Am i being silly over thinking?

[Hayleydobedoo]

Hi all

Really feel silly posting this but i overthink things and have to ask an opinion, so I have a 9 month baby, i work full time, i have a partner who is amazing with him cant do enough for me and him, i enjoy being a mum 100% he is a blessing to us all, weekends we get out tbe house as much as possible, goes to the park, farm, soft play, we do lots of stuff with him. I have struggled with self care etc since having him and make more of an effort now to do things for me for my sanity and because i have the luxery of my partner to look after him if need be, basically i used to sew and had an etsy store i haven't had time sincr having him but i do buy vintage clothes upcycle them give them new life and post on my instagram, doesnt take me long to do the pics like half hr or so, i do when hes alseep or with mt partner its a hobby of mine but feel bad for having one?! I do my chores hes looked after etc its just something for me, i spoke to someone at work they basically said they have 0 time and dont understand how anyone can have time for themselves, they have one child also and said they have 0 time for a bath let alone anything else, all depends on our life style and how we manage time etc I dont know but made me feel like im not doing enough for him if i have a little time for me?! Or that im doing something wrong by having a little me time? Am i being silly? This is my first baby I feel like im managing well so far but this has made me doubt myself x

You're being silly. It sounds perfect. Enjoy.

Of course you're not doing anything wrong! Your baby is asleep or with his dad whilst you sew. You are still a person with interests as well as a mother. Having a hobby is good for your mental health and therefore good for your family. It is also good for your son to see you have a crafty hobby as he gets older. He might like to learn about it and have a go.

Some women have 'zero time' because they have shit husbands/partners who don't pull their weight in the house and with the children.

You have a good partner who's doing his share. Of course this frees up time. Of course you should use that time doing something that makes you happy.

Please show us some of your projects

Nothing is suffering from you having a hobby, you're not doing it night and day. Enjoy it. I took up cross stitching when I had my first, every night when the kids are in bed, house tidy, I sit and stitch and watch TV. My first baby is 21 soon and I'm still doing it every night.

OP, I was widowed with two babies and a job as a hospital doctor. I still had time to knit as a hobby - everything from jumpers for the babies to an entire knitted nativity set! It was something to do in the evenings when they were asleep.
You need time for yourself, you are a human being, not a household appliance.
Try to get a babysitter and have some nights out, too. It's good for your own wellbeing and morale.

Absolutely you’re not doing the wrong thing! I think it’s so important to have your own interests, of course having a supportive partner helps as well. I go to yoga and I go running and that really helps me. I think as kids grow up it’s so good for them to see that you have interests, it’s something to share with them! My own mum had no hobbies when I was a child and now we don’t really do anything together because we never developed any shared interests, whereas me and my dad are much closer and that largely down to things we both like doing. Keep going I wish I could sew!

You're doing fine.

It's important to make time for you. You are important in your own right, and deserving of time and consideration, and you will also be a better mother and partner if you are happy in yourself.

Kids need attention but not 24/7, they need space too. And as they get older boredom is good. Over parenting is not a good thing.

Having a partner who does their bit is not a luxury, it's as it should be, although of course it's good you have that.

As for your colleague... perhaps they have a shit partner, or no partner / be disorganised / have the baby from hell / suffer from anxiety or other health problems / enjoy keeping themselves busy doing nothing / or just enjoy being a martyr. Anyway they aren't your problem, and your lifestyle is better.