Fussy baby and going back to work

[MamatoRnC]

Hi, I have a very fussy baby that doesn't sleep very well and is fed to sleep for naps and Co sleeps and breast sleeps and wakes up very frequently in the night. She's almost 7 months old.

I am due to go back to work at the end of January, she will go to nursery 2 or 3 days a week and my mum 1 day a week. Each week we have been practicing leaving her with my mum for 1 hour then 2 and yesterday we tried 3. All was well until nap time in which mum said she was inconsolable and she ended up taking her for a long walk and she finally dozed off. She was asleep in pram when I went to pick her up but only slept for 40 mins. Upon returning home with her I got her straight back to sleep where she slept for a further 1hr 10. However she was so tired by 6 I put her to bed an hour early and she only slept briefly then didnt go down for the night until 9pm.

Shes very grumpy and tired today and I feel like going to my mums has really thrown her out of whack and like she can't cope without me being there

This has really made me not want to go back to work and leave her for 4 days a week but I received enhanced mat pay so need to at least go back for 3 months.

Will things get better? Will she learn to cope? Any way around not having to pay the enhanced mat pay back? I'm beside myself and feeling extremely anxious about going back to work and leaving her

It was one day.
You need to give her more time to adjust.

Sorry I misread your post.
I would keep trying though,

Nurseries are phenomenal and will have worked with many little ones who are breastfed and used to feeding to sleep and cosleeping. Perhaps it would be helpful to have a chat with them about their experiences with others as I bet it would put your mind at rest. Also it's still two months away and they change so much at that age. If it's possible, keep going with having your mum look after her as she will work out a different way for napping to happen there. It sounds like she's onto a winner already with the pram. Lastly, if you really think that becoming a SAHP would be best for your family, have a look at how much annual leave you have accrued whilst off... it may be far less than 3 months you actually need to do away from your baby.

Thank you so much for your reply, it really has been helpful @TradedAtlanta. I have a nursery visit tomorrow so I will write down lots of questions to ask.

I will also ask work how much holiday I have incurred and then if either of us really aren't coping well I can look at my options, thank you again!

Will she be about 8/9 months when you go back?

A lot changes in those times and that will help.

Nurseries have some sort of magic power with babies that gets them to sleep no matter what. No idea what they do, but it works.

In the mean time, maybe start gently changing the sleep associations.

I used to do at least one nap a day in their cot (usually afternoon nap). At first we'd go in and close the curtains and put them down in the cot with a blanket on. Then I'd sit next to them holding their hand. Gradually over a few weeks I moved further away abs they fell asleep quicker. Soon they shut their eyes as soon as the blanket was on.

I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to add to this that you are so justified in your feelings. I have a 6 month old and have serious anxiety about leaving her. The only way she goes to sleep is walking in the pram and when it's not me pushing it, she knows and screams...

So I just wanted to say, please don't feel alone. It's completely fine to be nervous and it's a normal motherly instinct.

ATB in whatever you decide! You are her mother and know her needs best.