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Should I bite the bullet and go it alone?

4 replies

Joanne208 · 08/11/2021 17:28

I need advice/opnions please. I've been with my partner 20 years now, since I was 21. We had a baby 5 years ago and another 2 years ago. 10 years ago he was great with my niece and nephew. Since having our own he does nothing with them, especially since the 2 year old was born. He has had troubles with his business since she was born and this has now got to the point where he doesnt shower or look after himself. He does nothing with the kids, I do meals, baths, beds, pick up,drop off, take them on holiday on my own etc. And I work 3 and half days a week. He has sleep apnea too so I cant leave the kids with him even to do the food shopping in case he falls asleep. Weve not slept in the same bed for 10 years since his snoring started. He never comes anywhere with us or suggests even a walk as a family. I know he's probably depressed but I've tried everything to help him. I've answered his work phones, made docs appointments for his deteriorating health, I do all his washing, clean up after him blah blah. I'm tired. I do everything as a single parent anyway. I'm I being selfish leaving him when he is stuck in this rutt? Although he isn't doing much at all to help himself get better? He won't mention being unhappy to the docs as he doesnt believe in mental health.

OP posts:
Pineapplequeen · 08/11/2021 17:33

No your not being selfish - he is.

Sounds like a nightmare. can you imagine the relief you will feel when you dont have to do all the extra caretaking when you leave?

Too Good to leave too bad to leave is a great book when your thinking about staying or leaving a relationship I really recommend it. When I left my ex - he wasn't abusive - I just needed a fresh start it felt like I had took a really heavy jacket off.

Took me a while to find my feet but I do not regret it.

HappyintheHills · 08/11/2021 17:37

Not selfish, doing the best for you DC.

HappyintheHills · 08/11/2021 17:38

For your DC

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HollowTalk · 08/11/2021 17:38

That's a really unhealthy environment for you and the children to live in. It's unhealthy for him, too, but there's only so much you can do for him. Time to branch off. You will feel like you're on holiday!

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