When did you start putting your baby 'down'?

[blondie887]

How old was your baby when you started putting them to bed early in the evening, then just using the monitor? I.e when did they get their own bed time?

At the moment we keep our 5 week old down with us in the lounge and only put him to bed (Moses basket) next to our bed when we go to bed. Not sure when this will (should?) change!

It’s worth saying as well that if you look at the lullaby trust evidence base document (I read this when trying to decide if co sleeping was worse than the risk of me falling asleep holding him when the 4 month sleep regression hit) they say that studies show the risk seems to be highest for babies left alone for naps in the day, they don’t know why but I’ve known a few people who keep their babies with them all night but put them in a separate room to nap which is potentially more dangerous.

Also the thing about well they won’t hear my breathing over the TV, the hearing us breathe thing is a theory, there’s also some thought about the carbon dioxide we produce breathing out having an effect. They don’t really know why it seems to reduce risk, but it does. If it’s about them not sleeping as deeply, then the TV/other noise will help even though they can’t hear you breathe. Thinking your baby can’t hear you breathe is not a valid reason to put them in their own room.

Those facts include the fact that sharing a room with your baby can halve the risk of SIDS.

Around 6 months as per advice

@Ozanj

Message deleted by MNHQ

This grinds my gears too.

If people bothered to look at the stats, sleeping in the same room is way down the list of contributory factors in SIDS. Smoking, alcohol and sofa sleeping come out top, but posters on here NEVER mention it and harp on about being in the same room as if its the the only factor.

Around 4 months i think, he would sleep 6-7 hours and then BAM up every hours from 6-11 months at which point we co slept. From around 13 months he has consistently gone "down"

That’s not true about the sofa, sleeping on a sofa increases the risk of sids by 50 times, it doesn’t say 50% of sids cases happened on a sofa. And as PP pointed out, that quite clearly states that sharing a room can halve the risk of sids. Not every poster has said they know some whose baby died of sids, I find it unlikely that someone would lie. It is rare, far far rarer than stillbirth, but it does happen and no one is trying to scare the OP, but be honest about the risks and their own experiences.

I guess it depends on what risk how ever small you're willing to take? Sleeping alone under 6 months was not a risk i was willing to take despite not having any other risk factors at all for sids. No judgement on anybody that took that risk how ever small as we all have to do what is best for our given situations and lives.

To be fair if someone posted I’m thinking about having a fag and a class of wine and sleeping on the sofa with my baby I think posters would advise against that as well, it just doesn’t tend to come up whereas room sharing is quite a common topic!

Ours started the witching hour when he was maybe 8 weeks when he'd go bananas from about 8pm and we realised it was because he was tired and we needed to start putting him to bed properly in a quiet room. Quite a few of our friends found the same stage.

When he was a baby he napped but didn't go to bed until I did. I was up earlier than him so I could shower and dress, get breakfast started before him
^ same as my DC 0-12 months

When they outgrew moses basket and were disturbed by the telly. I've learnt babies are good are letting you know when they're ready for new things/outgrow old ones.

[quote Ozanj]Amazing how so many people know a baby that’s ‘died of SIDs’ when it’s so fucking rare. Stop lying to OP to make a point. No more than 100-240 babies die of it per year in the UK and the vast majority have the known risk factors of prematurity / smoking parents / young mums / being put on their front to sleep against medical advice. 50% of cases could have been prevented by babies not being put to sleep on the sofa.

These are the facts if anyone is interested

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/professionals/statistics-on-sids/[/quote]
I wish I was lying about a dead baby and that it had never happened. What a nasty thing to accuse people of. Little A died last year and it's still a horrific shock my all who knew them. He died alone in his room and it's a risk I would never ever take with my children.

@Blackmagicqueen

I guess it depends on what risk how ever small you're willing to take? Sleeping alone under 6 months was not a risk i was willing to take despite not having any other risk factors at all for sids. No judgement on anybody that took that risk how ever small as we all have to do what is best for our given situations and lives.

Exactly this.

I think im just irked by the evangelical stance some have of sleeping in the same room.

The entire subject should be understood and informed decisions that work for differently families made.

Day one when we got back from hospital ... over 20 years ago & I don't recall the advice being so 'strict' in those days ... although sadly I do know of a baby that died from 'cot death' around that time but he was in the same room as his DPs when he died.

My DS settled very easily and slept well 7pm-7am with one very quick night feed, I am sure it was just luck but we never had a disturbed night.

Ours were in our room from birth they were alone with the monitor on. Obviously when tiny they would wake to feed, then I would generally go to bed after the 10:30 feed.

Accusing people of lying is just horrid. No one has been nasty to the OP at all, just giving our different views and experiences at different times etc as requested.

** This grinds my gears too.

If people bothered to look at the stats, sleeping in the same room is way down the list of contributory factors in SIDS. Smoking, alcohol and sofa sleeping come out top, but posters on here NEVER mention it and harp on about being in the same room as if its the the only factor.**

It’s disgusting how people on this forum twist things just to prove a point. The truth is most of these SIDs death probably did occur in the same room. I still get tears in my eyes remembering a MN poster describing how her DD died in the cot next to their bed. SIDs deaths are a tragedy when they occur - people shouldn’t be cheapening this just to tighten the screws on a poor mum asking for advice

@Flittingaboutagain

Accusing people of lying is just horrid. No one has been nasty to the OP at all, just giving our different views and experiences at different times etc as requested.

Lying about sids deaths just to prove a point on a thread where mum is asking for advice is evil.

@Magicalwoodlands

Those facts include the fact that sharing a room with your baby can halve the risk of SIDS.

How does it halve the risk - is the assumption that you would notice if the baby stopped breathing?

Why are you so convinced people are lying to prove a point I find this really odd?!

It's not at all unlikely for a single poster on a thread with 68 posts on it to have known of a baby who died of SIDS. It could have happened years ago and of those couple of hundred a year, many people will have known or heard of those individual babies. People with experience of SIDS are also likely to feel more strongly about adhering to safe sleep guidance, so more likely to click on a thread.

My mum had a brother who died of SIDS, although not in a situation relevant to modern safety guidance, it was the 1950s and he had cerebral palsy caused by a mismanaged birth, so not quite the same situation although desperately sad for my grandparents.

CloudPop we don't know why. It's just statistical evidence. Nobody knows the cause of SIDS so we don't know how certain things reduce the risk, we just know that they do.

Because nobody really knows why SIDs happens, when it does happen all the factors surrounding that death are accounted for. Thats how the guidance is worked out. Sofas, alcohol and smoking are up there in the factors, sleeping in the same room comes maybe half way down the list.

I just feel like sleeping in the same room is used as a tool to make parents feel guilty and scared. Whereas in reality families need to make informed decisions on whats right for them. If thats not sleeping in the same room - great. If that means otherwise - fine, as long as people are informed enough.

@Ozanj

** This grinds my gears too.

If people bothered to look at the stats, sleeping in the same room is way down the list of contributory factors in SIDS. Smoking, alcohol and sofa sleeping come out top, but posters on here NEVER mention it and harp on about being in the same room as if its the the only factor.**

It’s disgusting how people on this forum twist things just to prove a point. The truth is most of these SIDs death probably did occur in the same room. I still get tears in my eyes remembering a MN poster describing how her DD died in the cot next to their bed. SIDs deaths are a tragedy when they occur - people shouldn’t be cheapening this just to tighten the screws on a poor mum asking for advice

Since I'm the poster who has been personally affected by SIDS what have I twisted?