5 year old - no friends in new school

[christinawolf]

Sorry, new to Mumsnet so no idea about the rules, abbreviations etc but really need your input. We had to move house in summer so my 5-year old started a new school (Year 1). He started to really struggle socially. He says no one wants to play with him during the playtime. Poor thing never had problems at his previous school. I have spoken to his teacher about it and the teacher promised to match him with a friend. Nothing has changed though so I was probably naive to rely on the teacher's help. I have arranged several play dates with a few kids and they played nicely but only in our house, at school the same kids seem to ignore my son. What can I do to help my son? Shall I intervene at all or maybe just leave it? Any advice would be much appreciated

Hi there, @christinawolf. Welcome to Mumsnet! We're going to move your thread over to our Parenting board now. Hopefully you'll find some support there. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting

I didn't want to read and run.

This is so tough, we worry so much about our kids.

I think these friendships do happen naturally, but to keep with the play dates may help and if the teachers are pairing, I think that's the best I could suggest.

Does your son do any sports classes or hobbies outside school to meet friends, so he can at least have mates elsewhere for now?

Sorry I'm sure more will be along to help

Thank you for replying, yes, my son goes to a few classes where he's got friends. He also sees his old friends regularly. It's just a shame that he has no one to play with at school, it make him sad

It's fantastic that your son is regularly meeting with his old school friends and enjoying play dates with the ones from new school. Friendships can be tricky especially when children join in between terms. Teachers are usually busy with other stuff so probably mentioning it once isn't enough. If other kids are not letting him join in a game ask your son to find an adult and mention this. Ask for an informal meeting with teacher say after school at pick up time and mention your concerns. Request her to buddy your child with someone for the day and keep doing it for a week or so with different children. Hopefully your child will click with someone.

Once children get past reception they have a pretty well planned day with lots of activities/learning which involves pairing up kids and working together in small groups so your child won't feel left out in class. Hope this helps.

Hi!
How’s he doing now OP? Any updates? We are going through a similar thing with our daughter (same age). I watched her yesterday in a party just playing around her peers (many of whom have been to us for play dates) and mainly being subtlety ignored by them. Broke my heart. We’ve tried all the usual advice, clubs, play dates, role playing how to make friends etc.
So just wondered how your boy was doing and if there were any positive stories out there to encourage us...