Having a newborn & toddler???

[DC1stTimeMummy]

I wanted to ask parents who have experienced this or thought about this:

What is it like having a newborn & toddler (honestly)? Thinking about when to grow my family as I’ve always wanted 2 children & would love my little one to have a sibling to play with. He is now 15 months old.

Would you say your first born was independent when the 2nd one was born & didn’t need too much of your help so you had time for the newborn?

What made you ready to have another child?

Did you have enough time to do things?

Did your 1st born go to nursery so you could look after the little one more?

Is it easier having a second child after having your first (as you have already experienced things with the 1st)?

13 month age gap here.

I had them both at home with me 24/7 until the older DC started going 3x mornings a week to nursery school at 2 years old.

Having them both at home full time was really hard. Especially during the pandemic when fuck all was open.

Now they're a little older, it's easy. Both go to nursery school every morning. I'd actually hate to have, say, a 3.5 year old and a newborn. So glad I had mine close together.

I had 2 born a year apart, almost exactly (just 2 days difference), and I was a single parent, it was fine tbh, no I didn’t send mine nursery personally.

Have a 5 week old and a just turned two year old.

I honestly think it all depends on their individuals personalities etc.

Our 2 year old was hard work as a baby and is still very strong willed. He would wake up hourly sometimes and would hate being put down. Our 5 week old is completely different and has just slotted in effortlessly as she is so calm and content. She sleeps well and will happily be popped in her crib or chair if I need to get jobs done etc.

Toddler still goes nursery 2 days a week as he did when I was at work. He loves it and his social skills have come on so much since attending so we didn’t want to take him out.

I personally found being pregnant with a toddler harder than having newborn and a toddler.

DD1 was 2.8 when DD2 was born in August. We wanted a smaller gap ideally due to DP’s age and my crappy fertility (took me five years to get pregnant with DD1) but covid IVF pause messed that up. I’m one of four, so was keen for DD1 to have a playmate. DP was just hoping a sibling would help him to be harassed less to play inane imaginative games with her 😂

DD1 used to do four days with grandparents and one day nursery. Now I’m on mat leave she does the nursery day plus one or two days a week at her grandparents. I don’t ‘need’ the childcare as such, it’s fine having the two of them together, but this arrangement means that DD1 gets to be the centre of attention at grandparents again, and maintain her nursery friendships. It also means poor DD2 can have an uninterrupted nap for once and a bit of peace and quiet - though her eyes do light up when her big sister comes home.

On weekdays with both of I make sure we get out for most of the morning to burn off DD1’s energy - playdates/park/walks/soft play. Afternoons are more chilled and it’s been really good for DD1 to have to learn to entertain herself more. Apart from being a milk refuser, DD2 is a gazillion times easier than DD1 in terms of personality, which helps a lot.

The main issue with baby and toddler is that it’s hard for the baby to get into a nap routine when you’re carting the older one off to activities. However, if you live in a town this would be much easier as you could walk everywhere and baby could sleep in the buggy. We live in a village so poor DD1 often gets transferred from house to car to buggy to car to house and that’s just not conducive to restful sleep. As someone who thrives on routine this probably stresses me out more than her!