Parents of THREEnagers: support is here!

[pompomsgalore]

Following on from a thread I wrote yesterday in desperation.., it turns out there's loads of us here who have 3 year old tyrants who try to break us.

I thought I'd start this thread so we can all huddle together for support during this particularly difficult age.

The reality of parenting is TOUGH!

My threenager has made me cry today. The tantrums have been something its almost as if she has found her voice at last (previously very chilled out kid) and cannot shut up or stop whinging.
I'm dealing with a suspected bowel issue as well and unable to get medical help as the surgery just shrug their shoulders. I've got alot on my plate and home life going to pot is something I could do without.
Solidarity to all the other parents of threenager terrors x

Oh god well I was crying yesterday all day and night so you are definitely not alone!

Have you sought help on here for the bowel issue? I feel MN people know everything and have experienced everything.

I always thought the 'threenager' thing was just a jokey way of saying they still have tantrums like a two year old - so I was surprised to find that it really is something different (and teenager-y!). DS can be an absolute delight but he can also be so whingey and also just so rude! We are having some success with being tediously insistent on him saying please and thank you rather than just demanding things but he is just so bossy and controlling!

Also - and this one makes me feel guilty because it's not objectively bad behaviour in any way - he wants to talk to me ALL DAY and by bedtime I feel sort of windswept from it!

Solidarity to all 😞 mine's 3.5 and her hobbies are complaining and not listening. I love her dearly but I'm really struggling to stay patient these days.

Omg amazing - thank you for this thread!!! Anyone up for a FB group?!

My three-nager today (autocorrects as anger - how appropriate!) had a meltdown cos my husband was changing a tyre in the other car (which he was sat in) and I dared to put him in the other car and take him home to stop him getting bored. He got out of his car seat straps so I had to do a random stop to get him back in, then kicked off agsin because I thought he said toast for lunch but he actually meant soup and toast

Thankfully I escaped to my best mates house this afternoon (gay, single and child free) to drink bubbles or I would have gone insane!!!

Home now though and been in the thick of it tipsy which isn’t ideal but probably makes me more relaxed about the screaming!

My DS turned three last month and my my GOODNESS he is so grumpy and difficult at the moment! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I thought it was supposed to get easier after two???

@Hardbackwriter yes we are being relentless with the please and thanks yous and also when she says 'What?!' in a horrible angry way. I always say 'do you mean pardon? Or what do I mean?' And that's starting to work.

I haven't drunk for nearly two years but yesterday I almost necked a bottle of red wine to cope with the reality of my life.

@avocadotofu 2 was a breeze, 2 were the good old days, 2 was a pleasure to be alive even with lockdown.
3 is hell.
Words I associate with 3 year olds:
Tyrant, controlling, bossy, demanding, dominating, bullying, horrific, depressing, did I say controlling?

Can I join as I have a 2.5 yearold and it's breaking me. I've never felt so challenged in my whole life. Everything is up hill constantly. Reading through this thread has given me a panic attack as he isn't even 3 yet and there's more to come am I right? Does it not get better

Mine growls no so loudly I'm sure it must hurt his throat and has taken to trying to shut us out of rooms and/or shouting go away. On a good day he'll growl in his baby brother's face because he knows it'll scare him and make him cry, and then laughs... He does a good line of kicking, slapping and looking too...

Thanks but DD is 4.7 now and is so much better. My only advice in just keep going- they do come out the other side of it. With DD starting school in September was the final turning point, although we had seen a calming down for a good few months before.

I have a large bruise on my stomach from my threenager and when I showed him this today and asked that he be a bit more careful to not hurt mummy, he proceeded to jab me right in the bruise. The boy has become one with the thinking step recently as it's the only way to get him to stop whatever nightmare behaviour or screaming is occurring.

His older sister was never this bad I'm sure. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@armslength don't worry about the future. It sounds like you have enough on your plate day to day.

@Notthissticky we have growling too that I worry hurts her throat. I don't get it as her speech is great. She has no need to growl.

@BarryTheKestrel my friend uses a thinking space so that she can use it anywhere even when they are out and about.

Thanks for this thread @pompomsgalore. 3 year old is lovely when getting attention and doing what he wants. But the repeated mummy, mummy, mummy and the whiny voice drive me a bit mad. Particularly when I've just told him I'll do X after I've done Y, and he can see I'm doing Y. @Hardbackwriter, sympathy, that definitely sounds familiar about it being constant, and guilt because its completely normal and not bad behaviour.

Does anyone else with 2 get a bit resentful about 3 year old constantly trying to take attention away from the baby, especially when you do try and give them one on one time whenever you can? (and then feel guilty about feeling resentful because they're still so little)

@prettygirlincrimsonrose YES YES YES my three year old dominates every minute of the time we are together and the baby doesn't get a look in.

Do you get any time with just the baby? My three year old goes to pre school for three mornings when I lavish attention on the baby... except for when I'm cleaning and cooking or she's napping.

Can I join? My DD has just turned 4 but 2.5 - now has been one long, painful slog with immense tantrums, hitting, spitting, defiance, refusal to listen and general rudeness! I’m slowly seeing a calmer side coming out as she’s maturing but my God. It’s been tough! And we still have the mega tantrums when madam is tired or hungry.
I’m just waiting for DS to turn 2 and for it to start all over again

Oh my goodness so a threenager is an actual THING? I thought our lovely toddler had been body swapped in the night!

She’s 3 in two weeks, and had a lot of changes this summer - moved house, DD2 was born, she went from four days a week with grandparents/one day a week nursery to mostly home with me on maternity leave. I thought it was just a transition period but goodness me it is getting worse.

Personal favourite moment recently was when I wouldn’t leave her in the car outside all afternoon to wait for Daddy to come home ‘because he’s nicer than you Mummy’. That tantrum saw me have to bring the poor tired baby inside and dump her in the bouncy chair while I dragged DD1 kicking and screaming in. She then proceeded to sit howling by the front door for over an hour, throwing shoes at me every time I tried to move her.

I’m a very experienced primary school teacher who can silence an assembly of 210 children with one look. I cannot get my own child dressed without terrorist level negotiations.

Oh gosh, same experience. Our 3 year old has such mood swings, I can't keep up.

@Timeturnerplease

Oh my goodness so a threenager is an actual THING? I thought our lovely toddler had been body swapped in the night!

She’s 3 in two weeks, and had a lot of changes this summer - moved house, DD2 was born, she went from four days a week with grandparents/one day a week nursery to mostly home with me on maternity leave. I thought it was just a transition period but goodness me it is getting worse.

Personal favourite moment recently was when I wouldn’t leave her in the car outside all afternoon to wait for Daddy to come home ‘because he’s nicer than you Mummy’. That tantrum saw me have to bring the poor tired baby inside and dump her in the bouncy chair while I dragged DD1 kicking and screaming in. She then proceeded to sit howling by the front door for over an hour, throwing shoes at me every time I tried to move her.

I’m a very experienced primary school teacher who can silence an assembly of 210 children with one look. I cannot get my own child dressed without terrorist level negotiations.

The sitting by the front door wailing really resonates with me, mine sits at the bottom of the stairs (1st floor flat). I'm a teacher too and I'd take bottom set year 9 over a preschooler in full on dickhead mode any day.

Also definitely done the running into the house and parking the baby somewhere and hoping the toddler hasn't run off or got injured, then drag them in/ contain them somewhat, whilst the poor baby gets increasingly upset...

I'm very lucky because DD is an angel most of the time but oh my WORD, the whinging. She goes from 0-60 in a matter of seconds and it's so hard to get her out of it! We had a full of heartbroken meltdown the other day because her lolly came off its stick!

Damn. Thought this would be a thread about having three tenets living in the house. Mine are 15, 16, and 17. We call them The Hormoaners.

The days of three year olds are long over for us, but enjoy!

Placemarking!

Thank you for this thread! My son is 3 next month and has been fairly difficult from age two. He has just upped is game in the last couple of months and it’s only getting worse. At leat when he was younger his tantrums were caused by a lack of understanding. Now, he knows he’s being naughty and he delights in it. I can’t take him anywhere. He ran off in a shop the other day and threw everything he could see off the shelves until I could grab him. I told him off but he laughed in my face!

@Notthissticky I am genuinely laughing away at ‘dickhead mode’ - I’m going to shorten that to DHM and use it as code with DP when she really starts kicking off.

Also selfishly glad I’m not the only teacher who can’t behaviour manage someone with the IQ equivalent to a sheepdog….