Coparenting an infant plus older child.

[Silverchamber]

Coparents, talk to me.

Father and I were together 10 years (married 7) had DS at 5 years old and spilt in pregnancy of DD.

Father is pushing for shared care 5050 of both children as of birth of DD. Has DS 5/14 nights. (2 nights plus EOW)

He is unwilling to discuss anything less than 50 50. Him spending time with her in my home has not worked out. He is critical, psychologically abusive toward me, dismissive and rude. It was tense and unpleasant for all so i stopped it, offering short periods of time with her away from my home which have increased every few weeks.

What would you do? How often should a baby spend with a father who has never lived with her and has little to do with her day to day parenting?

Absolutely not to 50/50 for a baby! There is a reason they call it the four trimester.

Are you planning on breastfeeding OP? That may help to strengthen your agreement?

Go through the courts OP, sending

She was breastfed until 8 months. She is now 10 months and on formula plus food.

The time increased has gone from short two hours, to four, to six and now 8. Have discussed having an overnight in the next month. He sees her twice a week of this amount.

Still pushing for shared care. I'm exhausted, of life and of this constant pressure from him. I've always encouraged and facilitated contact. She's very much going through separation anxiety right now.

I don't know what to do any more.

In my opinion he is attempting to using the threat of 50/50 to abuse and control you. Don’t let him. Please go through the courts and get this done properly. Sending more

I've asked him to start the court process as he's been threatening it since pregnancy. Its yet to materialise. I've just been discussing Christmas with him and he doesn't want them any extra as the two days he has holiday he is away 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm so sick of this. I want the best for my kids and I will stay strong but I'm so tired.