Meal times are a nightmare with my almost two year old. Tips needed!

[Pregnant02]

In a nut shell: meal times with my almost two year old are horrible. Each meal results him in crying, misbehaving and kicking off.

He hasn’t sat in a high chair in a year so uses a booster seat attached to a normal chair so we can all sit at the table together. Despite having the straps done up on it he manages to get out every single time, no matter how tight they are. He then spends the meal up and down, crying and shouting.

He will often have his plate put in front of him, take one look and say “done” and push it away. We then allow him to get down but he doesn’t go and play he’ll cry at the stair gate between the dining room and lounge.

Yesterday he started grabbing handfuls of food and messing around with it, then threw his cutlery etc. When this happens we take away his meal but no end up giving it back as I don’t want him to go hungry.

It just feels like every meal time is such a battle and I’d just like to eat my dinner in one go. We have just got a little table and chair for him so will try this but any other advice or tips would be great! I just feel like we’ve got it so wrong 😫

Have you tried getting him involved in the cooking or having a self serve meal? (like all the stuff in the middle and he chooses what goes on his plate)

When he gets down and starts crying at the gate what do you do? I’ve been through this stage with both my DC (my youngest is still in it) and I mostly find that the less attention I give his behaviour the less it happens. I know the advice is to eat all together as a family but we’ve never done that in the evenings due to timings and I often find that if I give DS his dinner then start tidying up he’ll start eating as there’s no attention on him then I can come back and sit with a drink and as he’s already eating he’s more likely to continue.
The other thing that sometimes seems to help is putting very small portions (literally 2 bites of everything) on his plate then adding as he eats as I think sometimes a big meal in front of him is overwhelming. I also don’t have an issue at that age of them playing or colouring at the table while they eat. At that age they can’t sit there and chat like adults and older children do and it’s boring for them.

Is try a picky plate tea and ask him what he wants then just add some veggies etc for him to try and I’d also try feeding him separately whilst you are tidying up or heaven forbid on your phone. When ky daughter was doing this I found if I looked at my phone and ignored what she was doing she would clear her plate, very bad form and frowned upon but she was a huge thrower. After a few days of this she just stopped and normality resumed.

Once he’s actually eating what’s on his plate for a few weeks try the table but again a picky plate. Once that’s going well give him choices, do you want to eat with us tonight? What would you like to eat, shall we all have the same. Big hugs

I think a bit part of the problem is my working hours which are changing next week luckily. I’ll then be home two more days in the week, plus the weekend so will have time to get him involved in the cooking and preparation. He does love to ‘chop’ his food with a baby safe knife so hopefully he will be happy to help prepare the food.

At the moment he has breakfast and lunch at home, tea at nursery & then a snack at home once we’re back from work / nursery. This is four days a week, the other afternoon he has tea at his grandparents and then at weekends we all eat together but it’s just so stressful!

Breakfast he sits fine for, lunch is always rushed as I end up waking him up from his nap and then trying to quickly feed him before nursery so I usually end up reading to him and he’ll eat. The main battle is when we all sit and eat together as a family at the weekend. But as from next week we’ll be doing this more in the week so I’m hoping it will help!

I will definitely try the tips above, I am guilty of filling his plate and giving him a big portion so will definitely scale that down. I also think we’re not consistent enough and it’s just draining!

If my dc struggled to sit through family mealtimes, I used to allow a picture book/sticker book/a piece of paper and 1 or 2 crayons/a small car with us while we ate.
Nothing overboard but it might help. If you are going to do this, the rule should be that they choose one toy, and it is done during the preparation stage, i.e. once you are up sitting you can’t get back down to swap toys etc.
Be both clear and realistic with your expectations. I’d say that 15 minutes is reasonable for an active 2yo. Every so often, let him know how much longer until he can get down. Perhaps use an egg timer so he can see. Reward him when he achieves it - perhaps a sticker chart or marbles?