Birthing photo

[jessm44]

Hey Mums,

I want opinions because I don’t know how to feel. My boyfriend has a 3 year old child and I’ve just looked in his kitchen cupboard to find a picture of him, his ex girlfriend and baby when she was born. Have I got a right to be upset by this? I’m not sure how I should feel because I do feel upset but I’m not sure if I have the right to be?

You are wrong to be upset. Is he supposed to destroy all his memories/photographs?

No you shouldn't be upset!

It’s a special moment. The fact they have since split up doesn’t make the time their child was born any less special

Your upset he has a photo to remember the birth of his child? Really?

What upsets you about it?

@dementedpixie

You are wrong to be upset. Is he supposed to destroy all his memories/photographs?

I suppose not

When you said “birthing photo”, I pictured something very different.

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong keeping that picture.

Is it because its hidden away in a cupboard so feels like something he sneakily looks at when he's missing his ex?

Honestly, if this upsets you it's best you don't date men with DCs.

You have the right to feel upset by whatever you want. However, objecting out showing your upset to the photo would be highly unreasonable.

That photo represents probably the best moment of his life. He shouldn't have to hide it away in a cupboard, let alone get rid of it.

It can be hard being reminded that a loved one had a past which didn't involve us, but that's life.

Would you have wanted him to be miserable for life before meeting you? Heading a child together means she will always be in your life in a way. If you can't deal with that, then ending things now is probably for the best.

The moment his child was born is always going to be special to him. He’s done absolutely nothing wrong.

You probably shouldn't be dating a man who has children if you feel that way. I don't mean that in a mean way, but this is inescapable if your boyfriend is a Dad too (or rather, first and foremost).

It was a pivotal moment in his life, one of many which will have made him the person you love today.

It's naturally jarring to see evidence of your DP happy with someone else, but come on OP, we're all adults, we all have history.

You surely know yourself YABU.

Echo others, it would have been the greatest day of his life his DD being born. Of course he should still have photos of this happening.

You can’t help how you feel but you would be incredibly unreasonable to criticise him for this or ask him to move or destroy the photo. It’s not about his ex it’s about his child. He should be happy and proud to have a photo of that moment - I’m a bit sad he feels he has to keep it in a cupboard. Please don’t say anything to him and think about how you can manage your emotions about this because I think they are misplaced (though obviously not a conscious reaction for you).

Thanks everyone. X

Oh op, it sounds like that photo has stirred up a lot of emotions for you. It might be worth sitting with those emotions for a while and trying to think about what is going on for you.
The birth of his baby will be one of the most important and hopefully happy days of his life. Keeping memories of that day is of course understandable. But I guess the hard bit for you is that he shared it with another woman, albeit a woman he was with before he even met you.
Be honest with yourself if this is something you can live with or will it always call you pain, then act accordingly.
If you have a baby with him one day, how will you feel going off to scans etc, knowing that this is a first for you, but not for him? Best to think about it now before it is too late.

You are being ridiculous.

Have you got rid of every single photo of anything that happened before you were together?

Op you’ve clearly got issues, either extreme jealousy, insecurity or something but this is really disturbing it’s a pic of when his child was born. Of course he should have it, 😱