Grandparents!

[Wayne86]

So, I totally understand that I am a bit of an overprotective parent, but I feel like my own parents are at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Ever since my son was born there have been ongoing comments and complaints from their side, rear facing car seats are stupid because they never used them, why I'm being a bad parent by not giving my 10 month old chocolate, etc.
Today I found out that they let my 3 year old run up and down the stairs unsupervised! Am I overreacting this time, or is it reasonable to expect that a 3 year old should be supervised on the stairs? The idea of him tumbling down the stairs and colliding with baby gates/coat stands etc totally freaks me out!

I do not have a three year old but if you're asking them to supervise him on the stairs and they aren't then that's out if order in my opinion.

Also rear facing seats definitely aren't stupid, have you told they why rear facing is better? I honestly don't understand how they could disagree

I have a 3yo and she goes up and down the stairs by herself unsupervised sometimes, she's got full run of the house so that wouldn't bother me in the slightest. We only had a stair gate on her room for a while because I was worried she'd fall down the stairs if she got out of bed in the night. She hasn't so far.

Things like RF car seats is just a generation thing I think- we were all slung in carry cots on the back seat in the early 1980s so it's a complete shift to now.

My 3 year old went up and down the stairs all the time because I had taught them to do so safely: I don’t think the issue here is that the grandparents let her do it, I think the bigger question is why do you not?

Do you parents child mind for you?

Chocolate and car seats I can understand from both points of view, things have changed massively since they had children but I wouldn’t want them to go against my opinions.

However, I would expect a three year old to be able to go up & down stairs fairly confidently and safely.

My almost three year old has had free run of the stairs for months now. She knows how to go up and down safely, though often prefers to pretend to zip line down, Paw Patrol style. So that’s a non issue i think.

Car seats and stuff can’t you just nod and smile and let it go?

Stairs in other houses aren't always like your stairs! At 3 our ds was just starting to use them alone. Odd set out in our house and ddogs (tripping hazzards!)..and also depends what's up those stairs!! Ex mil had a big window always open and fil's pills on the bedside table.
. Both of which mil was sure dc wouldn't go near... Not risking it you daft bat!!
Dc never stayed there without us.

The car seats and the chocolate are not good, but I got rid of the stair gate not long after my kids turned 2.

a normal 3 yr old is perfectly capable of going up and down stairs by themselves unsupervised. Mine all did. When they were taking themselves to the toilet (also all by themselves, unsupervised)

Such a non issue sorry.

Advice is ti get rid of stair gates at 2 years old. A three year old should definitely be able to mange stairs unsupervised.

But it isn't up to ils to make that call.

Car seat, they can have an opinion as long as they actually use the car seat you chose.

Chocolate for a 10 month old. Meh? Presuming they aren’t giving him a huge bar.

An average three year old would using stairs unsupervised

Of course they can have an opinion on the car seat, but they must use one, as their opinion must not be based on the facts of safety.

Yes they need to respect you not wanting your baby to have chocolate. Our DS didn't have it until after he was 2, i didn't care what others opinions were, our kid, oue rules, if you cant respect our choices then stay away.

And the stairs is a funny one. Our DS could navigate stairs with great ease at 3, did we let him run up and down them..no. Although at other people's houses we probably did watch him up them first time, i do think some stairs are steep etc. But again, they need to respect what you ask, if they can't be trusted to do that, they dont get trusted with the kids, full stop.

You would have had a fit watching my son then! From the age of 18 months he slid down stairs backwards feet first every time. He was self taught! At 3 I would expect less direct supervision.

Stairs depends on how able your DC is. Honestly, by 3, if a child wasn’t able to navigate stairs I would be making that a priority and making them practice as much as possible

Does your child have difficulty with stairs? My 2yo has used them unsupervised for a long time. In fact we don't have stair gates. If you are worried then ask them to supervise him but don't have a go at them about it.

Car seats are a completely different issue! Mine rear face to 4 and I know lots do for longer.

'Commenting' on things that seem strange isn't that odd or unusual.
As long as they use the seats you provide if they take them out in the car, they can have an opinion.
Sweet treats - not worth getting worked up about. Grandparents from time immemorable have treated Grandchildren to things that they wouldn't have given their dc.
Stairs - yes, all mine could / did use stairs by themselves at 3 yrs old.

Are these things arising when you pop in for a visit, or are they childminding him?