Hi, I’m wondering if anyone can give me advice about speaking with a 7 yr old about why his dad was sectioned and subsequently diagnosed with bipolar.
We live separately to his dad (currently divorcing after being separated for five years) due to abuse that began after our son was born. After trying unsuccessfully to get my husband mental health care I left to keep our son safe.
I never speak against his dad. I’ve just said he is unwell and unable to look after him but isn’t it great that they have such fun playing together when they see each other.
My sons dad was sectioned in May and when he was out of hospital we visited in July. It was a difficult visit - his paternal grandparents are critical and my son spent the whole time trying to please everyone. He was visibly relieved when we got home again. He has a great relationship with my parents and a safe, loving home. He is usually a very happy child with lots of friends and interests. Recently he seems angry and this is not like him.
He would normally speak with his paternal grandparents and dad once a week on video call and although I may have to persuade him he usually complies. However this past month he has refused to speak to them.
I say they “just want to hear about your day because they love you” and he says he’s never talking on the phone again. He hangs up on them as soon as I leave him with the phone (they don’t like me to be present). It’s becoming increasingly apparent to me that it is me who is keeping contact going. This is becoming more difficult due to his dad not paying child maintenance and the day to day juggling of school, work and out of school activities. I wonder if my son is beginning to be aware of this also.
I think it is time to speak to him further about the situation so he can process his feelings but I don’t want to hurt him or say the wrong thing.
I would welcome any thoughts or advice. I’ve looked for books but there seem to be more about mims with bipolar than dads and I don’t want to confuse him.
Thank you.