Health Anxiety

[BuildingBlocks1]

My 2.5 year old DD (first & only child) was very poorly when she was born & was rushed to ICU. I couldn't hold her for several days. We were in hospital 16 days.

I've always suffered with anxiety but that, the trauma of the first 2 weeks, & caring for a new baby as a first time Mum has not helped.

I see a counsellor but not sure it helps very much with my health anxiety. I dread my DD being ill. The rational part of my brain knows she will get ill, she's had coughs, colds, tonsillitis, rashes, etc etc so I know I can get through it even though I'm a wreck at the time because my thoughts can spiral.

I found a tiny square shaped (literally 4 pin prick dots in the shape of a square) tonight on her torso & I've googled everything from signs of Sepsis to Meningitis. This just isn't normal & although it's great I prioritise her, I would just love to not always be an anxious wreck whenever she's poorly or has something such as this rash. Any tips from anyone who has been here before?

Hi, I guess I don't have any real advice except I'm exactly the same and it's dominating my life. So I'm sending a hand hold.

My baby has been leaning his head to the side today whilst crawling and I'm scared he has a brain tumour.

It's exhausting. I hear CBT can be really helpful for some people ❤️

Hey @Foreverbaffled thanks for your comment. I'm sorry to hear you're suffering but selfishly I'm glad I'm not alone because I honestly do feel like that. I, funny enough, had the same worry as you several weeks ago as my DD started putting her head to the side when running. I mentioned it to her Paediatrician & he said it's more than likely a behavioural thing with no other symptoms involved. If there's other symptoms or it's really starting to eat away at you then defo see a GP. Also check out the 'Head Smart' site if you haven't already, it's really good. Sending hugs, & let me know if you try CBT or anything else that does help your anxiety ❤️

@BuildingBlocks1 Thank you ❤️ I was on the Headsmart website earlier and he has no other symptoms thankfully. I think it might be teething or the start of yet another ear infection.

Weirdly too my older son had a similar pin prick type rash a few weeks ago (just a couple of spots on his lower back) and I was very anxious it was something sinister. Turned out he’d slipped off the bottom of a slide at the park when out with my mum earlier that day. Just sums up how irrational this all is.

I’m sorry you had a traumatic early time with your your DD. I had a difficult few months with my baby too as he had some red flags for cerebral palsy. It’s very hard to process it all. I just love my children to the extent I am in a constant state of fear that I will lose them - that fears manifests as health related anxiety.

Antidepressants can be really helpful for anxiety too. Always here if you want to chat x

@Foreverbaffled

'I just love my children to the extent I am in a constant state of fear that I will lose them - that fears manifests as health related anxiety.'

I could have written this myself. You've summed it up so well.

I was on some sort of anxiety medication for 6 months then weaned myself off about 6 months ago as myself & OH were thinking of trying for another baby but I don't think we can, sadly the anxiety of 'but what if something goes wrong again?' Has brought me to wondering if she will be our one & only.

I'm so sorry this is leaving you in doubt about having another baby. I went through the same thing after my first (had terrible PNA with my first too which I'm not sure ever really went away) but we went for a second anyway. I don't regret it of course but I can't pretend it hasn't made things harder. Not having had a second would have been very hard for me though. Given what happened last time would you have additional input/monitoring during your pregnancy?

Have you noticed any patterns to your anxiety? I've noticed mine gets worse around the time I ovulate and also when I have my period. I also remember my anxiety being much better when I was on the contraceptive pill so I'm hoping that when I stop breastfeeding I can go back on this and it might help a little. I'm also going to self refer myself for psychological therapies. I am desperate to get this under control.

Do you have much support at home?

@Foreverbaffled Bless you for asking that, yes I am very lucky to have a very irritatingly laid back but incredibly supportive OH. I think you're right about the anxiety patterns. And yes if I were to have another I'd be under the eye of a consultant, I was proactive & made sure I can have access to that, more for my anxiety than anything else.

We are very lucky our DD is how she is, very clever, funny etc (gushing parent) as she had a blood clot on the brain at 6 hours old. You'd never know if you saw her or spent time with her but it had certainly left it's mark on me & it has terrified me to think of having another & something potentially going wrong.

Hi, hoping I can join the convo as I also struggle with terrible health anxiety.

My DS is 13 months and my first and currently only baby, hes recently had back to back sickness for about 8 weeks and it’s literally every week, sometimes he just gets random fevers (weekly) and it always sends me in to panic mode. Im constantly taking him to a&e to get checked over as i just think, what if? His dad hates me for it but i just cant help i’d feel so awful if i missed something. I get cross with myself as i feel like im making DS anxious as well, and i should be there to comfort him when he’s unwell rather than be constantly panicking.

It doesn’t stop their either, i worry about myself to, before DS i would worry constantly but it seemed to calm down after he was born. Im currently extremely anxious as ive just had my 2nd covid jab which i was terrified to get, im unintentionally loosing weight (breastfeeding and likely not eating enough but still) went to the doctor about it to get checked and mow my bloods have come back showing i have high iron so need further testing. Then on top of that DS is always sick with some sort of bug. Its tipping me over the edge, i feel exhausted and like im falling back into old habits when my anxiety first started. My OH works every day and so its just me a DS and I need to find a way to pull myself together. Its nice to know im not alone and other people are going through similar.

Hey @Nottosure22 it's good to talk. Sorry to hear about your recent frights. Weekly temps would certainly have be worried but that's not to say you should be! Have you spoken to a GP as to why your little one gets them on a frequent basis? I have a theory some kids are more prone to some illnesses in some form than others. Like my DD has a barking cough. This is her second in the last 4 weeks & the last one was horrid, really anxiety inducing as she was coughing so much she was being sick.

You sound pretty stressed out. Have you got any support with family or friends? Even just someone you can chat to if you're feeling worried?

OP ; if you were better when taking anti anxiety medicines it might well be in your and your DD's work interests to restart. Many can be taken in pregnancy if that does eventually happen for you.
Secondly there may be an element of PTSD here and the management of that is not the same as a more straightforward anxiety.
I think you should talk to your GP honestly about the impact that your feelings and worries are having upon your everyday life.

Thanks @yikesanotherbooboo Thats an interesting point you've made about PTSD & anxiety. I will ask my therapist about that when I speak with him this week.

Catastrophisation is a coping mechanism. I suffer terribly with anxiety and the focus of that anxiety is nearly always the health of my children. I know I need to find a new coping mechanism and to access treatment but wonder whether, after all these years, anything will work.

I’ve recently heard EMDR is helpful.