2 under 3?

[aquarius0126]

DS is 19 months and at a lovely stage. He plays well on his own but can be quite clingy towards me, which is fine and I've probably encouraged him to be that way.

We would love a second child, DS is the only grandchild on both sides so I'm keen to have another soon before there is too much of an age gap.

How difficult is 2 under 3? Does anyone wish they had held off a while before having another? Would really appreciate hearing other parents experience when going from 1 to 2 kids.

Our 2nd and 3rd have 16.5mth gap, I found that better than the 5yr gap between 1 & 2. There's no jealousy with small gaps as they don't remember not sharing. Dealing with 2 under 3 isn't too bad. We had 3 under 3 when our twins were born, exhausting at times but manageable. Our eldest was the only grandchild on both sides for 5 years and struggled to adjust to sharing the attention.

We have a 19 month age gap and there are good sides and bad! We’re through the potty training and naps now so things are in that way easier than if had a bigger gap and we can go on days out that they’ll both enjoy. They will play together some times, but then they fight over toys too which can be exhausting. They’ll both be in school soon! Which will make things logistically much easier. However if we’d waited until one was in school before having the other you’d get much more baby and recovery time. When they’re both little it’s full on and intense, but the baby/toddler period is shorter, so that’s what we went for.

My dc have a 2 and a half year age gap. I found it really really hard, can't lie! I don't regret it though because I think long term a smaller age gap is better

I had two under three then a third when DC1 was just over four. It was okay.

I have a 3 year age gap and highly recommend it - eldest is potty trained, sleeping through reliably, funded hours at nursery and actually helpful! Also can entertain self for short periods eg during feeds, trying to get baby off for naps etc. Kids are now 2 and 5 and get on like an absolute house on fire - can’t see it changing that much as they have such a bond. Obviously there are challenges and squabbles from time to time but there are with any age gap.

Most of my friends have between 2-3 years
gap between their children. We've got just under 3 years and it's been mostly brilliant.

Thank you everyone for your advice and stories from personal experience.

I was 4 when my sister was born and can remember being really unimpressed after months of being told I would have a play mate to then be presented with a tiny little baby who didn't do much
So I like the idea of DS not really remembering being an only child - though I can see so many benefits to waiting a bit longer.

DS was born 3 weeks into lockdown and DH has worked from home since, it's been constant 2 parent support where as next time DH will be back in office and I'll be home with a toddler and newborn..

Hiya I'm 23 I have a 2 year old that's autistic and a 7 month old. My 7 month old hasn't developed properly either and is being screened for cerebral palsy. I wouldn't change anything for the world. Can be a handful at times of course but the joy of kids just outweighs the most challenging parts for me personally hope this helps!

I had 2 under 2! Admittedly only for a small while, a 22 month gap. It was lovely. They were babies together, both in nappies, I loved my double buggy.
And they're so close, 6 & 8 now and get on so well and are such good company for each other.

Our theory was if we only wanted 2, we wanted to have them close and any hard work early on with 2 babies would pay off with them being closer in age as they grew up - much easier to entertain a 4 & 6 year old with one activity, than a 5 & 10 year old, for example.

It works well for us, although of course that's not to say it works for everyone. My cousin deliberately had a 5 yr age gap as she wanted to get the first to school before having another, so courses for horses.

Personally I wouldn't change a thing.

Following this my DS is 21 months and I feel abit on the fence about whether we just go for it or wait abit

I had two under 17months.

My only regret is that I didn't bond particularly well with baby2 initially as no1 was also still a baby! I would imagine if you have say a 5 yr gap you can really coo over your baby the same as you did with your first! If you have two small ones, the smallest just gets taken along for the ride!

However, now they're a school year apart, i love it. Both kids into the same things and want to do the same stuff.

You will basically have a 3 yr old and a baby which wouldn't be hard in the slightest!!!

@GuckGuckDoose

I have a 3 year age gap and highly recommend it - eldest is potty trained, sleeping through reliably, funded hours at nursery and actually helpful! Also can entertain self for short periods eg during feeds, trying to get baby off for naps etc. Kids are now 2 and 5 and get on like an absolute house on fire - can’t see it changing that much as they have such a bond. Obviously there are challenges and squabbles from time to time but there are with any age gap.

A 3yr age gap worked perfectly for us- so much easier when the eldest is potty trained, can get dressed, communicate well- I found it easier 1-2 than 0-1 kid wise

I had 2 under 2. It was really fucking hard for the first 3 months-ish but now I think it's the best thing. They are so close, play together, the same activities are age appropriate etc etc. Highly recommend this gap.

@angeltattoo

I had 2 under 2! Admittedly only for a small while, a 22 month gap. It was lovely. They were babies together, both in nappies, I loved my double buggy. And they're so close, 6 & 8 now and get on so well and are such good company for each other.

Our theory was if we only wanted 2, we wanted to have them close and any hard work early on with 2 babies would pay off with them being closer in age as they grew up - much easier to entertain a 4 & 6 year old with one activity, than a 5 & 10 year old, for example.

It works well for us, although of course that's not to say it works for everyone. My cousin deliberately had a 5 yr age gap as she wanted to get the first to school before having another, so courses for horses.

Personally I wouldn't change a thing.

This is exactly what I'm thinking. We only want 2, so may as well have them close together and combine the sleepless nights and tantrums then hope by the time they are 4/6 they play well together.

Meh I had a dd in Sept 2005. A dd in December 06 and a ds in November 2008.
Doddle..
Said no woman ever!!
It was hard but great. Now are 13, 14 nearly 15 and 16.

@CoastalWave

I had two under 17months.

My only regret is that I didn't bond particularly well with baby2 initially as no1 was also still a baby! I would imagine if you have say a 5 yr gap you can really coo over your baby the same as you did with your first! If you have two small ones, the smallest just gets taken along for the ride!

However, now they're a school year apart, i love it. Both kids into the same things and want to do the same stuff.

You will basically have a 3 yr old and a baby which wouldn't be hard in the slightest!!!

Thank you for your comment.

This is one of my worries, trying to give a new baby my time and bond without making DS feel pushed out.

@Pumpkinsonparade

Meh I had a dd in Sept 2005. A dd in December 06 and a ds in November 2008. Doddle.. Said no woman ever!! It was hard but great. Now are 13, 14 nearly 15 and 16.

It must be lovely now they are all so close in age but can only imagine how difficult they early years would have been

Decent double buggy is a must!! Although the middle one was a fab walker! Synchronised naps were worth organising!!
Def wouldn't recommend 2 dd's a year apart!!
Teen years worse than toddler ones!!