Is it helpful to split paternity leave?

[PaternityLeave]

I'm currently pregnant and my husband is planning to take two weeks paternity leave. His work has given him the option to take both weeks together, or one when the baby is born and one later on.

A couple of his colleagues have said they took 2 weeks together but wished they had split it because they found it was harder when the baby was a few weeks older.

What would you do? Do you think it's better for dad to take two weeks at the start, or one week at the start and another a little later? His colleagues have suggested taking the second at 5/6 weeks - if you were to split it, when would you have wanted the second week?

Oh that would have been ideal. I definitely needed someone around the 1st week and then 6 weeks would have been nice too.

Can he wait to decide? To see how you get on in the first week?

I think it depends on your labour/birth to be honest. With my first I was in hospital for four days but with my second they were sending me home after 6 hours. You might have stitches or a section or a protracted stay in hospital, which would affect how much help you might need in that first week. You might also be fine though!

A week wouldn't have been long enough for me, being honest. With my first baby I was shell shocked and having terrible trouble feeding for at least a few weeks and with my other babies I needed help with the other kid/s. Could he do the two weeks and then take annual leave later on maybe?

DP split his. 1week with him at home, then 1 week at my mums (5 days), then a few weeks on my own but knowing that he will be around in another few weeks.

He also took odd days off as annual leave, rather than having 2 solid weeks off.

I had a planned csection so 2 weeks was more helpful at the time - especially as the first 2/3 days we were in hospital. My husband then took another weeks leave around 6 weeks as holiday.

Personally a week after birth would have been rubbish for us because we got readmitted for DD's jaundice so DH would have had barely any time at home with us. He took two weeks paternity and two weeks holiday so he was at home for the first month and it was amazing. He's doing the same when DC2 arrives next year. In that month he did everything round the house, all
the cooking, etc. so I could just focus on recovering, getting feeding established, etc. I have such fond memories of that time.

I couldn't have been left alone on week 2. No section, but DS wasn't a sleeper and we found the first 7 months super hard. DH took an extra 2 weeks off, so didn't go back till DS was 4 weeks old. Even that was really hard!

DH took one week at the beginning and then one day a week for the next few weeks - a Wednesday, so that I was never without him for more than 2 days in a row. That worked really well for us but your DH may not be allowed to do that.

In a block.

My dh got 2 weeks for vaginal births and 6 weeks for my c-sections. He works away for days to months at a time so not just a case of several hours on my tod each day.

My DH has split his both times.

With DC1 he took 5 days straight away then took 1 day a week for the following 5 weeks. He also used some holiday to take another day off each week for 5 weeks.

With DC2 he took 5 days straight away and then took the other 5 days when she was 3 weeks old. This week coincided with DC1s birthday.

Both times the agreement was that if I had a bad labour or c-section he'd have to take the 2 weeks in one go.

My DH took all leave at the start and that worked for us. He actually took 2 weeks paternity followed immediately by 2 weeks annual leave.

I had a section both times and took a long time to be able to do the care of DC. Especially the second time as the section had complications and took longer to recover and also had a preschooler as well as newborn.

Once I was mobile and breastfeeding was established I felt much more able to get with things independently while DH was at work.

I'm clearly a total wimp because we did shared parental leave and my DH took 12 weeks after the birth of our first two children and 7 weeks after the third! I'd highly recommend it if it's an option for anyone, it's not just about 'helping you with the baby' it's about them establishing their own relationship and building their confidence with the baby too.

I had a section and needed DHs help for the first two weeks. DH actually took off the first 6 weeks and my gosh it was a godsend to have him home so long to help care for baby and me. Don’t underestimate the support you may need once baby is born