) so I feel confident and don’t get embarrassed if people are looking. People mostly give a knowing smile or try to help - most people have been in the same situation or similar……it’s just a phase and it will pass! Good luck!

Yeah my now 4yo was like this. On more than one occasion his blood curdling screams brought our local Tesco to a complete standstill as everyone turned to look. I don't know what helps really, other than time! He doesn't do it anymore. 2yo is a very trying age! I do remember we basically didn't eat out at all that year and took lots of walks in the open air so at least if he did start screaming other people could escape. My second is now 2 and I'm awaiting the onset of the mammoth tantrums.....

Taking a screamy toddler out close to bedtime? That was never going to go well.

Normally, I'd either ignore (in the house) or give immediate natural consequences (out of the house). Scream and either don't get what you want or get exactly what you don't want.

I had a squirming runner and reins and lots of exercise helped.

Headphones for at home.

The good thing is when it comes to young kids - almost everything is a phase.

Mine isn’t a screamer but went through a really hard phase of biting and slapping around 18-20 mths

Using Time outs, saying NO. That hurts mummy. Etc. Seemed to work to phase it out but it’s a power play on their part and it does pass.

Also. Taking him out after 7.30pm and expecting him to behave? That was a school boy error come on!!

@cherrypie66

I think you all need to turn your back and walk out of the room as soon as he screams totally ignore it like you can't even hear him. Soon as he stops go to him and give him attention. He will soon learn. Have you tried a backpack with lead type thing for when you are out. If you are at the park and he screams just give one warning stop or we go home. The second he does it again you leave straight away no negotiations. You have to be strict about it and stick to your guns. You are In charge not him. Good luck

Id say this is good advice. One of mine was a screamer. If they did it in public I’d put my hand over their mouth to dampen the scream down. They could still breath through their nose. Was quite effective to stop it. With a firm no.

7.50 pm isn't necessarily late, depends on what your routine is normally. Not all toddlers need a super early bedtime. Mine were never in bed before 8 pm and it didn't negatively affect their behaviour.

He sounds frustrated to me, especially if he'd not getting to go out much. How's his speech?

I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry about people looking at you. My 17month hold has tantrums where he arches his back and screams but I don't want to not go out because of it.

Toddlers really do need to run off though don't they? That's all mine does. He loves just running about in an open field or park.