I have been really struggling with my 7mo’s sleep and don’t really know what to do next.
We quickly discovered (following the 4 month sleep regression) that my DS sleep cycles are only 30minutes long. He will consistently wake up after 30 minutes both day and night in all environments (pram/car/cot) unless on me (for naps) or next to me at night (co sleeping) in which case he can go up to 2/3 hours in a go, but needs full support to return to sleep once awake.
As you can imagine, this has sort of taken over our lives, lots of up and downs to the cot and a very very upset baby who screams and cries out of frustration and tiredness.
Out of desperation, I called the Health Visitor for support and to check that there wasn’t anything I was missing. I was unfortunately greeted with quite an aggressive telling off about co sleeping and it’s risks - I wasn’t given the opportunity to explain that I have had to weigh up the pros and cons of co sleeping, have read every safety guidance about this and take every precaution necessary (husband doesn’t sleep in the bed, I use a single duvet and square cushion so that nothing is near my son) and have had to do this option out of desperation as he only sleeps half an hour at a time otherwise. The health visitor advised that the only option was to get my son to self settle, even if this involved crying in the cot.
We recently made the decision after lots of reading online to try a very gentle approach to try and teach self settling. It has taken months but we have gone from rocking to sleep, to stroking him to sleep in the cot, to a more “stay and support” approach - laying next to his cot (now out of sight) and intervening if he gets upset with a quick stroke/pat on his back then allowing him to fall asleep by himself. For the past week, my son has been able to fall asleep by himself, we are very proud of him... however he still wakes up at 30 minutes. The first couple of wake ups, he can resettle with a quick pat on the back but after the initial 2 hours Of sleep he gets very very very upset, screaming/frustrated so I end up bringing him in the bed with me again.
I am still holding him for naps to try and make sure he is getting enough day sleep so he is not over tired for bed time. But I am started to feel a bit “touched out” and would love at least one nap in his cot soon so I can get a bit of space myself. I would also like to look at moving him into his own room at some point but haven’t made the move yet due to him not sleeping well enough.
He will sleep in his pram/car seat but only when these are moving (will wake up if you stop) and these naps are only 30 mins too (think he gets distracted by the noises). I do his last nap of the day in his pram on a long walk. I have followed lots of guidance and have quite a good schedule with him now, 3 ish hours of naps throughout the day, a “feed-play-sleep” routine (he was never one to feed to sleep anyway) and his sleep environment is as suggested - dark as possible with white noise. He does use a dummy and after he has got the hang of self settling more, I may try and take this away in case the is the cause of more wake ups (happy to try anything!)
Sorry, I know this is a lot of information, I guess I felt like I wanted to let it all out and don’t know who to talk to as my last attempt for support from a health visitor ended in me feeling very judged as a parent.
I guess I was wondering whether anyone had been in a similar situation and has come out of the other side? Does it get better or was there anything which eventually helped? Has anyone’s little one still struggled to join together sleep cycles even after they can self settle to sleep or should I be trying again with health professionals?
Any tips for moving away from contact naps or co sleeping or for doing the transition to own room?
Any help would be so appreciated as I seem to only be around people whose babies only wake a few times in the night for feeds at the moment!
Many thanks!!