Getting 5 year old to listen

[sleepycoffeemonster]

DS is 5 and everything he does involves me telling him over and over to do each step. Bedtime for example, he knows exactly what needs doing but gets distracted with absolutely anything. I have to ask him so many times even start getting ready, then I break it down to "put on your pj top, now put on your. bottoms" etc and he still gets distracted.
We have tried timing him as a game, racing, seeing if he can do it all himself, reward charts but none of it works. Half the time I end up shouting and thats the only thing that makes him pay attention and get on with it.
Same with eating meals, getting shoes and coat on to go out, getting ready for school.
Is this normal and does anyone have any ideas how to motivate without shouting? I need a new tactic, I don't want our house to be a shouty house!!

Honestly please just chill out for your sake as well as your DS. My DS is the exact same and I have to ask him several times to do things like getting dressed because he gets distracted and starts asking questions. I'm glad that he is inquisitive. I know it's frustrating when you may be in a hurry but he is still tiny. You may miss it when he is independent and doesn't need you to get him dressed etc.
I don't mean this to be unkind or criticising you at all but this too shall pass...

I've honestly been telling myself that for a long time and Ive really tried being patient and kind and 'happy' and 'lovely' way of asking/reminding/encouraging. But its got to the stage where he doesn't do anything independently and half the time completely ignores me! Its got so tiring.

My DC finds it very hard to stay on track for things like that - very distractible and she doesn't always process what is said to her if her mind is elsewhere. There is such a huge range at 5 so it could well be normal but for my DC (who is a bit older) it's connected to ASD (not suggesting this is the case for your DC but it has given us lots of techniques for things like this!)

One thing that works is singing an instruction at her and getting her to sing it back e.g. "Put your shoes on! Put your SHOES ON! Then we'll all be ready to goo-oo-ooo" to the tune of Let It Go. She particularly loves instructions sung to the tune of the Hallelujah Chorus for some reason She'll join in or sing back and then we know she has processed the instruction.

The other thing that helps was recommended by our OT and it involves you doing it for them for a while, then all but the last thing, then the last two things. So you get him dressed for a week, then the next week you get him dressed except for his socks, then except for socks and trousers etc etc. If the next step doesn't work and he gets distracted, go back to just the socks for a while.

Visuals are useful too - so a picture of him ready for school, or a picture of him in his pyjamas and "what do you need to do to match the picture."

These are some great ideas thank you, will definitely give them a try.