Back to work - how do you do it?

[LaMadrilena]

DD is 5m, and I went back to work last week (that's all the maternity leave I get, no option to take unpaid or anything). Up till recently DD slept fairly well, a couple of wakes per night but quickly back to sleep on the breast. Since last week she's waking every hour or more. Sometimes she just needs a cuddle, sometimes a feed. I haven't been so exhausted since her first week at home!

We couldn't get her to take a bottle before I went back, so that's been a sudden change. She's barely eating during the day. It's also coincided with moving to a proper cot as she can sit up and the Next2Me was no longer safe. She's still next to my bed though.

DH is on paternity leave, but he says there's no point him seeing to her in the night because she won't settle for him. To be fair, as she's in our room, it's true I'm going to wake up anyway (although he mysteriously doesn't). So I'm up every hour or more, then I get up and do a 10 hour day including 20km up and down the motorway. This morning I left DD in our bed and came to the sofa, and woke an hour later when DH snuck up and started bouncing her on my chest

How on earth do people do this?

Sorry for the long post. I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Your OH needs to bloody step up. He’s on paternity leave & yet you are doing all the night wake ups? Get real. It’s trickier when you are breastfeeding admittedly but you need to work something out so you sleep.

Maybe, you feed baby at 8.45pm & go to bed at 9pm & sleep until say midnight. Your OH does not disturb you. Baby cries, he deals with it. He could keep trying a bottle with expressed milk during this time. Then OH & baby come to bed. You deal with the night feeds until 5am. Then OH takes baby & you get a bit more sleep until you need to get up. Your OH can nap in the daytime. At the weekend, you get a lie in. He doesn’t. He can catch up while he isn’t working. You are working & commuting in a car. You need to do this safety & not lose your job from being completely exhausted & making mistakes etc!

The night feeds should come down once she gets used to your absence and starts taking more milk during the day. If she doesn’t want a bottle your OH can try feeding her with a cup or glass or bowl or mug or spoon and see what she prefers. My DS drinks his milk out of pint glasses while I’m at work. Pump as often as your work will let you so you can keep your supply up.

Going back to work is never easy when you’re breastfeeding.

I think she will settle down. This has been a disruption for her but not only are babies adaptable; they change.look back a month and see what has changed in that time . A few weeks down the line and she will have moved on. She will be starting little bits of solids for a start and drinking from a beaker so hopefully milk morning and night from you will keep her going with those on top. I really remember this stage but like everything else, time sorts it out. Sorry for the lack of sleep though, that is brutal.

Thanks everyone. I caught DH just as he was about to make himself another rum & coke (he's not a big drinker but we've been at a birthday all afternoon and he thought he might as well carry on at home as he's not working tomorrow), and asked nicely if he could lay off as otherwise he won't wake, and I'd like him to do some of the night wakes. He put the rum away, saying he'll get up if I wake him but there's no point in us both being awake, and has been moody ever since. I'm just carrying on being nice.

It's daft, he's usually really good at doing his share or even more, but I think he gets stressed by the thought of not being able to calm a crying DD.

I like @Bobholll's suggestion, but I'm sure DH will have an argument as to why it can't possibly work.

Hopefully this week DD will get more into the swing of things. And yes, we'll be starting solids in a couple of weeks. I hope that helps and isn't just another change that sets her off course again!