Any advice - very unsettled and want the best for my DS

[Afsgh]

I've posted here before about my DS' slow weight gain. We're at 9 weeks now and having had a tongue tie revision 12 days ago (which had seemingly been missed by four health professionals), he has just been weighed - he's put only 100g in two weeks and has dropped below the 2nd percentile line.

Up until this point he has been EBF and the advice has been to stick at it. I now think this could be cruel and hindering his growth. It's been suggested that I try to express a top up bottle, but he is so unsettled he tends to spend hours on me, either feeding (although seemingly not very effectively) or wanting to comfort suck/be held, which doesn't leave much space to try to express. I do have a Medela hand pump but I've never been able to express more than 1oz after a feed, at best.

I seem to have an overly emotional attachment to breastfeeding, such that the idea of even one formula feed makes me feel like I will have failed. I know this is irrational and I have never judged anyone for feeding their child formula, so I don't know why this is a hang up for me. Anyway, after the weigh in today my DH and I have decided it's time to try to give DS a bottle in the evening.

I feel like I have done everything to make exclusively breastfeeding a success, but the weight gain is so slow, he is increasingly fussy and unsettled and I'm getting no more than 3-4hrs of unbroken sleep each night. He also is very gassy and I think may have silent reflux.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting, but I'm finding the whole thing pretty brutal at the moment. Others I know with little ones this age seem to be starting to emerge from the newborn fog, whereas it seems to be getting harder with my DS. I just want what's best for him. Any tips/suggestions, anyone who has been through the same?

I've been there - we made it to 12 weeks with DD but it was the hardest 12 weeks of my life and I was devastated when I gave her formula. She's now 15 months old and bright, sparky, healthy and happy. I'm pregnant now with DC2 and while I'm going to try to breastfeed this time around (at least to the same 12 week point we did last time) I have made myself promise I won't get so insane about it. It's totally normal but it can really take over - it did for me - and in the end more than outweighs the positives of breastfeeding.

Personally, I found that the first time I fed DD with a bottle, all calm and snuggled up, was the most beautiful bonding experience. Everything you feel right now is very real, I don't want to minimise your feelings, but I promise that in the months and years to come you'll look back and wonder why you worried so much.

I completely understand your feelings.

My DS is 10 weeks old. He was a massive newborn and his weight plummeted as I wasn't producing enough milk. Kept getting advice to persevere with it and it'll eventually come in. Saw the breastfeeding consultant, went to a breastfeeding group, GP prescribed domperidone, kept hydrated... did everything I could and felt awful that I couldn't feed my baby. I was told to pump 8 times a day which I couldn't do as I have two older children and there's no time in the day so was told my supply would never increase.

I decided I'd continue to pump my meagre 10ml a day so at least the baby was getting some antibodies. I bought a hands free breast pump and pump 3-4 times a day. My supply has very gradually built up and my first pump of the morning is regularly 200ml now. The others are anywhere between 60-150ml per pump... anyway it's plenty for feeding the baby now with a formula bottle last thing at night.

I breastfeed 'properly' during the night and express 3-4 times a day. He has mixed bottles and a formula bottle in the evening ... my milk supply is increasing and we're reducing his formula feeds.

I now feel happy with his feeding after feeling like crap for so long.

We saw a paediatrician a couple of weeks ago and when she weighed him she asked how I was feeding him, I told her and she said "well, it's a magic combo, he's a super healthy baby"... I could've cried tears of joy.

I understand you feel low at the minute but it can and will get better... find your own magic combo!

I wanted to come back on here and say thank you to everyone for your messages and also to provide an update. We started to introduce formula and he did see an initial weight gain but lots of his niggly symptoms also got much worse (mucus in nappies and lots of them, green poo with blood streaks, sneezing, raised skin on cheeks, reflux) and his weight has since plateaued again. After numerous trips to the GP, health visitor and A&E the medics believe he has a cow's milk protein allergy so we have switched the formula part of his feed to Neocate and I have completely removed both dairy and soya from my diet.

He's not loving the formula so we're having a bit of a battle to get him to take it, but we're persevering.

Really hoping this does the job and we start to see some improvements and some weight gain as I'm not sure what the next steps would be.

If anyone has been through this and has any advice/words of encouragement please do get in touch!

Thank you everyone for your responses, I'm so grateful that you've taken the time to respond and it's so reassuring to hear that others have been in a similar situation.
panoramacharter.ltd/ 19216811.bid/

Thank you so much for sharing all this wonderful information It is so appreciated!! You have good humor in your blogs. So much helpful and easy to read!

panoramacharters.one/