Son not listening in Rugbytots

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My son was the only one there today who didn't seem to be listening/wanted to just do whatever he wanted to do.

It's his first week this week, so I can only hope that's the reason. However, most of the children there were new too.

Any advice or solidarity?

How old is he?

@Essexmum321

How old is he?

4 in Feb. Same as the other children there!

Give it a couple of weeks. Sometimes they just aren't ready.

Is he in preschool?

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Give it a couple of weeks. Sometimes they just aren't ready.

Is he in preschool?

He goes to nursery (preschool room) twice a week.

First lesson he'll have no idea what's expected of him. I'm sure the teachers will be well experienced in dealing with this. Also 2 days a week in nursery isn't a lot to learn different behaviour in group settings

Give it a few weeks and if he still isn't engaged stop going. Either try a different activity or wait 6 months and try again.

Yep been there. Give him a few weeks to get used to it. One of ours was fine at a similar activity for a few weeks, then suddenly became unable to cope - we kept it going for a while to see if he changed again, but he didn’t, so we just left it a while and tried again later, when it was fine. I wouldn’t read anything into not engaging well on the first try!

My son is like this with swimming lessons. Some weeks he is awesome, others he just messes about underwater and ignoring me and his instructor

He's only 4 and not used to what is expected. Did he have fun? Is a much more important question at this age. There's a huge variation in maturity at this age as well, he's still very little. Give it a bit more time.

@shoofly

He's only 4 and not used to what is expected. Did he have fun? Is a much more important question at this age. There's a huge variation in maturity at this age as well, he's still very little. Give it a bit more time.

He did have fun, and did engage with maybe 2/3 out of 5/6 games.

Was just a shame that at some points he just wasn't listening, and everyone else was!

Our DS is only 2 but he does a rugby group at the weekend. First few sessions we were lucky if he participated for 5 mins, total. The rest of the time he was off the other side of the field peeking through the fence, taking all the balls to the bucket, lying down to look at ants etc. Each week we asked did he like it and did he want to go again. Always yes.
Over the term he just started getting better at listening, joining in and now I'd say (smugly) that he's one of the most engaged children there. It just takes a little time. These sorts of groups are great at building those skills and as long as he is enjoying it and not spoiling it for others I think it's fine to just give him some time to settle in and get a feel for it.

He's only 3, it was his first time, he doesn't have a lot of practice in a preschool environment. He'll most likely be better each week. It's normal.

How many days nursery are people suggesting is enough? If two full days isn't?

If 2 suits you then stick with it. At 4 he absolutely doesn't need to be able to participate fully in team games but will still get something our of the experience. More and shorter days is better for continuity of care but that has to suit family life too. If it doesn't it's not a priority

Thanks for all the replies so far.

We're going to continue taking him and see how he does.

kids.dont.listen... teaching infants for 19 years and have two of my own. Even the ones that look like they are listening are only thinking of their next meal or what their friend is doing.
I love this age but they are not hardwired for obedience!

Honestly, it can take a few months to sink in what it's all about. It's about an hour, once a week and he is so young, he'll probably forget what even happened the previous week for a couple of months. My boy took nearly six months to properly engage with all the games when he started footy.....he's now at a premier league academy. Give him time to bed in.

Give it a try for a couple of weeks. If he still doesn’t pay attention, try something else. My youngest doesn’t pay any attention at football, rugby etc. Ballet however - completely focussed for a whole lesson.

Another thing to remember...part of the purpose of preschool classes is them learning to follow instructions.

My twins were like this at toddler ballet. They were 3. Covid thankfully intervened and saved my embarrassment, when they restarted at 4.5 ( in an older class but same teacher) they were all good. Its a maturity thing I guess.

My son doesn't listen and he's 18!

Seriously OP he's only 4. Don't overthink it :)

Bless him. He's only 3. What were you expecting ?

New environment. New people. New words / terms. Odd shaped balls. I say again - he's 3.
My dd helps at rugby tots sometimes. She says it is hilarious.
Don't forget at Nursery they follow their own interests. They don't have to follow instructions. He's 3.

Does he know he is meant to listen? Covid has meant that age group don't have much experience of groups. Normally they would have gone to various groups with and without you by that age but many haven't.

Just a bit of chat about how this will be fun but it's like nursery and he needs to listen to the grown ups so he knows what is happening.

@Kite22

Bless him. He's only 3. What were you expecting ?

New environment. New people. New words / terms. Odd shaped balls. I say again - he's 3.
My dd helps at rugby tots sometimes. She says it is hilarious.
Don't forget at Nursery they follow their own interests. They don't have to follow instructions. He's 3.

He's very nearly 4, as were the other children there!

Well, February isn't that near, but even if it were, it would still make him 3