Relationship breakdown after birth

[Argx]

I wonder if anyone has experienced similar to me. My daughter is 8 months old, since she came along things havent been the same between me and my partner, I have no sex drive at all, we disagree over most things and he said I show him no attention. He says he doesnt want to be with me but we have an 8 month old, I have no job, nothing... and im finding the prospect of being left with nothing so hard. Can anyone offer some advice on how I deal with this situation? I never wanted my daughter to have a broken family, I always dreamed of the perfect family together so it hurts that its come to this.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling.
Having a first baby is such a huge life change and I think a lot of couples struggle for a period.

Are you breastfeeding? I know from personal experience that the hormones can totally suppress your sex drive.

Is he pulling his weight around the house / with the baby? It’s hard to gives partner attention if you’re carrying a lot of mental load / housework / childcare.

How has he adjusted to being a father?

He doesn't want to be with you because you dont want sex. You havnt long had a baby, lack of sleep, exhausted, probably low on vitamins, may have PND and he is winging about you not showing him attention. Nice.

You are not helpless. Yes you have baby but so do millions of other single mums who make it work. Speak to your family, get the support you need right now, look at how much money you are entitled too, could you go back to work, can the baby go in child care ect.

He is an arse but it doesn't mean your life is over. Things dont work out and you pick yourself up and move forward. If he has told you he doesn't want to be with you - then you separate - dont beg him to stay with you.

He is being so selfish and only thinking about his needs and his d**k.
Does he not realise what you have been through? What you do for your family on a daily basis?
It really infuriates me when men behave this way.
The first year is so hard after having a baby and he needs to understand how you feel, what your wants and needs are.
If he cannot see that, then I'm so sorry to say he may not be the one for you.
A man that truly loves you will sit and listen to you, realise he is being selfish and will do anything to make things better and be the father and partner he is supposed to be.
He is not there to 'help' you. What men do around the house should not be option.
He lives there too and he also made your child with you.
Dad and Partner is a given, just like you being a non and a partner.
You should be a team. It's not the 1920's anymore! You're not there to cook, keep house and open your legs for yourself partner when HE wants it and just pop out kids.
Do speak to him and I truly hope you sort it out and things get better for you ❤️

I think the key here is communication OP. It can be harder on partners than we might think to have everything change almost overnight as often they don't realise the reality of having a baby until the LO has arrived (I realise this is a very general statement but I'm just talking from my own experience). Could you make some time to go on a date night once a week so that you are making time to be a couple as well as parents? Make time separately to talk through any disagreements reasonably when you are both feeling calm, making sure each of you is really listening to the other one. Discuss what each of you need from each other in the relationship as this may have changed since having your LO and your partner may be struggling with the change in expectation and dynamic of the relationship. When it comes to sex, your partner needs to understand how you are feeling about being intimate at the moment and maybe once you get the emotional intimacy again the physical intimacy may follow more naturally.

@Kitkat555 you need to start your own thread, this one is months old.